Secrets Are Meant To Be Broken
by pupeez4eva
Summary: What will the Nation's do when their most well-kept secret is leaked, and the World finds out about their existence?
1. Chapter 1

As yet another World Conference drew to a close, the few Nations that filled the room found themselves wondering if they had really just wasted four hours of their lives on a load of bullshit.

"...And there you have it" America said, beaming widely as he gazed at the faces of each of the frustrated Nations. "I, the hero of this entire freaking world, am going to create a mega-awesome, half-super-hero, half-alien awesome heroic dude, by mixing my blood with my alien friend, Tony's, and then using it to make a heroic little clone! And then the super dude will save us all from Global Warming."

Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"The end!" America lifted a hand in the air, attempting to strike a heroic pose.

"...It took you the entire meeting to tell us that" England hissed, lifting his head from where it had been planted on the table for the majority of the time. _"The. Entire. Meeting."_

"I have to agree with England" Germany said, his voice filled with irritation. "That was a completely useless."

Austria shot Germany a smug look. "I _told _you we should start checking people's speeches at the door from now on! You thought I was crazy - and your idiot brother laughed in my face. Well _now _whose laughing?!"

Austria laughed.

Everyone ignored him.

"What are you guys TALKING about?!" America demanded. "That was completely awesome!"

Austria shook his head, looking vaguely disgusted. "Sometimes I wonder if he even hears what comes out of his mouth..."

"...Sometimes the Awesome Me wonders the same thing about you" Prussia piped up.

_"Why are you so useless?!" _England suddenly cried, his anger boiling over. The Nations all shifted in their seats, knowing what was approaching.

"Hey!" America snapped, an indignant expression appearing on his face. "I'm not useless - I can't be. Heroes are too awesome to be useless! It's quite tiring at times, actually."

_"WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IDIOT?!" _England howled.

"I am not!" America shot back. "And anyway, you suck at cooking and you're scones taste like they came out of France's arse...so no one cares about you opinion!"

"That is an insult!" France cried, clutching his chest in a dramatic fashion. "Angleterre's cooking does not deserve such a compliment! It is vile and disgusting!"

_"You _are vile and disgusting!" snapped England, glowering furiously at France. He turned back to America. "And don't you _dare _insult my cooking, you _CRETIN! _My scones are heavenly balls of goodness...you are not even worthy to lick their golden-brown crusts!"

"Well thank fucking god for that!" America shot back.

_"SHUT UP, MY SCONES ARE PURE GOODNESS!" _England howled, his face turning red with fury. "If only the same could be said about your _WORTHLESS, IDIOTIC BRAIN!"_

"Yeah well...if I have a bad brain, _which I don't, _then it'd be your fault, since you raised me! You just suck at parenting!" America snapped, placing his hands on his hips and glaring ferociously.

The entire room froze and went deadly silent; you could have heard a pin drop.

Then England exploded.

"Why you...YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHY I SHOULD PUT YOU OVER MY KNEE AND _SPANK THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU!"_

"...Kinky."

Unsurprisingly, that comment came from France.

"It isn't meant to be kinky!" England howled. "Dammit, _I hate you all!"_

Then his phone began to ring.

With a muffled yell of frustration, England yanked the device out of his pocket and flipped it open in a single, violent movement.

"WHOEVER THE _FUCK_ YOU ARE" he howled into the phone. "HANG UP NOW BEFORE I _TRACK YOU DOWN_ AND STICK A _SWORD_ THROUGH YOU!"

There was a moment of silence and then; "...Arthur? What the bloody hell..."

England froze. Oh _fuck._

It was his boss.

"T-this isn't England!" England choked out, forcing his voice to mimic a French accent (of course it sounded nothing like one). "This is the annoying pervert...England is busy...he can't come to the phone..."

His boss let out an irritated noise. "No seriously, Arthur..." he groused. "This isn't a joke! This is really important -"

"Whose Arthur" England laughed, continuing his poor imitation of France. "I don't know any Arthur, haha...I mean, er...oh HON HON HON.."

"Oh for God sake!" his boss cursed. "Arthur, I'm not joking! Wherever you are -"

"Bye bye!" England cut him off. "I mean...however you say bye in French..."

He hung up the phone.

England stood still, staring at the small device for a moment. Then, with a howl of frustration, he flung it at the wall with all his might. It shattered in multiple bits and pieces.

"THIS MEETING IS OVER!" he yelled to the room at large. "If anyone needs me, I'll be at the pub!"

He stormed out of the room.

There was a moment of silence; then everyone went back to their previous conversations.

"Haha" America laughed. "Silly old Iggy, getting all worked up about nothing..." his voice trailed of when he caught sight of the glare that Canada was giving him. "What?"

"America, seriously, why did you have to do that?" Canada demanded.

"Do what?" America asked. "He insulted my heroic self, what was I supposed to do?"

"America!"

"Hey, its not my fault!" America snapped, defensively. "Stop looking at me like that - you have no right! No one even knows you're there half of the time!"

"You know England gets touchy about certain things!" Canada said, choosing to ignore the insulting comment that had been directed at him. "It's not fair to push him like that!"

"How come he doesn't get yelled at?!" America demanded.

Canada shrugged. "Because he's probably drinking away hs sorrows as we speak, and I don't want to have to deal with him when he becomes a blubbering drunk...but that's not the point. Go apologize!"

"Why?" America sulked.

Canada narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Because if you don't" he snapped. "He'll be drunk of his arse and calling me in the middle of the night, crying about his sorrows and how much his life sucks, and making my life miserable over the phone! I need my sleep, dammit!"

"Okay..." America frowned. "So...why should I do it, again?"

Canada loomed threateningly over his brother. "Go apologize" he growled. "Or I'll _pour maple syrup all over your hamburgers!"_

America's eyes widened in panic. "No!" he cried, shaking his head in denial.

"YES!" Canada snapped back.

America's shoulders slumped. "Fine" he muttered. "...But you're coming with me" he added, scowling at his brother.

Then his phone began to ring.

America glanced at the caller ID and beamed widely. He held his phone to his ear.

"Hey boss!" he greeted, cheerfully.

"Alfred?" for some reason, his boss sounded panicked and nervous. "Oh thank God...look, I need you to listen to me, alright? Where are you?"

"I'm on the conference room" America replied, rolling his eyes. "You know that."

"Oh thank God..." his boss sighed, again. "Look, just stay there, alright?"

"No can do!" America replied. "I gotta go and get England from the pub or else Canada will maple all over my burgers!"

"What? No -"

America cut off his boss's panicked reply. "Now he's giving me a death stare...gotta go. Bye, Boss!"

"ALFRED -"

He hung up the phone.

Canada frowned. "Was that important?"

"Hmm?" America glanced down at the phone in his hand and then shook his head. "Nah."

...

England gulped down yet another glass of beer, too drunk to notice the shocked looks he was receiving from almost everyone in the pub.

"...and then he just...he just goes and ells me I'm a bad parent" he sobbed, his voice slurred due to all the alcohol he had consumed. "I was a bloody excellent parent. Wasn't I? _WASN'T I?!"_

The bartender, who had been staring at him with his jaw hanging open since he had walked through the doors, nodded his head slightly.

"My god, it can't be...?" murmured someone in the pub.

"Maybe someone should ask" suggested another voice.

"No! That's just weird!" someone else exclaimed.

England continued his drunken rambles, oblivious to what was going on around him. "I mean, I know I wasn't there very often but...I had a job, goddammit! I HAD A JOB!"

"Yeah..." choked the Bartender. "I mean...uh..."

"I want more alcohol!" England sobbed, slamming his empty glass down on the table.

The Bartender picked it up with shaky hands, and then dropped it to the floor. It shattered into dozens of tiny pieces; the man made no move to clean up the mess.

From nearby, a man muttered; "He can't be! No way can our country be that pathetic..."

"No! I recognize him from the news!" someone protested.

"I dunno..."

_"I WAS A GOOD BROTHER!"_ all conversation was suddenly halted by yet another one of England's exclamations.

Then America and Canada entered the room.

"Okay Iggy" America said, immediately making a bee-line for England. "Canada says I have to apologize to you, or he'll go all Mega-Maple-Man on me -"

"- I'll go all _what?" _Canada cut him off. In a lower voice, he added; "and don't call me that in public!"

"It's your super hero name!" America replied. "I don't need one, because I'm just awesome, but you haven't quite reached that stage yet, baby bro...also, don't sweat it, no one's going to notice anything, or give a damn if they do."

"...Then why are they staring at us?" Canada muttered.

There was a moment of silence.

The next exclamation shocked and horrified the twins.

"HEY - THOSE TWO ARE COUNTRIES AS WELL!"

...

**AN:**

**Okay, so this is a new story. I'm almost finished my story "Meet the States" so I thought I'd try writing another one now :D**

**If it's a bit confusing in this first chapter, things will get cleared up as the story progresses.**

**Please review and tell me your responses to this chapter, since they motivate me to write faster, and also give me an indication of whether or not people are enjoying my story. Plus, its always great to hear what you guys think! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

There was a moment of silence (at least in Canada and America's horrified minds) that was broken by Canada's choked whisper of; "Did he just say what I think he said?"

"No, no" America shook his head. "You must have misheard him." He chose to ignore the fact that he, too, had heard the man's exclamation.

"Yeah!" someone else from the pub exclaimed, in a loud voice. "Its...America, I think. Don't know who the other fellow is, though."

America and Canada exchanged wide-eyed glances.

"What the hell?!" America's voice was filled with disbelief. "How the hell do they know who we are?!"

"Well, who _you_ are" Canada corrected him.

"Oh, shut up" America scowled. "You're in just as much shit as I am."

"...Ungrateful miscreant" England was still ranting. His voice was slurred from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. "I raised you, I fed you, I held your hand while you cried after the first time you wet the bed..."

America chose to ignore the embarrassing statement, too panicked with the current situation. "They're all staring...shit, shit, shit, they're all staring..."

Canada's shoulders slumped. "For once in my life, I'm glad I'm practically invisible."

"Hey!" someone cried, pointing in Canada's direction. "I know who that is - he's Canada!"

"Aww, dammit" Canada whimpered.

"CANADA!" England howled, causing said Nation to jump in alarm. "You're just as bad as your brother! I was never good enough for you...all you ever wanted was that damn perverted Frog..."

"We really need to shut him up" America muttered.

"Are you really countries?!" someone cried.

"My god, I can't believe it" said another, disbelieving voice.

"I DON'T believe it, it's just a hoax..."

"No way, the news claimed it was definitely true.."

"Oh the _news _did, huh?" someone laughed, their voice filled with sarcasm. "Well I'm sure _they've _never lied about anything!"

"How _old _are you?!" a woman yelled at the three Nations.

"My god, yes" another woman exclaimed. "Are you immortal?!"

"This is insane..." a man muttered.

The cries continued, getting louder and more frantic with each one.

"My camera...I need my camera! Where the fuck is it?!"

"This is unbelievable..."

"How did no one notice this before?!"

"Are they dangerous?"

"What's going to happen now...?"

Someone pulled out a video camera and began to film them. Canada and America had no idea what to do; they stood still, gaping at the ground with wide, horrified eyes. England continued to babble out useless nonsense.

"Can I have your autograph, Mr. America?" America glanced down to see a small child holding out a pen and a piece of paper. His brow furrowed.

"Seriously, what's a kid doing in here?" he asked, to no one in particular.

"You once looked up to me!" England sobbed. "I was once your big brother; the hero that could do no wrong. What am I now? _WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEOPLE WE ONCE WERE?!"_

"...Hey that dude's England!"

"WE KNOW!" someone yelled. "Dude, where have you been this whole time?!"

"We just walked in" a female voice explained. "Why is he crying?"

"I don't know!" someone else exclaimed, voice filled with excitement. "Listen to what he's saying!"

"No, no, no" Canada moaned. "Don't do that."

_"LISTEN TO THE HERO AND SHUT THE HELL UP!"_ America cried, apparently coming to the conclusion that this was the best way to fix the situation.

"What the hell gives him a right to yell at us?!" demanded a nearby man. "He's not even our country!"

"Exactly!" England slammed his fist down on the table. "Down with America!"

"Oh come on!" America cried, flinging his arms into the air in frustration.

"Did he just say 'down with America'" someone murmured.

"Is that a declaration of war?!"

"Dear Lord..."

"NO!" England howled. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT, DAMMIT! I LOVE AMERICA!"

Canada looked horrified. "Okay, seriously, please stop talking..." he begged.

"YOU TOO CANADA!" England reached out and attempted to hug the startled Nation but missed and fell to the floor. "I LOVE YOU BOTH!"

"Oh my god!" gasped a female voice. "Did he just admit to being in a threesome with America and Canada?!"

"Is anyone getting this down?" another person asked.

"It's all on video, baby" someone replied.

"THEY ARE MY BABY BRO'S AND I LOVE THEM!" England continued to wail. "EVEN IF, AT TIMES, I FIND MYSELF WONDERING IF CANADA IS MEARLY A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION...AND AMERICA IS _FUCKING ANNOYING..."_

"We need to get him out of here" Canada hissed, to America.

America glanced at him. "When the hell did you get here?"

_"AMERICA!" _Canada snarled.

"I raised him...I took care of him...and how did he repay me?" England moaned. "He started a bloody revolution!"

"Dude, that sucks" murmured the female voice from before.

"I know, right?" someone agreed. "America is such a jerk to our country..."

"No, I mean, they aren't in a threesome."

It was at that moment that Canada and America decided that they'd had enough; they grabbed England roughly and made a mad dash for the door.

...

Oblivious to the drama occurring not to far from where they were, Germany, Italy and Japan sat in the airport, waiting impatiently for their flight to arrive.

"That meeting was the biggest waste of my life" Germany cursed. "Maybe I _should _start checking speeches at the door..."

"Yes" Japan agreed. "I find it quite hard to agree with America-san on this matter..."

"I though those slideshows were very cute!" Italy disagreed. "Ve...I wonder if he'd let me name the hero?"

"You idiot!" Germany spat. "There _is _no hero!"

"Well, not yet!" Italy replied, cheerfully. "America hasn't made him yet!"

"...Why must you be such an _IDIOT?!" _Germany howled. A few people glanced in their direction, looking alarmed.

Japan frowned. "Why are they taking so long to call out flight?"

Germany clenched his jaw in frustration and stood up, making his way over to the information desk.

"Excuse me?" he said. The woman sitting behind it glanced up, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to inquire about our flight" Germany said, proceeding to give her the information about it. The woman glanced at her computer for a moment, and then looked back up at him.

"I'm sorry, sir" she replied. "Your flight has been delayed."

"What?!" Germany cried, is frustration getting the better of him. "You have got to be joking! I have_ things_ to do at home!"

"Yes, sir- so do I" the woman replied, sounding irritated. "You'll just have to wait."

"Yay!" Italy appeared next to Germany, Japan following close behind. "I like the airport!"

"Oh, shut up you idiot" Germany snapped. "Dammit, I don't want to be stuck in this goddamn country any longer than I have to!"

"Excuse me!" snapped the woman. "It is hardly my fault that the flight is delayed. Now please sit down!"

"Is there nothing you can do?" Japan inquired, a frown creasing his face. Despite his polite tone, it was obvious that the woman was fed up with them.

"Would all of you just sit down?" she snapped. _"No _there is nothing I can do...dammit, I knew taking this job would lead to nothing but problems...everyone thinks they can just go around, demanding things from me..."

"Well I'm sorry!" Germany interrupted her, his tone rude. "But I just spent the past hour listening to an idiot rambling.."

"I _SWEAR_ if you end that sentence with; "And now I have to listen to another one..." snarled the woman.

"Woman, I wasn't going to!" Germany snapped, defensively.

"Who the_ hell _are you calling 'woman'?!"

"LOOK!" a nearby cry interrupted the conversation before it could get anymore heated; Germany and Japan were alarmed to see that the person who had made the exclamation was pointing in their direction. "IT'S THOSE PEOPLE ON THE TELEVISION!"

They turned to stare at the television, which was mounted on the wall. It had been turned to the News Channel, and a female reporter was currently speaking. To their alarm, a small picture of the three of them, along with a few other countries, was present on the far corner of the screen.

"...Hours since some of the most shocking news in the history of the world has been revealed" the reporter was saying. "To think, all this time, we have had the personifications of our countries hidden right under our noses, with us being none the wiser. There is no doubt about it either; the proof is undeniable..."

"...Dear Lord" Germany whispered, his eyes wide with horror.

Italy looked fearful. "Is this the end of the world?" he whimpered.

"I always thought the end would be brought about by America-san" Japan whispered.

...

**AN:**

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed! Please tell me what you liked about this chapter, along with what characters you would like to see in this story :D**


	3. Chapter 3

Completely oblivious to the chaos his brother, Japan and Italy were currently in the middle of, Prussia was cheerfully enjoying some time in the airport gift shop.

"Can the Awesome Me have this?" he demanded, jabbing a finger in the direction of a giant rainbow lollypop.

"Sure" the woman behind the counter - her name tag read 'Amy' - replied, dryly. "Do you have the money for it?"

"...No."

"Well then the answer is the same as it as been for te past two hours" Amy leaned forward. "No."

"Oh _come on!" _Prussia moaned. "Just give me _one _for free! I'm awesome - it shouldn't be a problem!"

Amy smiled. "Would you like me to call security, sir?"

_"IT SHOULD BE A PRIVILEGE!" _

Amy stared at Prussia for a moment. "You're annoying" she said, at last.

_"MY ARMIES WILL CRUSH YOU!" _Prussia howled, in response.

"Is that a threat?" a nearby woman asked, looking alarmed. "Should I get someone -?"

"Don't worry about it, Ma'am" Amy replied, rolling her eyes. "He's just an idiot."

It was at that moment that Prussia's phone rang. Ignoring the insult, he pulled it out of his pocket and held it to his ear.

"This is the awesome me" he said, into the receiver.

"Prussia!" it was Germany. "Wherever you are, GET OVER HERE NOW!"

Amy smirked. "Problems?"

"Nah, just my annoying little brother" Prussia replied, waving one hand dismissively. He turned his attention back to his raging brother. "Hey West - mind if I borrow your army? There's someone I need to crush."

"Prussia, I am not joking!" Germany snapped, his voice taking on a dangerous tone. In the background, Prussia could hear loud yells and other sounds that indicated a big commotion. His eyes narrowed slightly.

"West, what the hell is that?!" he demanded. "Are you having fun without me?!"

Prussia could hear the sound of Italy's voice coming through the other end of the phone; it was obvious that the other Nation was standing somewhere close to is brother.

"Dear God" Italy was saying. "Please turn back time and make it so that no one knows who we are. Amen."

"Hey, what's going on?" Prussia asked, frowning slightly. This was just getting weird.

"Look just COME OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Germany howled, in response.

"Alright, alright" Prussia replied, rolling is eyes. "No need to get your un-awesome panties into a twist."

He hung up the phone before he could hear his brothers response. He glanced at Amy and shot her a threatening look (or at least he tried to).

"I will be back!" he announced, before dashing out of the store.

...

"Get out and STAY OUT!"

France let out a loud yelp as his bottom made contact with the cold concrete.

"Monsieur!" France cried, turning to face the enraged man standing in front of him. "You cannot do this to me! I have done nothing wrong!"

"That was some of the most inappropriate behaviour I have ever seen in my years of managing this place!" he spat.

"But Monsieur -"

A moment later the door of the strip club slammed shut, leaving France shivering outside.

"Dammit..." he cursed. "Damn these Englishmen..."

France shuddered as a wave of cold travelled through him. He had left all of his money at home; where on Earth was he going to spend the night? He was much to fabulous to sleep outside! What is someone mistook him for being homeless...oh the _horror._

France silently cursed himself for not immediately going home after the meeting. He had thought that some time in England would be enjoyable; it had been a while since he had explored the other country.

Obviously this was not proving to be the case.

"France?" said a surprised voice. France glanced up, his expression changing to one of surprise when he saw Spain standing in front of him.

"Spain!" France greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"Spain, you bastard, wait for me!" cried a furious voice. A moment later Romano was standing beside Spain, panting hard.

"And little Romano!" France beamed. Romano's expression was one of horror and disgust.

"What the hell are _you _doing here, Bastard?" he spat.

"Yeah" Spain piped up. "What _are _you doing here?"

"Exploring England" France replied, simply. "Or at least, I was trying to. Now I'm trying to find a place to spend the night...perhaps I will attempt a bit of seduction to help me along, hmm?"

"Yeah, we're pretty much the same" Spain replied, offhandedly. "Exploring England...gotta love it!"

"What the Bastard means" Romano cut in. "Is that he lost our passports and now we're stuck in this bloody country until we manage to get in touch with our bosses and have them get us out."

"...Yeah that too" Spain mumbled.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with you assholes" Romano groused. "It's bad enough I had to spend the entire day listening to America's bullshit."

France considered this for a moment. "Yes" he agreed, finally. "I am rather surprised Amerique believed any of that 'create a hero' nonsense."

"Maybe he doesn't" Spain mused. "Maybe it's all a joke, or something."

Romano scoffed. "Oh please. The Bastard believes it."

Spain opened his mouth to reply; a loud, piercing yell cut him off.

"What the -?" he frowned. There is was again. There was the sound of pounding footsteps and as they drew closer, the yells became much more clear.

"STOP! _STOP! _HANG ON A MINUTE!"

France squinted into the distance for a moment; once he saw whom the yells belonged to, his expression changed to one of surprise.

"It's that horrid Englishmen!" he cried, indignantly. "The one who claimed I was acting inappropriately in his club - of course, I was doing no such thing -"

"Stop!" the man came to a halt beside France, panting heavily. He tilted his face up to look at the Nation. His eyes were wide with a multitude of emotions; excitement, disbelief, anticipation.

"Is it true?" he panted. "What they were saying on the News...are you really -? I mean...are you...?"

"...I don't know about you bastard's but I have _no idea _what the _fuck _he's on about" Romano muttered.

"I mean...its impossible...doesn't make any sense...I heard about it earlier today and I was like, no, that isn't possible, this is just a joke...it's a joke right? Your all apart of this big old joke against the rest of us..." the man paused his ramble to stare at the trio of baffled Nations.

"...You're not getting any better, Bastard" Romano told him.

"You were on tv!" the man cried, finally seeming to get ahold of himself. "You" he jabbed a finger in France's direction. "After I kicked you out, I was looking at the tv, and suddenly you were on the screen...bloody hell, they're saying you're France!"

No one had any response to this.

"And you!" the man whirled on Spain. "You were on there as well...Spain, I think, right?" he glanced at Romano. "Don't know who you are, though."

"Bastard!" spat Romano. "I'm South - I mean, I don't know what the fuck you're on about! This is worse than Ame - I mean Alfred's hero bullshit!"

"...This is a joke right?" Spain whimpered. "A big old joke that...that my little Romano cooked up!"

"Why the fuck would I waste my time doing that?!" Romano demanded.

"Shut up!" Spain clamped his hands over his ears. "Romano, I forgive you for doing this! It's all a joke...it's all a joke..."

"Bloody hell" the man cursed. "This...what the hell? I mean..."

"And it starts again" Romano muttered.

"I...I have to go and tell everyone!" the man said, shaking his head wildly.

France's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh no, Monsieur!" he laughed, weakly. "You really don't need to do that!"

_"YOU'RE FRENCH!" _the man pointed a finger in France's direction, breathing hard. Then he took off, panting heavily as he ran.

"...Dear Lord" France whispered.

There was the sound of more panting and the man returned.

"Excuse me" he muttered, pulling out his phone and snapping a quick picture of the trio. He then took off towards the club once again, leaving the Nation's staring after him.

"...All a joke" Spain was still muttering. "Haha, my little Romano, you have tricked me! I am laughing..."

"Idiot" Romano cursed.

France pulled out his phone, fumbling with the buttons as he typed in the first number that came to mind; England's.

He listened to the ringing on the other line, his heart thudding in his chest. He needed to speak to someone about this...find out if they were experiencing the same things. Perhaps this was all a big joke, as Spain seemed set on believing. Or perhaps their was another explanation...

The sound of breathing on the other end alerted him to England's presence.

"Angleterre!" he exclaimed. "Do you know what is happening -"

" - BLOODY AMERICA! WHY WASN'T I EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM?! _WHY?!"_

With a yelp of pain, France yanked the phone away from his ear and glared down at the small device. England's hysterical screams could still be heard.

"BLOODY, UNGRATEFUL RASCAL...I DESERVE MORE RESPECT AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR HIM...I RAISED HIM...I WAS THE BEST BIG BROTHER IN THE HISTORY OF BIG BROTHERS..._WHY WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM?!"_

"Turn the fucking speaker off!" spat Romano, scowling furiously at the phone.

"The speakers not on" France muttered, still rubbing his ears.

Suddenly the phone went silent. Hesitantly, France lifted it to his ear and listened for a moment.

"Hello?"

France's shoulders relaxed slightly; it was only America, and not England, back with more ear-splitting howls.

"Amerique" he said, urgently. "Something is dreadfully wrong...this man, he was saying that he knows who we are - that we were on the News -"

"- I know" America cut him off. "I learned the hard way...anyway, I really can't chat. Canada, England and me are running away from a _fucking massive _screaming mob, and England's slowing us down. So we'll talk later."

The phone hung up. France stared down at the object for a moment, and then glanced up at the other two Nation's standing in front of him. Spain still had his hands clamped over his ears, and Romano was furiously muttering something in a mix of Italian and English (...well the only English word France could hear was 'Bastard' but whatever).

What were they going to do?

...

"Sealand!" Finland called out, as the small Nation bounded past his 'parents' letting out squeals of excitement. "Slow down! And don't go too far, alright?!"

"It's a park, Mama!" Sealand called back, shooting Finland an amused look. "I'm not going to get lost in a _park!"_

Finland sighed, rolling his eyes and shooting an amused look at Sweden, who glanced back at him with his signature blank look.

Finland was glad that neither him, nor Sweden, had been required to attend the World Conference. Finland had heard, in passing, that America was planning to speak during the meeting. He knew, from experience, that this never ended well...or quickly, for that matter.

Finland leaned against Sweden slightly, and smiled as he watched Sealand sprinting away into the distance.

Sealand stopped running and glanced rapidly around the park, trying to spot some of his friends. He eventually managed to catch sight of a few of them, standing in a group a few meters away. He hurried over, a large grin stretched across his face.

They were all so involved in their current conversation, that they didn't even notice Sealand hurrying towards them, even when he was standing right behind them. His brow furrowed slightly, Sealand leaned forward, prepared to alert his friends to his presence.

Their next words froze him in his tracks.

" - Yeah, my Mum says's there's no way it's real. But my Dad say's it is. They've been arguing about it ever since it came on the News...I think it is real. _And _I think it's cool! I mean come _on - _human countries?!" Sealand's friend, Billy, exclaimed excitedly.

A girl, Sarah, let out a sniff. "I think it's creepy."

"It's weird" mumbled another kid, Oscar. "I mean, how can a country be a human?"

"They aren't _human!" _Billy rolled his eyes. "Geez, Os, don't you know _anything? _They're like, super-dudes or something! And their immortal!"

"They're countries" Sarah corrected him, her voice barely a mumble.

_"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MAMA AND PAPA?!"_

All three children jumped and whirled around, their eyes widening when they caught site of Sealand.

"Peter!" Billy exclaimed, grinning at his friend. "We were just talking about that thing on the News - you know, about the Nations?"

"How do you know?!" Sealand could feel his eyes bugging in panic; it was meant to be a secret! His friend's weren't supposed to know! How could they possibly know?!

"What are you talking about?" Sarah demanded, placing her hands on her hips. "It's all over the News; it's all anyone's talking about -"

"- OH MY GOD!" Billy's loud exclamation caught the attention of not only his friends and Sealand, but also many other people in the vicinity. "IT'S THOSE COUNTRIES!"

_That _caught the attention of pretty much _everyone._

People began to murmur, trying to find out what Billy was going on about; some caught sight of Sweden and Finland and began to point and let out loud exclamations. Soon everyone had picked up on the commotion, and had found the source for it; the formerly quiet area of the park was soon descending into chaos.

"LEAVE MY MAMA AND PAPA ALONE!" Sealand yelled, stamping his foot on the ground. Billy, who heard his exclamation, whirled on him. His eyes were wide with shock and confusion.

"What do you mean?!" he demanded. "How can Finland and Sweden be _you're parents?!"_

Sealand had two homes; one in Finland and one in Sweden; he, along with his parents, were currently in Finland. Billy, standing in front of him, was trembling with excitement. Sealand realized that the other boy was probably stunned by the sight of his country; it was one thing to hear about it - it was whole other matter to actually _see _it.

Sealand opened his mouth to reply (he honestly had no idea what he was going to say; probably some angry response in his parents defense) when an someone grabbed his arm and yanked him away from the commotion.

"Hey!" he yelped, struggling slightly.

"C'mn" Sealand immediately relaxed at the sound of his father's voice. The yells of the crowd grew louder as the three Nations hurried away. A few people broke away from the crowd and ran forward, snapping pictures and crying out things that were barely coherent amongst the noise.

"Dammit!" Finland cursed, his eyes wide with panic. "How did this happen? How could they know?!"

"D'no" murmured Sweden. "J'st k'p r'nin'."

"I know, but -" Finland shook his head. "Oh God, what are we going to _do?"_

Sweden didn't answer but his rip on Sealand's arm tightened.

"I think they're gone" Sealand mumbled, his normally perky attitude subdued from the current situation.

Finland and Sweden slowed down and Sealand copied these actions. The small family reduced their pace to a walk and stayed silent, occasionally glancing over their shoulders to see if anyone was coming.

Finland's phone rang; he jumped and then shot an embarrassed look at Sweden and Sealand, before pulling it out of his pocket and holding it to his ear.

"Hello?" he murmured, his voice tinged with nervousness.

_"FINLAND!" _It was Denmark.

"Yes?" Finland asked, listening to the other male's panicked breathing.

After a moment Denmark continued his panicked yells. _"WHY THE HELL?!" _he howled. _"IS THERE A BUNCH OF REPORTERS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW, ASKING IF I KNOW ABOUT YOUR 'AFFAIR' WITH SWEDEN?!"_

* * *

__**AN:**

**Review please; tell me what your favourite part was, and what you thought of this chapter. **

**I read the suggestions for countries you'd like to see in this fic, and I HAVE included them in my plan for this fic. They will be showing up eventually!**

**Haha, I'm really having a good time writing this. I LOVE fics where the Nation's are revealed...the reactions are always hilarious. If any of you guys have any that you've written, or that you particularly like, I'd love to read them...I always find a shortage in these.**

**Anyway, yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter - there will be more to come :D**


	4. Chapter 4

America coughed and shuffled his feet, staring at the floor with nervous eyes. He sat on a chair, his form hunched over as he tried his best to avoid all eye contact with the scowling man sitting across from him - his boss.

"...You can stop glaring at me now" he said, after a long period of silence. He let out an awkward little laugh which did nothing to crack his bosses steely exterior.

"Alfred" the other man said, at least. "When someone calls you on the phone, sounding particularly worried, what is the usual, _rational _reaction?"

"...Do you know everyone kind of knows about us now?"

"I KNOW!" his boss stood up in his chair and Alfred yelped, inching away slightly; he'd never known that his boss could be this intimidating! "For Godsake, man, that was what I was calling you about!"

Alfred rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair, scowling like a petulant child. "Well you could have just _said _that" he muttered.

His boss breathed hard. "Alfred...you hung up on me..." he growled. "Before I could even tell you about it, you _hung up on me!"_

"Sorry?" Alfred tried. "Seriously though, dude, if I hadn't I couldn't have gone after Iggy...and trust me when I say, you are _glad _that I went after Iggy."

His boss winced slightly. "Yes...someone caught part of that little tirade of his on video..."

Alfred raised one eyebrow. "Really?" he asked. "What part?"

"...A part that now has everyone under the assumption that you are in a relationship with England and Canada."

There was a moment of silence. "...No" America cried, at last, disgust coating his tone. "Dude, they're my _brothers!"_

His boss sighed and clenched his teeth slightly. "Yes Alfred" he snapped. "And that is why I told you to _STAY WHERE YOU WERE!"_

America thought for a moment. "...Well at least it's not Russia."

His boss sat down again, letting out a string of muttered curses. "Goddammit!" he cried. "I mean, who the _hell_ went and told them?!"

"I don't know but whoever it is, they are _not _going to be a happy camper" America replied, shrugging his shoulders. He let out a small laugh. "Everyone's going to be trying to kill them and stuff...and of course, it'd be my job as hero to bring fourth justice -"

"- Oh _no" _his boss cut him off. "You aren't going _ANYWHERE!"_

_..._

All the way across the world, England was having a similar conversation with his boss.

"Honestly, I don't know what the matter with you is..." his boss ranted as England watched on with wide, guilty eyes. "God Arthur, I thought you were better than that..."

"I didn't do anything wrong!" England suddenly cried, unable to take the heavy scolding any longer.

His boss paused his tirade and glared at him, a hint of disbelief in his expression. "The entire world is under the impression that you are have a relationship with _Canada and America!"_

England thought about this for a moment. "Well I do, don't I?" he said, at last. "After all, they _are _my little brothers - as much as I hate to admit it..."

"Not THAT type of relationship, you git!"

England choked in disbelief. "Who are you calling a git?!" he demanded. "I - wait" his eyes widened. _"What _did you just say?!"

"Yes" his boss replied, dryly. "Haven't you been watching the News?"

England's eyes were glazed over with horror. "It was the alcohol speaking, dammit!" he whimpered. "And its all that bloody America's fault -"

"Yes" his boss cut him off. "You seemed to mention that a lot while you were drunk...not to mention a lot about how you raised him, and about how ungrateful he is, and about how you are the best big brother in the history of the world, and about -"

"- I get it okay!" England cried. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Well, yes...you get the idea" his boss nodded.

England winced. "And they still think I'm in a relationship with him?"

"And Canada."

"...Why?" England winced again.

His boss shrugged. "People hear what they want to hear, I guess...oh and, speaking of which, you might want to inform people that you _aren't _planning on declaring war on America" he studied England's wide-eyed, disbelieving look. "Yes, something you said seemed to have given them that idea...I think it was along the lines of 'down with America.'"

"Sweer Lord" England buried his head in his hands. "I honestly don't know what came over me..."

"I do" his boss replied. "An intense amount of alcohol, and a hatred for your life."

"...You're really mad right now, aren't you?" England muttered.

His boss snorted. "What gave you _that _idea?"

...

"You know" Finland murmured. "If you ignore the hoards of screaming people outside, this is actually pretty nice..."

_"FINLAND - FINLAND!"_ screamed a voice from outside. _"IS IT TRUE THAT YOU ARE SHACKING UP WITH SWEDEN?!"_

The family of three (Sweden, Finland and Sealand) were camped out in the living room, as per request by Sealand. Sleeping bags and droopy-looking huts made out of bedhseets had been set up in the cosy little room and the three Nations sat, enjoying each other's company and ignoring the commotion coming from outside.

"Y's, I g'ree" Sweden murmured, pulling Finland closer towards him. The smaller Nation snuggled up against him, making a soft, content noise.

"Mama, Papa!" Sealand wailed, looking at them in disgust. "Not in front of me!"

_"IS IT TRUE YOU HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER?!"_

Finland smiled at Sweden and Sealand. "Cookies, anyone?"

"Oh, I'll have some!" Sealand said, eagerly.

"M'too" Sweden murmured.

_"WHAT DOES YOU RELATIONSHIP MEAN FOR THE PEOPLE OF YOUR COUNTRIES?!"_

"Can I have some warm milk too?" Sealand asked.

"Of course!" Finland beamed at his son. "I'll just go and get everything together." He stood up and headed over to the kitchen.

_"ACCORDING TO DENMARK, YOU TWO ARE MARRIED!"_

Finland paused, his eye twitching slightly. A moment later, his cheerful exterior was back.

"I just love family time, don't you?" he announced, beaming widely.

...

"This is _so _unawesome" Prussia muttered, scowling petulantly at the floor. "I should be enjoying my awesome life right now - I shouldn't be stuck in this unawesome place with you two - no offence Italy, you're awesome...well not as much as me, of course, but don't get upset - no one ever is."

Italy beamed at Prussia. Beside him, Germany rubbed his temples and scowled.

"Shut up" he told his brother.

The three nations (well, two nations and one ex-nation) were currently holed up in Germany's house, hiding from the world in general. After hours and hours of endless chaos, the nations had finally made it back to their homes in one piece. Japan had parted with them and had gone back to his own home. Italy had decided to tag along with Germany...and Prussia had no home, so he had come along too.

"Ve...I am very nervous" Italy murmured, his smile fading. "I don't like that everyone knows about us."

"Shut up, Italy" Germany snapped.

"So unawesome..." Prussia sighed. "Can't we at least go and annoy Austria and Hungary?"

Germany's eyes flashed. "NO, GODDAMMIT!" he howled.

Italy pouted. "I'm hungry" he whined. "Who wants pasta?"

Germany looked moments away from breaking something. "You are _not _making pasta!" he spat.

"Aww, Germany, why not?" Italy pouted.

Prussia joined in the conversation. "West, don't be uncool" he reprimanded. "Just let him make some pasta - I'm hungry!"

"Shut _up, _you idiots!" Germany yelled. "We have been stuck in this place for the past few _days _and it is driving me insane! _You _are driving me insane! I should't have to hide from my own people! _THIS IS INSANE!"_

"...Maybe he won't notice if I make just a bit" Italy murmured, to himself.

_"TOUCH THAT STOVE AND I WILL _END _YOU!"_

Italy jumped high in the air, letting out a squeak of fear.

"...I'm hungry" Prussia moaned. He slumped to the floor and stared miserably at the ceiling. "West, I'm really, really hungry."

Germany stared at Prussia for a long moment, a deadly look burning in his eyes. Prussia swallowed and pulled himself of the floor, inching away slowly.

For a short while, silence fell among the small group.

"...Dammit" it was, surprisingly enough, Germany who finally spoke. "We need to have a world conference as soon as possible. This is insane...we need to do something about it..."

Prussia nodded his head. "I know" he said, for once sounding serious. "We need to find the asshole who leaked our secret!"

"Can we pray together, later?" Italy asked, cocking his head to the side.

Germany winced slightly. "Why?"

"Because!" Italy perked up slightly. "Then maybe we'll get what we want, and everyone will forget!"

Prussia coughed. "Yeah...I doubt anyone will be forgetting anytime soon" he muttered.

"...Or maybe we'll go back in time to when nobody knew!" Italy added, excitedly. "That would be nice, yes?"

"...I'll organize a good date for the conference" Germany said after a slight pause, choosing to ignore Italy's ideas. "I'll then attempt to find a way to contact the other countries."

A sudden wave of shouts and screams from outside stopped any further conversation. Germany's eyes widened in panic; Prussia let out a string of curses; Italy let out a small whimper.

From the words being shouted, it was obvious who they belonged to.

_"GERMANY! GERMANY! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CURRENT -"_

_"HEY, IS IT TRUE THAT ITALY IS IN THERE WITH YOU? WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM?!_

_"COME OUT AND GIVE US A SMILE!"_

_"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO YOUR PEOPLE?!"_

"They are very loud" Italy whimpered.

"How on _earth _did they find out our location?!" Germany howled. "I took precautions, goddammit!"

"...It might have been my sign."

Germany's head snapped around and he stared at Italy with narrowed eyes; the expression in them promised intense pain.

"What...sign...?" Germany asked, through gritted teeth.

Italy pointed outside of the window; with trepidation, Germany walked over to the window and peaked outside, trying to stay out of sight from the reporters.

Sure enough, positioned in the middle of the garden, was a sign which read; "Home of Germany and Italy!"

Germany wondered how the hell he had never noticed that before.

"Dammit!" Prussia appeared next to Germany, scowling. "Why isn't the awesome me on that sign?!"

"Sorry Prussia!" Italy apologized, his eyes wide. "I forgot...don't worry though! I'll go write it down now!"

Italy skipped over to the door, a smile on his face. He seemed to have forgotten about the crowds of reporters waiting outside.

Prussia and Germany exchanged horrified looks.

"ITALY, _NO!" _they both howled at the same time.

It was too late; Italy opened the door and, as soon as he did so, the vultures (...reporters) descended.

...

**AN: **

**Yet another chapter. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Review please :D**


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Poland waltzed into the small cafe, decked in his favourite outfit (perfect for a quick show of cross-dressing) he spotted the girl sitting at the other end of the room.

It wasn't because she was pretty. It wasn't because she was particularly remarkable. It wasn't because, in a sudden fit of realization, he discovered that he had found his soulmate.

It was because she was wearing the same top as him. And that, was like, _totally squeal-worthy._

Poland strutted to the other end of the cafe, unbothered by the possibility that someone might regonise him as their nation. After all, he had the perfect disguise on - his female counterpart. No would would realize it was him.

"Like, mind if I sit here?" he asked the girl, once he was standing directly in front of her. The girl glanced up from the newspaper she had been reading and nodded her head.

"Go ahead" she said. She took a sip from the cup of coffee that had been rested near her elbow, and then set it back down. "I love your top by the way" she added, with a small laugh.

"Thanks" Poland grinned. "I, like, love yours too."

The girl smiled at him and then went back to reading her newspaper. Poland glanced at it, curiosity in his eyes.

"Like, what are you reading?" he asked. "Anything that would totally make me lose my cool?"

The girl shrugged. "It's about the whole nation thing" she told him. "You know...the personifications."

She squinted at him.

"You know...you kind of look like the personification of Poland."

Poland beamed widely. "Like, oh my god, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!" he gushed. "I mean, he's like, totally sexy and stuff, right?"

The girl blinked, looking surprised by his outburst. "I guess" she said, after a momentary pause. "I mean, I didn't really think about it. He's my _country. _It's _weird."_

"I know right - he's sexy" Poland said, with a nod.

"So, I don't think I asked you your name" the girl said after a moment.

"Oh yeah" Poland grinned. "It's Felka."

"Nice name!" the girl said. "I'm Irena."

Poland considered the name for a moment and then smiled at the girl - Irena. "That's like, totally squeal-worthy" he gushed.

"Thank you!" Irena said, with a pleased laugh.

She sipped her coffee in silence for a moment; Poland stared at his picture, that had been displayed across the newspaper page, admiring his (_'god-like' _) features.

"So...Poland's totally awesome right?"

Irena blinked at him for a moment. She let out an awkward laugh. "Well...he _is _my country. So yes, I guess."

"I know, he's like, the best" Poland nodded. "I read somewhere that everyone wants to, like, sleep with him and stuff. And they think he has awesome outfits...and, like, totally silky hair and stuff."

"Err...where did you read this?" Irena frowned, sounding skeptical.

"Somewhere" Poland replied, waving one hand in a dismissive gesture. "Don't you think Poland's better than Prussia?"

"Sure I guess?" Irena frowned. "Wait, do you mean Russia?"

"Ha!" Poland jerked forward, a large, triumphant grin spreading across his face. "Suck that, you Prussian loser! Whose the awesome one now?!"

"...Felka, you are strange" Irena stated, with a shake of her head.

Poland's phone rang.

"Like, don't move a muscle, okay?" he told Irena. "I'll be, like, right back."

He dashed out of the room.

Usually when someone called him, it was Lithuania. Which was why, as soon as Poland clicked the 'receive call' button, he immediately said; "Hey Liet!"

"Poland, I am needing help!" wailed Lithuania.

"...So, like, I met this totally cool chick who thinks I'm totally hot" Poland told his friend, ignoring Lithuania's distressed cry. "Well, she thinks Poland is totally hot and right now I'm Felka, but still -"

" - Poland, they're trying to get inside!" wailed Lithuania.

"...And she thinks my hair is nice" Poland continued to talk. "And that I have nice outfits. And she thinks I'm better than Prussia too! Aww, Liet, I have, like, such cool citizens and stuff..."

_"THEY ARE INSIDE MY HOUSE!"_

Poland paused his rambles and thought for a moment. "Hey, Liet, we should, like, totally have a sleepover!" he said, at last. "Later though - I'm not done talking with Irena about how hot I am -"

"POLAND!" Lithuania howled.

...

Of all the countries to hold a press conference, _why _did it have to be Belarus?

This thought ran repeatedly through Russia's mind as he stared with wide, horrified eyes at the screen of his television. His sister's smiling (_cruel, terrifying_) face had been enlarged upon the screen.

Two reporters sat across from Belarus on chairs, staring at her with eager eyes.

"Ms. Belarus?" the female reporter began.

"That is my name" Belarus replied with a brief nod of her head.

"Yes, well" the reporter smiled. "I'm sure everyone is glad that you decided to have this interview...not everyone is being as cooperative, hmm? And by that, I mean the other countries..."

"Yes, well, bit everyone has a beautiful man by their side, fueling them on" Belarus replied. This sentence was followed by a dreamy sigh.

Russia flinched.

The reporter sat forward, looking eager. "Beautiful man? Oooh...do tell" she urged.

The male reporter coughed awkwardly. "Um..." he said, gazing at the woman. "We had a set list of questions to ask..."

The female reporter nudged him in the stomach to cut him off; she then directed another large smile at Belarus.

"Well?"

"Do not say it..." muttered Russia, gazing imploringly at the television screen. _"Please _do not say it..."

Belarus let out a giggle. "I am talking about -"

"...For all that is holy, Natalya, do not say it..." Russia pleaded.

" - my big brother, Russia!"

Russia slammed his head on the arm of the sofa he was seated on.

The female reporter looked slightly disappointed. "Ahh...so not a special someone?" she sighed.

The male reporter leaned in close to his female partner and hissed; "We need to ask about what's going to happen now that the secret is out -"

The female reporter thumped him in the stomach, effectively cutting him off.

"Big Brother _is _a special someone!" Belarus snapped, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "Big Brother is very, _very _special..."

"Natalya...please..." Russia moaned, his eyes screwing shut.

"One day, Brother and I will get married!"

_"NO!" _Russia howled.

"...Seriously, the boss told us we had to ask - WAIT, _WHAT?!" _the male reporters eyes bugged out of his head as he realized just what Belarus had said.

The female reporter sat still, gaping.

"Big Brother belongs to me..." Belarus continued to rant, oblivious to the reporter's shock. "I love him very much...we belong together..."

"You...you want to marry your brother?!" choked the female reporter, looking like she wasn't sure whether to look excited at the scandalous news, or horrified.

"...What?" the male reporter muttered, still unable to come to terms with the news.

"Why Natalya..." Russia moaned. "My people will probably be watching this..._why?"_

"Someday, Belarus will once again be one with Russia" Belarus announced, proudly. "And he shall be one with me!"

"I...what?" the female reporter shook her head, her eyes wide and baffled. "I mean, no...huh?"

"...What did she say about becoming one with Russia?" the male reporter stuttered.

Belarus smiled at the camera, a menacing light burning in her eyes. "Big Brother...if you are watching...I love you!"

Russia jerked back, as if he had been burned.

Belarus turned back to the stunned reporter's. "Anymore questions?"

The male reporter shut his opened jaw and struggled to find something appropriate to speak about. "Uh...what is going to be happening now?" he finally managed.

Belarus beamed. "Now that the secret is out...wonderful things will happen" she began to cackle. "Before, only I could show my love for Big Brother. Now...my entire country can! You want to now what will happen now? I'll tell you - YOU WILL ALL HELP ME CONQUER MY BROTHER'S HEART AND _DESTROY_ ANYONE OR ANYTHING THAT _STANDS IN MY WAY!"_

The last thing Russia saw was the horrified faces of the reporters, before be turned of the television, curled himself into a tight ball, and willed the image of his sisters maniacal face to go away.

...

An hour later, when he had finally managed to gain control over himself, Russia left the house. His pipe was slung over his shoulders and he hummed a merry little tune as he walked.

As he entered the village people seemed to grow silent. Their eyes immediately lingered on him; stunned looks passed through the crowd.

"Hey!" one brave child came running forward, looking excited. He came to a stop in front of Russia and beamed up at the nation. "Hi Mr. Russia!"

Russia smiled pleasantly and raised his pipe in the air, waving it threateningly. The child's eyes widened and he backed away, before bursting into tears and running away as fast as he could.

Russia kept walking.

As he walked he waved around his pipe as if it were a baton; people leapt out of the way with cries of fear and surprise, to avoid being hit.

No one really bothered him much.

...

Austria was in a bad mood.

Somehow, the entire world had found out their secret. That in itself was horrible, but to make matters worse, he was forced to have to be confined in his house. The streets were filled with his excited citizens, all eager to catch a glimpse (and probably a lot more) of their nation.

And, if that wasn't bad enough as it was, Hungary's house had been invaded by reporters; she had needed a place to stay. So now, on top of everything else, he was stuck with the annoying girl.

At least Prussia wasn't here.

As soon as this thought had entered his mind, there was a knock on the door. After a moment of hesitation, he opened it - his jaw dropped open as he caught sight of the people standing on his doorstep.

Prussia, Germany and Italy all looked and terrible; their clothes were ripped, their hair resembled birds nests and they were all panting hard.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. He glanced at the white haired ex-nation and considered slamming the door in their faces.

"They are in my house" Germany moaned.

"Who?" Austria asked, bewildered. Germany's face immediately darkened.

"The reporters!" he snapped. "Who else, you idiot?"

There was the sound of loud footsteps and excited yells. Germany's eyes widened in horror; Italy let out a squeak of fear and latched onto Austria, who let out an indignant yell and tried to get him off.

"Dammit!" cursed Prussia. "They must have followed us!"

Austria's eyes widened in horror.

_"YOU LEAD THEM HERE?!" _he roared.

* * *

**AN:**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter :D Tell me what you think of it!**

**Also, thank you for all your reviews :D**


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, so his boss had told him to stay where he was.

And he had been...but the walls of his house (however large it was) got boring after a while. Plus, he'd finished all of the frozen hamburgers amongst his 'In-Case-of-WWIII' supplies. And all of the ones amongst his 'In-Case-of-Another-Civil-War' supplies. And the ones in his 'In-Case-of-a-Zombie-Apocalypse' supplies.

He'd even finished the ones in his 'In-Case-I-Am-Ever-Not-Heroic-and-Therefore-Need-Some-Serious-Comfort' supplies.

So...basically, he was all out of frozen hamburgers. Or any other type, really.

His boss would understand if he explained things to him. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps...

...Probably not.

America stopped for a moment, considered this, and then shook his head. His boss would never find out.

He reached his destination; the McDonald's situated close to his house. Making sure that the hood of his hoodie was pulled carefully over his head, casting shadows over his face and therefore making it impossible to recognize him, America pushed open the door and walked inside.

He walked up to the register, pleased to see that there wasn't much of a line. He would buy his food, scoff it down, and then leave as soon as he possibly could. That was the plan - and since it had come out of his heroic head it would _totally _work.

"Hey! What can I do for you?" the woman standing behind the register asked, her voice cheerful and bright.

America coughed, trying to disguise his voice as much as possible. "Get me a Big Mac" he replied.

The woman looked vaguely disturbed; it might have had something to do with the fact that his voice-disguise made a person think of the guy from Silence of the Lambs crossed with a fifty year old pervert who still lived with his mother.

"No, make it four Big Macs" America said, in that same voice. "And an ice cream" his coughed, struggling to keep up the strange voice, which was starting to hurt his throat. "In a kiddies cone."

The woman stared at him, her eyes wide.

_'Oh shit' _America thought, panicking slightly. _'Does she know who I am?'_

Of course he had nothing to worry about; the woman's shock had nothing to do with the fact that she was staring at her nation but rather with the fact that she thought she was staring the next man who would appear on the news, next to the flashing letters; "Sexual Predator at Large!"

"Uh...of course, sir" she finally managed.

America beamed; his smile was hidden by the shadows cast across his face from his hood. "Thank you" he said.

He walked over to a nearby table and sat down. Staring at a nearby clock with wide, intent eyes, he tried to hide his apprehension. He was a hero - they didn't get nervous about anything! Plus, he had a disguise on - if Spiderman could hide his identity with his costume, then why couldn't America?

"...America..."

He leapt in the air and whirled around at the sound of his name. His mind screamed; _'NOOO! THEY KNOW WHO I AM - MY BOSS IS GOING TO _KILL _ME!'_

"...it's the place to be -" the man who had been spoking spotted America staring at him (or rather, he saw a tall man with a black hoodie obscuring his face, facing his direction) and his voice trailed off.

America sighed in relief and turned away, allowing himself to sit back down.

He was being ridiculous - no one would find out who he was. Why was he acting so nervous? This was McDonalds - one of his favourite places in the entire world! He should have been enjoying himself -

" - so then I was like, oh my god, _America -"_

America whirled around again, his eyes almost bugging out of his head.

" - best place _ever -"_

He turned back around before the girl who had been speaking could see him staring at her, and slumped against his chair. Dammit, he was getting _way _too paranoid.

"No one knows..." he muttered. "No one knows...just calm down..."

A ball slammed against the back of his head.

"I'm sorry sir!" a kid squeaked, hurrying over to him. America rubbed the back of his head, cursing under his breath.

"Dammit kid!" he moaned. "Why the hell are you throwing a _ball _in here? Dammit, I am so not in the mood for..."

His voice trailed of as he realized that everyone was staring at him.

"...Something bad just happened, didn't it?" he muttered. He felt his head; sure enough, the hoodie had been knocked straight off by the force from the ball.

"Oh shit" he cursed, pulling it back on.

"HEY! IT'S AMERICA!" screamed a person from the crowd of people staring at him. Things were starting to heat up; people were getting excited and pulling out phones, snapping pictures, screaming things out...

"Why does this keep happening?" America whimpered, getting a flash-back to the English pub. Getting a flash of inspiration, he grabbed te ball out of the arms of the shocked kid and flung it with all his might at the crowd. It slammed into the back of someone's head, knocking them to the floor.

"HEROES ARE ALWAYS THE BEST AT MAKING DISTRACTIONS!" he yelled.

There was a slight pause - then everyone went back to screaming and snapping pictures.

"...I wonder if anyone will care if I throw the kid?" America muttered.

...

"Why the fuck did you follow me home?"

Romano glared viciously at France and Spain, both of whom were sitting next to him, chatting happily away, as if their entire lives hadn't been completely changed in the blink of an eye.

"Calm down, Little Romano" France cooed, ignoring Romano's furious yell at the comment. "I was simply following Spain."

Spain nodded. "I was following you" he said.

"BASTARDS!" yelled Romano.

"...It's cold up here" Spain said, after a moment. All three nations looked down at where they were currently seated - the roof.

Romano snorted. "Well, it's not like we can go in there" he muttered. "Since the Bastards are IN MY HOUSE!"

"Yes - as Prussia would say...this is _not _awesome" France sighed.

The three of them started morosely into the distance.

"Well..." Spain murmured after a moment, turning to smile lovingly at Romano. "If this had to happen, then at least we're lucky enough to be together."

"...If I throw myself of the roof, will I die? I hope so" Romano muttered, glaring viciously at the ground.

"Ah Romano...you are so funny!" France exclaimed, chuckling heartily. He then sighed wistfully. "You would have made a lovely French colony..."

"That's it!" Romano snapped, leaping to his feet. He walked to the edge of the roof. "I'm jumping."

Spain laughed nervously. "Romano - sit down!"

"No way, Bastard!" Romano spat. "The entire world knows about us; my house is being invaded by a bunch of annoying bastards; I'm stuck on this roof with _you _and _him _- life usually hates me but this is just _ridiculous!"_

A reporter wandered outside of the house. Romano quickly sat back down and scooted over to where he had previously been sitting.

At the looks that Spain and France were shooting him, he quickly muttered in a defensive tone; "The last thing I need is the headline; _'SOUTH ITALY - SUICIDAL?'_"

...

"...How come your boss hasn't done anything about this?" Germany asked Austria. The two of them, along with Prussia, Italy and Hungary were holed up in Austria's living room, listening to the excited yells coming from outside.

_'I left one hell-hole and ended up in another' _Germany thought, morosely.

"I don't know" Austria snapped. "Why hasn't yours?"

"...I honestly don't know" Germany muttered.

"It's these damn reporters" Austria sighed, his shoulders slumping. "You can't control them."

"My boss kind of yelled at me over the phone, and then told me not to leave the house" Italy piped up, beaming widely. "Isn't he funny?"

"...I have no boss" Prussia announced, lounging across Austria's sofa. "I'm just that awesome."

Hungary frowned towards the doorway and shook her head. "They are quite loud, aren't they?" she muttered.

For a moment, the five of them listened to the screams coming from outside.

"You stupid idiots" Austria muttered, glaring at Germany, Italy and Prussia. "You just _had _to go and lead them to my house, didn't you?"

"Do not blame me!" snapped Germany, defensively. "Blame Italy - he allowed them into my house!"

"Then why did you have to come _here?!" _Austria exclaimed, frustration coating his tone.

"First place I could think of" Prussia said, joining in the conversation. Austria glared at him.

"I'm hungry" Italy sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Can I please make some pasta?"

Hungary beamed at him, looking like she wanted to lean over and pinch his cheeks. "Oh, Ita!" she cooed. "You are _so _cute!"

Germany glanced at Italy. "No" he said.

"Excuse me!" spat Austria. "This is my house - I make the decisions!"

Italy beamed, his dejected look vanishing immediately. "So, I can make pasta?" he asked, eagerly.

"...No" Austria replied.

"Aww, don't be mean to Italy!" Prussia scowled. He shot a smile at Italy. "Don't worry - you can make pasta."

Germany and Austria both shot Prussia vicious glares. "NO HE CAN'T!" they yelled, at the same time.

Germany cursed and clenched his fists. "Italy, shut up; Prussia, shut up; Hungary, shut up; Austria shut up!"

"How dare you!" howled Austria. "This is _my _house!"

"We nee to discuss what we are going to do about this situation!" Germany snapped. Seeing that Italy was about to say something, he heatedly added; "Italy - don't you _DARE _say 'pray.'"

"...Actually, I was going to say that we should surrender and wave the white flag."

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!" Germany howled.

Hungary scowled at him and thunked him on the head with her frying pan.

"Don't yell at my little Ita!" she spat. Germany let out a string of curses and rubbed the back of his head.

"We should go and tell those reporters how awesome we really are!" unsurprisingly, that statement had come from Prussia.

Austria smirked at him. "They probably don't even know who you are" he mocked.

"Oh shut up!" Prussia snarled, falling for the bait. "My armies will -"

" - Crush me?" Austria's smirk grew wider. "Guess what, Prussia - you don't HAVE any! Hahahaha -"

"SHUT UP!" Prussia howled. "I will GET one! I will get a BIG one and it'll be as awesome as me! And then I will come and DESTROY you and take over all your vital regions -"

"STOP SCREAMING!" Germany howled. "THEY MIGHT HEAR US!"

"...I think I just heard Germany!" said an excited voice from outside.

There was a moment of silence.

"I think we should hold a world conference" Germany continued to speak, in a quieter tone. "We should get everyone together and discuss what should be done -"

"Will I get to make pasta?" Italy asked, cutting him off.

"NO!" Germany yelled.

"I told you it was Germany!" cried the same voice from outside. Germany's face coloured with rage.

"Goddammit!" he snarled.

Hungary frowned. "How are we going to get everyone together?" she asked.

Austria nodded. "Yes - the girl has a point" he said. Hungary beamed at the praise. "With everything that is going on, how could we possibly hold a conference?"

Italy leapt into the air, beaming. "We could wave the white flag!" he exclaimed.

"...We could distract them with our armies?" Prussia suggested.

Germany slammed his head on the nearest hard surface he could find.

"We should choose a conference room" Hungary said, choosing to ignore Prussia and Italy's useless remarks. "If we be subtle about it, we might be able to keep the humans from finding out."

"Oh I don't know" Austria snorted. "We seem to have a problem with doing that."

"I wonder who leaked the secret?" Prussia mused. He glanced at Austria and narrowed his eyes. "It could have been you."

"Says the person who has nothing to lose" Austria scoffed. "If there was a list of suspects, you'd be at the top."

Prussia jerked forward, his expression darkening with rage. "How dare you!" he snarled. "Why would the awesome me have to -"

"SHUT -" Germany paused and lowered his voice a moment later. "Shut up. Hungary - that is a good idea. I'll try and get in contact with as many people as possible and then, whoever is able to make it can discuss the situation and what to do to fix it."

"Time travel!" Italy squealed. Germany thunked him on the head a moment later.

"You are _not _using my phone" Austria warned them. "I will not have a large phone bill on top of everything else!"

"I'll make the phone calls" Prussia said, shooting Austria a gleeful look.

...

**AN:**

**Thanks for all of your reviews!**

**Hope your all still enjoying the story, and I'm not boring you! xD Its great to read all of your comments and such, so thanks for taking the effort to post reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

It had taken a quite a bit of time but in the end, Germany (...and the others, although they really hadn't helped all that much, what with Prussia and Austria constantly arguing, and Italy whining about pasta, and Hungary alternating between hitting Prussia with her pan and cooing over Italy) had managed to call up as many countries as he could possibly think of and inform them of the upcoming conference.

Now he could only sit back and wait and hope that everything turned out for the best.

...

"I knew this would work!" Spain laughed gleefully, as he leapt from the edge of the rooftop he was standing on, and landed on the next.

"I feel like one of those America superheroes in those comic books..." France sighed. "Of course much, much, _much _more sexy!"

"I feel like an idiot" Romano muttered.

The three simultaneously jumped to the next roof.

Their plan had been simple; stick to the rooftops until they put as much distance between them and the reporters as possible. They would think about the next steps in their plan once they'd managed to do that (_if _they managed to do that).

"Can we get off this stupid rooftops?" Romano grumbled; obviously he hadn't put much faith into the plan.

"No!" Spain cried. "We can't do that! Those reporters will see us and then we'll _never _make it to the meeting!"

"This is just so - _AHHHHHH!"_

There was the sound of a loud _'thump!' _and the screaming stopped.

"Ro...ma...no...?" Spain stuttered, his eyes wide.

France simply gazed at the spot where the Italian had previously been standing. Romano, who had been too busy complaining about the situation to realize that the string of rooftops had come to an end, had toppled straight over the edge.

"Oh my god!" gasped a voice from below. "Was that South Italy?!"

"Dear god" someone else exclaimed. "Is he alive?!"

"ROMANO!" Spain howled, his voice filled with agony. A moment later he too had thrown himself off the roof.

Dreading what he would see, France peered cautiously over the edge of the roof. He winced at what he saw; it was _not _a pretty sight.

For a moment he considered going down and helping his friends...but then he _really _wanted to get to that meeting. Besides, it wasn't like either of them could die. They _were _nations, after all.

France stood still for a moment, considering his options. He could leave now before anyone saw him...or he could stay and help his friends. The latter was _probably _the right thing to do...

"...Non."

France stepped away from the edge of the roof and ran in the other direction, leaving Spain and Romano to the wrath of the reporters.

...

The streets were crowded. Canada stumbled through, bumping into people and tripping over his own feet and those of others.

No one noticed him.

It was sad really; he was all over the news. People wouldn't shut about the 'amazing truth' about how their nation was personified; and yet, he could walk through a crowded street like this and _no one even saw him._

Sometimes, life really sucked...not that he wanted them to see him, of course. That would suck even more.

He stopped abruptly as he came across a large crowd of teenagers, talking loudly about, well...him.

"I can't believe it!" exclaimed a young, blonde girl. "Our nation a human? It's so weird!"

"I wonder if he's hot?" murmured a brunet. "I can't remember which one is Canada...is he the one with the stubble?"

"No that's France" replied a boy. "Canada's the dude with the glasses and the bear."

"Oh" gasped the blonde. "He was _so _adorable!"

Canada hesitated before walking past them. He expected them to see him; to cry out and make a commotion.

They didn't.

With a frown, Canada took a few steps backwards, until he was standing in his previous spot. He walked past them again. Once again, none of them acknowledged his presence.

He hurried back again and repeated this. Nothing. He did this again - nothing. He repeated these steps a few more times.

_Nothing._

"It's not _fair" _Canada mumbled, miserably. He'd been receiving non-stop phone calls from America, France and England, telling him all about the insanity of reporters, and how they couldn't be left alone, and how they had to barricade themselves in their houses to get away...

...For him, there was nothing. He could walk through a crowded street without being noticed. Hell, he could probably throw himself of a building, die and then _come back to life _and no one would notice him.

Jaw clenched and feeling rebellious, Canada began to shout.

"HEY EVERYONE!" he howled. "IT'S ME - CANADA! YOUR NATION! I'M HERE, STANDING BEFORE YOU - _LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!"_

"...Did you hear something?" the blonde girl asked her friends.

"Nope" replied the brunet. "Probably just the wind."

...

Finland, Sweden and Sealand walked out of their house. Finland smiled as pleasantly as he possibly could, and tried to ignore the flashing cameras and excited shouts coming from the reporters standing in front of them.

"Do you hear something?" he asked, loudly.

"No" Sweden replied, playing along.

"...Are you two deaf and blind?" Sealand demanded, obliviously. "How can you not see all the reporters taking pictures of us?!"

"We can see them, Sealand" Finland sighed. "We're just _pretending _that we can't."

"Oh! Like those nations always do when I'm around!" Sealand cried.

Sweden glared at a nearby reporter, who backed away in fear.

"Oh don't do that" Finland laughed, laying a hand on Sweden's arm. "We don't mind, do we? We can barely even notice them!" he laughed again, although the strain in it was evident.

"Are the two of you married?!" a nearby reporter demanded. "Denmark said -"

"Denmark is going _down" _Finland snapped, cutting him off. A moment later his expression brightened again and he let out another fake laugh.

"Is Mama alright?" Sealand muttered.

"J'st a b't o c'bin f'ver" Sweden replied.

...

Over in China, China (the personification), Japan and Korea were walking through the streets dressed in a big panda costume.

How had they all ended up together? Don't ask. Why were they dressed in a panda costume? ...Well it was the perfect disguise, of course.

They'd need the perfect disguise if they wanted to make it out of the country.

"I can't see anything, aru!" China cursed. "Can anyone - _YONG SOO! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!"_

"Your breasts belong to me, da-ze!" Korea announced.

"I am not a woman - I have no breasts!" China snapped.

"Shut up!" Japan hissed. "They'll hear us!"

"Yong Soo!" China howled. "Get off before I _KILL YOU!"_

"Killing originated in Korea, da-ze!"

Japan sighed, attempting to ignore his brothers as he peered through the eye-holes in the panda costume. In front of him were a street full of people, marching in a circle and holding signs with things like "REVEAL OUR NATION!" and "GIVE US THE TRUTH!" written on them.

...Life really hated them, didn't it?

"What is it, aru?" China demanded. "Can you see anything?" A moment later he let out a howl of frustration, followed by an angry cry of; _"YONG SOO!"_

"...Maybe we should turn the other way and run" Japan suggested.

"Running originated in Korea!"

A little kid came running out of the crowd and headed straight for them, much to Japan's horror.

"Look!" squealed the child, pointing at them in excitement. "A giant panda!"

"Panda's originated in Korea!" Korea declared.

"Shut up, aru!" China snapped. "They are native to China! Also, _GET YOUR HANDS OF ME, I AM NOT A WOMAN!"_

"Shut up!" Japan hissed.

The child giggled. "The panda is screaming!"

A woman came running from the crowd and latched onto the child's arm. "Sweetie, get away from that bear -" she urged, pulling the child away.

The child broke free and reached out with eager hands. Japan yelped and ducked away; the child's hands hit the top of the costume, knocking off the panda's head.

"...Shit" Japan cursed.

The mother started to scream.

"OH MY GOD!" she shrieked. "You're _JAPAN!"_

Her screaming had begun to attract attention in the crowd; people started to look over, and when they caught sight of Japan's startled face..._they _began to scream.

People began to rush over, trying to get a better glimpse of the nation. Japan tried to take a step back and cursed, realizing that China and Korea were positioned on the lower half of the costume.

"No..." Japan moaned, as he watched more and more people rush over. "Don't do that..."

"JAPAN!" China yelled, realizing that the top of the costume was gone. "Why did you -" he glanced up and froze when he caught sight of the masses of people closing in on them.

"RUN ARU! _RUN!" _he howled.

"Running originated in Korea!" Korea squealed.

"SHUT _UP _ARU!"

"I can't run!" Japan snapped. "I'm at the top! _You _run!"

"I can barely move, aru!" China retorted. "Yong Soo is taking up all the space!"

"You're boobies are mine!" Korea declared, attempting to grope China. China smacked his hand away, glaring.

"I am not a woman, aru!" he snapped.

As they continued to argue, Japan watched as the crowd of people grew larger and larger.

"I hate you all" he whispered.

...

"You know" England said, leaning back in his seat. "It was nice of you to fly me to my meeting on your private jet."

"Shut up, Arthur" his boss snapped. "I just don't want you to mess anything else up."

"...Ah" England sighed. "You're still angry, I presume?"

"Shut up, Arthur."

His boss's assistant walked over and smiled at the two.

"Can I get you a drink?" she offered. England perked up, remembering that there was a large supply of alcohol on the plane. He opened his mouth to reply but closed it when he caught sight of the deadly look on his boss's face.

"Don't even think about it!" the other man snapped.

...

Switzerland was barely panting, despite the fact that he had been running for miles, with his sister clinging on tightly to his back.

"Are you holding on tight, Liechtenstein?" he asked.

"I am, Big Brother!" Liechtenstein replied.

People pointed at them from all sides of the street. Switzerland didn't reply; he was used to it by now. He also had a very effective method of dealing with them.

He pulled out his gun and fired it a few times in no particular direction.

People screamed and leapt out of the way, in order to avoid being hit.

"You know, this is actually quite fun" he murmured, firing the gun again.

Liechtenstein giggled. "I am glad you are having fun, Big Brother" she told him, hugging him tighter.

"...Yes" Switzerland said, after a brief pause.

"I made you a sandwich for later, Big Brother" Liechtenstein added. "You're favourite!"

"Does it taste like sandwich?" Switzerland asked.

"Yes."

"Good" he gave a small nod.

He fired his gun again at an unsuspecting man standing a few feet away. The bullet missed (Switzerland didn't actually want to murder any of his citizens) but the man _did _let out a girly scream of fear and run in the opposite direction.

"Big Brother, I don't think he even saw us" Liechtenstein said.

"...Your point?"

...

"This is, like, totally not cool."

Poland sighed as he leaned against the wall of the closet, and listened to the sounds of the reporters voices coming from the other side. After finishing his conversation with Irena he'd gotten the feeling that he'd forgotten something; a few hours later he remembered Liet. So, like the amazing friend he was, he'd gone to his friend aid...

...Which really hadn't done much since the two of them were currently hiding in Lithuania's closet.

"POLAND YOU ARE A TRAITOR AND A BAD FRIEND!" Lithuania howled, making Poland jump in alarm.

"Liet!" he cried. "You're, like, dreaming - wake up!"

Lithuania blinked sleepily for a few moments, and glanced at Poland. "Oh...you haven't left me?" he murmured, tiredly.

"No" Poland replied, giving his friend an odd look.

"Oh" Lithuania mumbled, blushing slightly.

"Yeah..." Poland glanced miserably towards the door. "We _are _trapped in, like, a closet though."

"Have the reporters left yet?" Lithuania asked, sounding hopeful.

Poland listened for a moment. "No" he said, at last.

"Will they ever leave" Lithuania sighed, his shoulders slumping.

Poland thought for a moment. "Probably not" he replied.

"Oh" Lithuania perked up slightly. "Well, I am glad that you haven't abandoned me, like that one time with Russia." He shuddered.

"Oh..." Poland tried to remember what Lithuania was talking about. "Like...yeah. Totally."

"...This is too strange" Lithuania said, after a brief, awkward pause. "Why are you still here?"

Poland rolled his eyes. "Because I'm, like, a totally awesome best friend - _duh!" _

"Poland...why are you still here?"

"...I, like, kind of forgot the door couldn't be opened from the inside" Poland muttered.

"Are you saying that we're stuck?" Lithuania demanded, sounding horrified.

"Yeah, pretty much" Poland shrugged. "I mean, what did you, like, expect? Like, what else would I say?"

"Because you are my best friend!" Lithuania snapped. "Because you love me!"

"Uh..." Poland blinked. "Like, sure thing Liet. Whatever, like, makes you happy."

"POLAND!" Lithuania howled. "YOU ARE A_ HORRIBLE FRIEND!"_

...

"Hey Iggy, can you pick me up?" America asked, balancing his cell phone in his hand as he gazed nervously out of his bedroom window.

"I'm in the bloody air, you idiot!" England snapped. "How the hell do you expect me to pick you up?!"

"But I really want to get to that meeting!" America wailed. "And I can't make it to where my plane is because all the reporters are outside my house and - I really need help!"

"No!" England growled. "If you can't get to the meeting, then don't come. I'm sure we'll be better of without you anyway!"

"PLEASE!" America wailed. "Please, please, please, please, please, please?!"

"NO!"

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, _please -"_

_(Five minutes later...)_

" - Please, please, please -"

"Alright _FINE!" _England howled.

...

Germany stood back, observing the small group of nations that had arrived.

Out of the dozens and dozens and _dozens _that he had invited...only fourteen had showed up. Oh, and that little guy in the sailors costume.

He shuddered to think about what had happened to the rest.

...

(_In China...)_

"RUN ARU!"

"Stop telling me to run! I cannot run!"

"Running originated in -"

_"SHUT UP YONG SOO!"_

**...**

**AN:**

**Hope you enjoyed this xD I'm having a ton of fun writing this story. Tell me what you think, guys :D You're all awesome!**


	8. Chapter 8

"...So" Germany coughed, as he gazed around the room. "Is this...all of you?"

Everyone simply stared at him.

"Get on with it, will you?" Austria grumbled, after a brief moment of silence. "I'd like to finish this before the humans discover our whereabouts and destroy the last bit of hope we have left."

Prussia snorted and slouched back in his chair. "Way to bring up the mood" he muttered.

"Big Brother France?" Italy said, leaning towards the blonde. "Fratello was with you, wasn't he? Where is he?"

France shuffled awkwardly and avoided Italy's eyes. "Ahh...yes!" he laughed. "Well...he is...alive..."

"Well of course he's alive, silly!" Italy exclaimed, laughing obliviously. "That's not what I was asking!"

"He's...on the ground..."

Italy laughed again. "Big Brother France is so silly!"

France opened his mouth to reply but Germany cut him off.

"Yes he is!" the blonde said. He pushed Italy out of the way and leaned over towards France.

"Tell me you didn't kill South Italy" he hissed. "The last thing I need at the moment is a hysterical Italy."

"I didn't do anything!" France protested. "Oh and yes - he is fine" he added, after a brief pause.

Germany stared at him for a moment and then, after closing his eyes and shaking his head, made his way back to his seat.

"Switzerland, why on Earth do you need a gun in here?" England asked, focusing his attention on the nation in question.

"To keep the humans away" Switzerland replied, as he glared at the wall and continued to point his gun at it, as if he expected something to jump out.

England's brow furrowed. "There aren't any humans in here..." he muttered.

Liechtenstein smiled at her brother, lovingly. "Big Brother likes his gun very much" she stated, happily. "If big brother is happy, then I am happy!"

Hungary gazed around the room, frowning as she noted the small amount of countries present. Brushing this off, she smiled at everyone and tried to stay optimistic.

"Did anyone have a hard time getting here?" she asked.

"Nah!" America laughed. "I came with Iggy!"

"Never again" England muttered. _"Never _again."

"Oh, it was easy for us!" Finland laughed (almost everyone could hear the strain hidden behind the cheerful facade). "The reporters barely bothered us!"

Sweden patted him on the shoulder.

Finland gazed around the room, his eyes flickering rapidly.

"Where...where's Denmark?" he asked. Despite trying to sound nonchalant, their was a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Austria looked at him oddly. "Denmark?" he repeated. "Why on earth would you want to know -"

"Just answer the question, alright!" Finland snapped, his smile fading and a dark look crossing his face. A moment later it was gone, and the happy mask was back.

"I mean" he laughed, as Austria stared at him with wide eyes. "I was just...wondering."

"I'm surrounded by crazy people" Austria muttered. In a louder voice, he said; "Denmark obviously didn't make it."

Finland looked slightly pleased about this. "Oh?" he murmured. "I hope he wasn't hurt too badly..."

"...I never said he was hurt..." Austria looked at Finland strangely.

Finland laughed again. "Of course not!" he exclaimed. "That would be terrible!"

"You know" Canada said. "I found it really hard to get here! Everyone kept stopping me on the streets and taking pictures...I ended up having to use all these alleyways and dark spots to make it without being seen! And even then, people were trying to get at me, and -"

"Do you hear something?" America cut him off, looking around the room in confusion.

"Of course not you idiot" England laughed. "You're just hearing things!"

Canada's shoulders slumped.

"Russia?" Ukraine turned to her brother, her brow furrowed slightly, and a look of concern evident on her face. "Have you seen Belarus? I hope she's alright."

"I hope not" Russia muttered.

Ukraine frowned. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing, nothing" Russia replied. _'Please let the mobs have gotten her...' _

Germany stood up and the room fell silent (a rare thing in a world conference).

"I have a suggestion for what we could do to deal with this" the blonde nation said, his voice authoritative. "Perhaps a few of us could hold a press conference to deal with the situation; attempt to control the crowd a little. Perhaps giving them some actual information will calm things down a bit, and will stop everyone from making so many assumptions."

"Yes" England muttered. "Like the assumption that I am in a relationship with my two younger brothers..."

France frowned at him. "You mean isn't true?"

England stood up, his face thunderous. "Of course it isn't true!" he roared.

"Shut up" Germany told him. He turned back to look at the room at large. "It would be too much trouble if everyone was attempted to get involved" he said. "We should limit it to a few nations; perhaps three or four. We will then broadcast the interview to as many countries as we possibly can. Hopefully, if we take matters into our own hands and stop running away and hiding, we might be able to help the situation."

"Good idea!" England smiled. "Which countries would like to do this?"

No one answered.

"Belarus is going no where near a camera" Russia suddenly snapped. "Suggest this to her and I will smash you with my pipe."

Once again, no one answered.

"Ve..." Italy turned at gaze at Germany with wide eyes. "Germany suggested it - he should do it!"

"Yes, that's actually a good idea" England agreed. "Germany, you are usually quite good at these type of things -"

_"NO!"_

Everyone stared at Germany, startled by his loud exclamation.

"I mean..." Germany coughed, sitting back down. "I...do not think that would be a good idea..."

England frowned. "Why not?" he asked.

"I just don't, okay!" Germany grumbled.

England tried again. "But -"

"Goddammit, they already know where I live!"

America decided to butt in at this moment. "Being the hero I am" he announced, flashing everyone his trademark grin. "I would totally do it, except my people are kind of acting like fuck-tards. However, have no fear - I have a plan!"

Groans irrupted around the room.

"Oh dear lord" England moaned.

Undeterred by their reactions, America continued to smile. "We should make Sealand, Canada and Prussia do it!"

"Dare I ask...why?" England sighed.

"Because, it's obvious, duh!" America gestured towards Sealand. "Sealand's not even a country, so no one's going to freak out over him -"

"Hey!" Sealand snapped. "I am too a country! I'm the best country in this _room -"_

"Shut up kid" Prussia told him.

"...And Prussia's not even a country anymore, so the same pretty much goes for him" America continued.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Prussia howled. "Those losers can only WISH for the chance to bask in my glory!"

"...And no one even knows who the other guy is" America added, completely ignoring Prussia's exclamation.

"Canada" Canada muttered, frowning at his twin.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" America turned to frown at him in confusion. "You realize that this is a private - oh,_ Canada!_" his eyes widened in realization.

"...Yes."

"Well, yeah, bro, no one ever knows your there" America laughed, slapping his brother on the arm. "So your the perfect candidate! Everyone would be too excited by the presence of the rest of us - mostly me - to listen - but you guys are useless and invisible, so it'd totally work!"

"MY ARMIES WILL COME AFTER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP AND _CRUSH YOU!"_

Unsurprisingly, this came from Prussia.

"So, whose in?" America asked the room.

"America!" Canada snapped. "This is _so _unfair!"

"Papa! Mama!" Sealand wailed. "He can't do this to me!"

"...America, I don't think that I like this idea very much..." Finland stated, frowning.

"You wanna take his place?" America asked.

Finland stared at him for a moment. "...Sealand, I'm sure it won't be that bad" he said, at last.

"MAMA!" Sealand howled. "You traitor!"

"WEST, GIVE ME YOUR GODDAMN ARMY!" Prussia continued to scream.

"...You know" Germany muttered. "It is actually a good plan."

...

"So, they asked you to give a conference?"

Canada's boss leaned against his seat, staring at his nation through curious eyes. Canada nodded his head.

"Yeah, they did" he replied.

His boss's brow furrowed. "Why?" he asked.

"Because, uh..." Canada hesitated for a moment. Somehow America's explanation just didn't seem...well, it would have utterly humiliated him. Forcing a convincing smile onto his face, he began to lie through his teeth.

"It's because they all think I'd be the right guy for the job" he explained. "They think that I'd be good at handling the crowd and manipulating the situation and uh...they think, more than anyone else, I'd have the best chance at fixing the situation. They said they had a lot of faith in me and my abilities, you know?"

His boss looked surprise. "Really?" he exclaimed. "But you're always complaining about them not treating you right!"

Canada shrugged. "Well, I guess they finally realized that I'm just as good as them."

"Well its about time!" his boss grinned.

"Yup" Canada nodded his head. On the inside, he sighed guiltily.

"So...you're holding the conference" his boss still seemed surprised.

"Yup" Canada replied. "Me, Prussia and Sealand."

_"Who?"_

"Prussia and Sealand" Canada repeated. His boss stared at him blankly.

"...I've never heard of them" the human muttered, shaking his head.

"Prussia's the white haired guy" Canada prompted. His boss continued to stare at him without any hint of recognition.

Canada coughed. "Uh, you know...'I am awesome!' 'Suck it losers, the awesome me is here!' 'My armies will crush you!' ...no?"

His boss continued to stare at him for another moment, before his eyes lit up with realization.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "You mean that creep who kept asking me what I thought about the invasion of vital regions?"

"...Yeah that sounds like him" Canada replied.

His boss frowned. "I thought he wasn't a country anymore...why would he be holding a conference?"

"Oh you know..." Canada waved one hand, dismissively. "Same reason as me."

"Oh" his boss frowned again. "And what about the other fellow?"

"Eh? Sealand? Well he's...uh..." Canada thought for a moment. "He's...this guy. Kind of short...always wears a sailor costume..."

His boss stared at him, blankly.

"...You know what, it doesn't matter" Canada finally said. "You probably haven't met him anyway."

"You know Matthew" his boss said, frowning. "Other than you, of course, those were some strange choices..."

Canada shrugged. "Well, everyone seemed to think it was a good idea" he said. _'For completely different reasons of course.' _"I guess, majority rules."

"Right" his boss shrugged his shoulders. "Well, at least it's you and not some idiot who would probably just screw things up further."

"You mean my brother."

"...Yes..." Canada's boss looked awkward.

"Yeah, well" Canada hesitated for a moment, before continuing. "It was his idea to use me."

"Really?" his boss looked surprised.

"Yeah!" Canada smiled. "I guess he's starting to appreciate me more."

_'...I wish.'_

**...**

**AN:**

**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here's another chapter! Haha, thank you so much for all your amazing reviews! Your guys are the best :D**

**I'm having so much fun writing this fic...I love writing humor xD This fic is going to get pretty insane so I hope you continue to enjoy it!**

**Review please! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

The press conference; a failure or a success? You be the judge.

To put things simply, it was already around an hour into the conference...an no one even knew that three nations were standing in front of them.

"When the hell are the countries going to get here?" a reporter demanded.

"This is kind of lame..." her partner sighed. "I mean, I was hoping for America. Or maybe England..."

"...I was hoping for Canada" the first reporter muttered. "You know, because we're _in _Canada."

"I'm right here" Canada said, waving a hand in front of their faces. Unsurprisingly, they didn't see him.

"Why don't we ask that white haired guy when the nations are going to get here?" one reporter suggested.

"Good idea" another replied. "Excuse me sir - when are the nations going to arrive?"

Prussia's face darkened with rage at the question.

"I _AM _a nation, you loser!" he snapped.

Excitement flittered throughout the crowd.

"Did he just say he's a nation?!" someone cried.

"Oh! Which one?!" someone else demanded.

"He sounds German..."

"No, no, Germany's the blond guy with the _massive _muscles..."

"I'm PRUSSIA!" Prussia howled. "The best nation in the history of the world - learn my name for I shall once again RISE!"

"...Did he just make that up?"

"Get off the stage you impostor!" a man near the front yelled. "So not cool, posing as nations and wasting our time!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Prussia demanded. "I _am _a real nation! Dammit - my armies will _crush you!"_

The man snorted. "Like you have any" he muttered.

"Guys, he is a nation..." Canada said, trying to interfere before things got out of hand.

No one heard him.

While Canada continued to try to calm the crowd, and Prussia continued to threaten their lives, Sealand was encountering his own problems.

"LET ME GO!" he howled, as two security guards dragged him off. "I AM a real nation! I'm a nation, I'm a _NATION!"_

"Sure you are, kid" one of the security guards snorted. "Look, sneaking into private property isn't cool -"

"I'm _SEALAND!"_

"Yup, sure thing kid" the security guard pat Sealand on the head. He then leaned close to the other guard, muttering in his ear; "Someone call the loony bin."

_"I'M PRUSSIA!" _could be heard from the distance.

"That's another one!" the second guard cried. "Better go get him!"

He hurried off to apprehend Prussia.

"Oh maple..." Canada moaned, as the white-haired ex-nation was dragged off the stage. "I knew this was going to happen..."

...

Finland sighed and rapped lightly on Sealand's bedroom door.

"For the last time, I am NOT coming out!" Sealand wailed.

"Oh Sealand" Finland sighed. "Just come out already! It's really not that bad!"

"Not that bad?!" Sealand sounded incredulous. "They dragged me from the conference and drove me to the police station! They refused to believe that I was a real nation!"

"...Well, they apologized, didn't they?" Finland replied, after a brief pause.

"Yeah!" Sealand snapped. _"After _you and Papa showed up!"

Sweden walked up and came to a halt behind Finland. He laid a hand on his 'wife's' shoulder and shook his head.

"Fn'lnd s'tp" he sighed. "H's n't c'min out."

Finland's carefree mask (which had been slipping more and more often since the world meeting) dropped for a moment, and his expression darkened with frustration and rage.

"Why can't everyone just stop overreacting?!" he demanded. "This isn't so bad! Really!"

"I th'nk its t'm to s'tp p'rtnd'in" Sweden told him, patting him lightly on the shoulder.

Sealand's door opened and the young nation poked his head out. He glanced at Finland and nodded his head.

"Papa's right" he said. "Look at us, Mama! We're trapped in our own house!"

Finland stamped his foot and let out a cry of frustration.

"What is WRONG with you lot?!" he demanded. "Why can't you just look at the bright side of things?! Why do you have to be such _DOWNERS?!"_

"...Mama, are you alright?" Sealand gazed at his 'mother' with wide eyes.

"Of COUSE!" Finland snapped, forcing a grin onto his face. "I'm alright! Who told you I wasn't alright? Oh god...I bet it was _Denmark _wasn't it?!"

Sealand and Sweden exchanged looks.

Finland took this as confirmation of his wild theories. "He did, didn't he?!" he cried.

Sweden patted Finland on the shoulder. "Dn'mrk d'nt do ny'thin" he told him, gently.

Finland's eye twitched.

Sealand leaned over to his father and whispered; "Mama's really starting to scare me."

...

Later in the evening, the family of three gathered in the kitchen. Sweden and Sealand sat in silence, staring at Finland as he prepared their dinner.

Finland's brow was furrowed as he worked on chopping up the slab on meat in front of him. He bit his lip, hesitated, and then glanced up. A small smile spread across his face.

"I'm sorry for overreacting before" he murmured. "I guess I'm still a little annoyed at Denmark for fueling on the reporters."

His apology was ruined by the fact that he'd slammed the knife he was holding down on the meat when he'd mentioned Denmark's name.

"...M'be we sh'd go out f'r t'h d'y" Sweden suggested, after a brief pause.

Finland slammed the knife down again; Sealand whimpered.

"Why would you say that?" he asked, still smiling. His eyes were wide and glinted from the lights in the room.

"I th'nk y'r g'ttin c'bin f'ver" Sweden replied, after a brief moment of hesitation.

"Cabin fever?" Finland let out a small laugh (the note of hysteria in it could be heard by all). "Why would you say that?"

The knife came down again; the piece of the chopping board chipped off and then went flying through the air.

"Oh" Finland stared down at the board, his eyes wide, his smile never faltering. "Silly me."

"I'm going upstairs" Sealand muttered, leaping up from his seat and hurrying towards the door.

"Sealand! Sit down - dinner will be ready soon!" Finland whirled around; the knife, still gripped in his hand, was coincidentally pointed in Sealand's direction.

The younger nation paled and slowly moved back to his seat.

Finland went back to chopping up the meat; Sealand leaned towards Sweden.

"So, I watched this movie called 'The Shining' once" he whispered. "...It didn't end well."

Sweden glanced at him. "Y'r p'nt?"

"...I'm saying it's either going to be Mama or us" Sealand replied. Finland, hearing his comment, turned around.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

Sealand stared at the knife with wide eyes.

"...Or we could always hand Uncle Denmark to him" Sealand stuttered. "Wouldn't be too hard to lure him into the house..."

Finland's smile faltered. "Did you say Denmark?" he asked, his grip on the knife tightening.

Sealand squeaked in fear.

...

Romano glared at the wall. Beside him, Spain shot him a sympathetic look. Both nations were completely covered in thick bandages and lying side-by-side on hospital beds. With their rooms being guarded heavily (their bosses had FINALLY decided to be useful) this was the most peace they'd had since the whole ordeal had begun.

That didn't mean Romano had to like it.

"It really isn't that bad..." Spain murmured.

Romano's head jerked violently to the side (he would have pointed but he was currently immobile) over to where a newspaper article had been tackled to the wall.

The headline read; "SOUTH ITALY - SUICIDAL?!"

"I_ knew_ this was going to happen" he growled.

"Well..." Spain hedged. "I didn't get out easily either -"

Romano's head jerked towards another article; "SPAIN AND SOUTH ITALY - ROMEO AND JULIET?!"

Spain leaned forward (or attempted to) looking interested.

"The nation of Spain" he read. "Threw himself off the roof in a fit of despair and hopelessness, after his lover, South Italy, toppled off the roof to his death. Is is a heartbreaking love story hiding in the wings? More information -"

"Stop reading it, bastard!" Romano howled.

"I'm not enjoying this!" Spain protested. "It...it's horrible!"

"Shut up, bastard" Romano scoffed. "You're smiling on the inside."

"...I so am" Spain admitted, a smile breaking across his face.

Romano went back to glaring at the wall.

"I hate the world" he muttered.

...

China raised his head from where it had been buried in his hands for the past hour, and turned to look at Japan.

"Do you think we will be found, aru?" he asked.

"Hopefully not" Japan replied. "I think we managed to lose those reporters, and I do not think that they will come searching for us this deep in the forest -"

China cut him off. "I meant Yong Soo, aru - will he find us?"

"...No" Japan looked slightly irritated at being interrupted.

China's shoulder's slumped in relief. "Thank god, aru" he muttered. "I do not think I can take much more."

Japan walked over and settled down next to the other nation. "Perhaps some green tea will help the stress?" he suggested, ignoring the fact that there was no 'green tea' in the middle of the woods.

"I do not need green tea, aru!" China snapped. "I need Yong Soo's grave!"

"No you do not" Japan replied, slowly. "You might think you do but, in the end, he is our brother and we love him."

"...You do not really believe that, aru?" China stared at him in disbelief.

"No, not really" Japan admitted. "It just seemed like an appropriate thing to say...American movies have really started to influence me."

China scowled. "Stop spending so much time with America, aru!" he grumbled. "He is changing you!"

"...I like America-san" Japan replied, after a brief moment of hesitation. "He is my friend."

China mumbled something. Japan frowned and leaned forward.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I said" China said, in a louder voice. "You are not in a sexual relationship with America, are you, aru?"

Japan paled, looking horrified by the question.

"You can tell me, aru" China continued, ignoring Japan's obvious discomfort. "I will not judge you, despite how much I despise America."

"What would possess you so _SAY _something like that?!" Japan demanded.

"Well, you _do _spend a lot of time with him, aru" China said, frowning slightly. "...You are always at his house late at night -"

"Watching MOVIES!" Japan snapped.

"...You agree with everything he says" China continued.

"He has some very good ideas!"

There was a brief pause.

"...Are you sure that you aren't in a relationship with him, aru?" China asked, at last.

Japan leapt to his feet, his normally calm expression turning into one of rage and indignation.

"Why must you assume that I am sleeping with all my friends?!" he demanded. "Just because I have never been in a relationship, and just because I enjoy the company of naked anime characters on a television screen, more so than I do human contact, does not mean that I am desperate enough to sleep with all my friends! _Why must you demean me so?!"_

"I was only asking, aru!" China snapped. A moment later he looked thoughtful. "And what was that about enjoying the company of anime characters? That might be something we could do together, aru..."

_"I WILL NOT BE WATCHING ANIMATED PORN WITH YOU!"_

Japan went red, horrified by his outburst. He looked around, praying that no reporters had snuck by while he had been distracted.

China looked shocked. "What?!" he cried. "Aru, I never said -"

Japan whirled around to face him once again, once he was satisfied that there were no reporters present.

"What is WRONG with you?!" he demanded.

"I never heard anything about animated porn, aru!" China protested, his eyes wide.

"I asked NAKED anime characters!" Japan yelled. "NAKED!"

"Naked?" China continued to look shocked.

"Do not make me repeat myself!"

"I never heard you say naked, aru!" China wailed.

"I said it! I said it!" Japan snapped.

China stomped his foot and let out a cry of frustration.

"Why must you be so cruel, aru?!" he demanded. "I am only trying to be a good older brother!"

Japan opened his mouth but before he could speak, a familiar voice blared through his ears, freezing both him and China in their tracks.

"There you are, da ze!" Korea ran up to them, grinning widely. "I have been looking for you everywhere! Did I miss anything?"

"Go away, Yong Soo!" China howled. "Japan and I are having a meaningful conversation, aru!"

"Your breasts are mine!" Korea declared.

_"YONG SOOOOOOOOOOOOO -"_

While they were distracted, Japan snuck off into the trees. He needed to escape this insane bunch before he completely lost his mind; he could already feel his composure slipping away little by little.

...

"...And so the press conference as a complete fail. Now we really need to think of a better - Alfred? Are you listening to me?!"

America blinked and glanced up at his boss, who was now glaring at him, looking annoyed.

"What did you say?" he asked, frowning slightly.

"Alfred!"

"What?" America slouched back in his chair. "You say a lot of stuff! How do you expect me to keep track of it all?!"

"We need a plan!" his boss snapped. "We need to do something to fix this situation -"

"Have no fear!" America cut him off; his boss winced slightly, knowing that whatever would come out of his nations mouth would be completely ridiculous and, quite likely, completely impossible. "I have a plan!"

"Alfred" his boss warned. "Be very careful about what you say next -"

"Don't worry, Boss" America waved one hand, dismissively. "It's a really good plan! I've thought about it for a full five minutes!"

His boss winced.

"I think it's time" America paused, for dramatic effect. "For the biggest secret in American history...to be revealed to the _world!"_

His boss groaned.

"They already _know _about you!" he snapped. "How the _hell _is that a solution?!"

"No..." America narrowed his eyes slightly, his expression going completely serious. For a moment, his boss couldn't help but feel slightly hopeful; perhaps America had an actual, working plan. Miracles could happen after all.

At the nations next words, all hopes went down the drain.

"We're breaking into Area 51!"

**...**

**AN:**

**I bet you're thinking: "...America, what the hell are you on about."**

**Remember though; it IS America xD **

**Haha, hope your enjoying the little situation that Finland, Sweden and Sealand (...do their family have an fan name? I have no idea...) have found themselves in xD I never actually planned to make Finland go crazy...it just sort of happened xD Hopefully he'll get his mind back eventually...**

**...Denmark better watch out though! :D**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

There was a moment of silence.

"...How is that going to fix _anything?!" _America's boss demanded at last, staring at America as if he had grown another head.

"Oh, come on boss!" America exclaimed. "Its the perfect plan! We'll reveal to the world that aliens really exist and then, they'll all be so shocked by that, they'll forget all about us!"

"NO!"

"But boss -"

"That's a _horrible _idea" America's boss scowled at him. "Besides, aliens don't exist! Area 51 does not house any aliens -"

"It does too!" America protested. "And aliens do exist - my best friend is an alien!"

For a long moment his boss just stared at him, as if trying to determin whether or not he was being serious. A moment later the man shook his head and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" America questioned.

"Your best friend is not an alien, Alfred" his boss sighed. "Anyway, let's get back to being serious - you are going to be giving a press conference and you are going to make it _good. _Hopefully that will tone things down a bit."

"...But can't we break into area 51?" America pouted slightly and gave his boss puppy dog eyes. "It'd be so much fun!"

"No!"

"Just imagine it!" America pleaded. "We'd make such good partners in crime - can't you just imagine the two of us, creeping through Area 51 with ski masks pulled over our faces, breaking a few aliens out of -"

"No, no, _NO!"_

"Oh come _on!" _America moaned, slouching back in his seat. "It'd be awesome!"

"There is no such thing as aliens!" his boss snapped. "No one is breaking anyone out of anywhere. You're going to be giving a press conference and that is _final!"_

...

"So, thanks you guys. It's cool of you to join me on my misson to break the aliens out of this place."

America grinned at Prussia and Canada; the former looked estatic, and the latter looked utterly miserable.

"I never agreed to this" Canada muttered.

"I was bored" Prussia responded, shrugging his shoulders. "Plus, it sounds kind of awesome...I mean, I might find enough aliens in there to make an army. I could take over the world! How awesome is _that?!"_

"First we need to reveal them to the world though" America reminded him.

"Sure thing."

Canada sighed and kicked at the ground, a scowl stretched across his face. He glanced up at America.

"So" he ground out. "How do you propose we get in?" He glanced up at there current destination; Area 51. Well; they would never even make it one step inside before getting shot down. Yet another one of America's brilliant plans at work (yes; Canada was still bitter about the press conference).

"Huh?" America blinked. "Oh, don't worry about it - I'm _am _America after all."

Canada groaned.

"No seriously" America began to head in the other direction. "I know a back entrance."

The trio ended up at a barbed wire fence. Canada glanced through it and grimaced when he caught sight of a guard; sure, the man was sleeping, but that didnt mean he wouldn't wake up and kick their butts as soon as he woke up and saw them.

America stuck his hand through the fence, creating a hole with little effort. He walked straight through; Prussia followed him. Canada, with some trepadition, also walked through. The trio walked straight past the guard, who didn't stir.

America snickered. "They're so used to the secrecy and the fact that no one ever comes here that you can just walk in and walk out without anyone even realising."

Canada glanced at him oddly. "You've been here before?" he asked.

"Well sure!" America replied, beaming at him. "There was this one time when Tony felt homesick and missed his old stuffed alien, which he had lost in the Roswell crash - by the way dudes, that totally happened, no matter how hard those government dudes try to deny it. Anyway...I broke in here to get it back. They had the thing under high surveillance, but I managed!"

"...So" Canada said, after a moment. "Why are we doing this again?"

"So I can reveal to the world that aliens really do exist!"

"...I thought this was supposed to help us" Canada raised one eyebrow. "How the hell does this help us?"

"Well _duh!" _America responded, rolling his eyes. "The world will be so shocked that aliens exist, they'll put all focus onto them! They'll forget all about us! It's foolproof!"

Canada stared at his brother for a moment; he then walked up to a nearby tree and slammed his head against it repeatedly.

Prussia turned to America. "I thought you already had an alien friend?" he asked. "You know, that Tony guy?"

"Oh yeah" America said, perking up at the mention of his friend. "Well, I thought about using him but then, this is way more fun!"

"...Awesome" Prussia replied, after a moment of consideration.

Canada hit his head again.

Once America and Prussia had managed to manhandle Canada away from the tree, they walked past a couple of other guards. They too were fast asleep; one let out a loud snore as Prussia stepped over him.

"Yeah..." America said, eyeing them. "They're _really _not used to people coming here."

Eventually, they walked into a large building. They ended up in a long corridor with doors positioned in various places. America cocked his head to the side, his eyes scanning the area.

"Sometimes I hear screams coming from this way" he said, pointing in a random direction. "So the aliens are probably kept - _wait" _his eyes widened and he whirled around to face Prussia and Canada. "We forgot to put our ski masks on!"

"For all that is sweet and maple...why did I ever let him drag me here?" Canada moaned.

Prussia on the other hand, looked entirely too eager. How he had ended up there, Canada had no idea; Prussia didn't really share any connection with his brother, other than the fact that they were both idiots. Then again, knowing America, he had probably phoned up every nation he could think of until someone agreed...

Prussia yanked down his ski mask over his face; the word 'AWESOME' was stitched in large letters at the top.

"Awesome mask!" America complimented.

"I know, right?" Prussia grinned.

...

"Su-san? Are you here?"

Finland's voice echoed throughout the house as he wondered around, searching for any sign of life. There was no response; like it had been for the past hour or so, he was met with dead silence.

"Sealand?" he called out. "Where did you go off too? Come on - spend some time with your dear old Mama!"

There was no response.

"Where _is _everyone?!" Finland demanded.

...

'Everyone' (meaning Sweden and Sealand) was currently locked up in Sealand's room, trying to keep as quiet as possible to avoid being discovered by the final member of their family.

"So this is the plan" Sealand whispered. "We're going to call Uncle Denmark and tell him that we all want to become his colonies...he'll come running over because he's an idiot, and also because he'll be all happy and excited. He'll be completely unaware that Mama will be waiting for him...it's perfect!"

"I d'nt th'nk s'" Sweden responded.

"But Papa!" Sealand whined. "We need to do_ something _- Mama's going crazy!"

"Su-san? Sealand?"

Both Sweden and Sealand froze at the sound of Finland's voice, coming from the other side of the door. Once the danger had passed, Sealand turned to Sweden, his eyes wide.

"I really don't hate Uncle Denmark" he said. "But sacrifices need to be made for the greater good!"

"...M'be."

...

Switzerland stared at Liechtenstein, his eyes narrowed.

Liechtenstein gazed back at him, smiling happily.

"So" Switzerland said, at last. "In light of recent events, I think you should know what to do if a human approaches you."

"Whatever you think is best, Big Brother" Liechtenstein replied, gazing at him with adoration shining in her eyes.

"Yes" Switzerland nodded. "So first - if a human does not, by any chance, know who you are, under no circumstance are you allowed to tell him or her, understand?"

"But..." Liechtenstein frowned. "What if they look nice?"

_"No!" _Switzerland snapped. "They may _look _nice but who knows what they are like on the inside?!"

"But -"

"No buts!" Switzerland glared at her. "You are, under no circumstance, to tell anyone who you are. Understand?"

"Yes, Big Brother" Liechtenstein nodded her head. "Can I make you a sandwich?"

"No you may not!" Switzerland snapped. "You may not distract me with treats made of yeasty-goodness!"

"...I only wanted to know if you wanted a sandwich."

"I said no, alright!" turning away from her, Switzerland tapped the blackboard behind him, where an image of a crowd of stick-figures had been drawn. "Alright now - if a group of humans haven't noticed you, what are you going to do?"

Liechtenstein thought for a moment. "...Go and say hello?"

"NO!" Switzerland yelled. "You have two options! One: run in the other direction."

"Got it!" Liechtenstein responded, nodding her head. Switzerland nodded in satisfaction; he continued.

"And two: go up to them and shoot them."

Liechtenstein's eyes widened. Seeing this, Switzerland sighed.

"Or" he amended. "You can simply position your gun against one of their heads and say something along the lines of: 'Feel like a bullet for lunch?!'"

"...Can I ask them if they want a sandwich instead?" Liechtenstein sounded hopeful. "That would be much nicer."

"You aren't trying to be nice!" Switzerland barked. "These people are not your friends - they will devour your soul!"

"But..." Liechtenstein frowned. "They are my citizens..."

Switzerland considered this statement. "Alright, fine" he sighed. "You don't have to shoot them. We'll save the bullets for whenever we next have to enter Austria."

"Thank you, Big Brother!" Liechtenstein replied, beaming widely.

"Alright, so" Switzerland turned back to the blackboard and pointed at a picture of a stick-figure drawing being chased by a mass of stick-figure bodies. "Now that you know what to do with a human who doesn't know who you are, and with a group of humans...what will you do if someone DOES know who you are?"

"Uh..." Liechtenstein frowned. "Run in the other direction...?"

"Good" Switzerland nodded his head. "The original answer was 'fire any and all ammunition' but since that was ruled out..."

"I love you, Big Brother" Liechtenstein smiled.

Switzerland stared at her for a long moment.

"...Moving on" he finally coughed. "What will you do if hoards of people are chasing after you?"

"Well...that happened the other day" Liechtenstein replied. "So...I guess I'll just do what I did then."

"But what if I'm not there?" Switzerland demanded, his eyes narrowed.

Liechtenstein smiled.

"You're always there, Big Brother."

...

"This is boring..." Finland sighed. He was slumped over on the sofa, staring miserably at the wall. He was unaware how long he had been sitting there; time had seemed to blend together; everything was a big blur in his head.

"Sweden and Sealand left me..." he muttered. "They went places...they left me behind...why? Why?! Dammit, why is this house so small...how come I never noticed this house was so small?! I need something to do...why don't I have something to do..."

...

_(Half an hour later...)_

"The wall...is very...nice..."

...

_(Another half hour passes...)_

"Is it white? Or is it cream?" Finland frowned, his eyes glazed over. "Or is it somewhere inbetween?"

...

_(...And yet another half hour...)_

"...I can hear the clock ticking..." Finland let out a loud, hysterical laugh. "Tick...tick...tick..."

...

_(An hour later)_

"Tick...tick..."

...

_(Another hour passes...)_

"...I think it _is _cream..."

Finland stood up. He looked around.

"Su-san?" he called out. "Sealand? Are you here?"

There was no response.

Sighing, Finland slumped back onto the sofa, and went back to staring.

...

_(An hour passes since, as you probably figured, Finland has no life...)_

"...I bet they're with Denmark" Finland muttered, a dark look crossing his face. "Damn Denmark...he's going down...I'm going to get him...Denmark..."

...

_(...You know this is really getting old...)_

"...Denmark really isn't that far away..."

...

_(...Yeah, you know the drill by now...)_

Finland walked out of the house, a crazed grin spread across his face. A butcher's knife was tucked into his pocket; a set of arrows was slung across his back, with the bow carefully tucked away in the flower-printed duffel bag he carried.

Denmark was going to be receiving a surprise visit...

**...**

**AN:**

**...Yup xD Finland is crazy...and so is America. **

**I highly doubt it would be THAT easy to sneak into a secret government facility but then, thats the joy of a humor!fic. Also, it IS hetalia xD**

**If anyone has any requests for characters they would like to see in this fic, or characters they would like to see more of, feel free to mention it to me. Also, if you have any ideas or suggestions, they would be very welcome :D**

**I've also recently posted out a oneshot named: "The Matchmaking Catastrophe." To explain the fic in a few words...well, lets just say, Prussia should NEVER start up a matchmaking business. Ever. Not if all the Hetalia pairings out there wish to survive...xD**

**Anyway, that fic is on my profile if you'd like to check it out :D**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

Denmark was seriously bored.

Ever since they had been revealed to the world, things had been _crazy. _He'd been stuck in his house for days, with no way to get out because of the swarm of reporters waiting for him outside. Eventually he'd managed to make it to Norway's house...not that it was much better. Norway had spent most of his time locked in his room, doing who-knows-what, and Denmark had been stuck downstairs, watching cartoons on the television and gouging himself with chocolate.

Norway had gone off to some press conference, or something like that...Denmark wasn't sure. He'd been too busy staring at the television screen to really pay attention to what his friend had been saying.

"...I wonder if Norway has any more chocolate..." he muttered to himself and stood up, prepared to go and raid the kitchen.

At that moment there was a loud _'BANG!' _and the door slammed open.

Denmark's eyes widened in panic and his head jerked towards the doorway. His initial thoughts had been that a reporter had managed to get inside the house - something that would have _completely sucked, _because Denmark just wasn't in the mood to deal with that stuff at the moment.

Instead, standing in the doorway and smiling at him was...Finland.

"Finland?" he said, sounding surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Finland's smile widened and he let out a small laugh. "Oh, _Denmark..." _he purred.

"...Okay seriously, that's just creepy" Denmark muttered. He walked up to the other nordic nation and stood in front of him, his eyebrows raised. "What? Did you get sick of old Sweden? I can completely understand that - want some chocolate? I was about to go and find some..." his voice trailed of and his eyes widened in horror.

"Finland..." he choked, after a brief pause. "What...are you doing with those arrows?! Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you?! What -"

An arrow sailed past his ear and slammed into the sofa. Denmark let out a shriek of fear and dashed behind it.

_"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" _he howled.

Finland lowered his bow and stalked forward, a deadly expression on his face. He stood in front of Denmark - who had curled himself up on the floor, his arms wrapped tightly around himself - and glared at him in disgust.

"You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?" Finland spat. "All those damn reporters...asking me if I'm having an affair with Su-san...looking through our windows...taking pictures..."

"It slipped out!" Denmark cried. "Besides! That stuff would have happened anyway, even if I hadn't -"

Another arrow sailed past him, narrowly missing his shoulder.

"SHUT UP!" Finland howled. "I NEED SOMEONE TO BLAME, _DAMMIT!"_

Denmark let out a girlish shriek and dashed out of the house as fast as his legs would carry him.

...

So far, this conference was proving to be a piece of cake. Norway didn't understand what the other countries were complaining about; sure the current situation was less than satisfactory, but it was something that could easily be fixed if everyone stopped acting like such _imbeciles._

Norway had considered going to the meeting that Germany had set up a few days ago...but then he had thought, _nah. _After all, he already had to deal with one idiot, ever since Denmark had decided that it would be a good idea to show up at his house. He didn't want to deal with anymore.

A question was fired his way from a nearby reporter, and Norway replied with a simple 'yes.' That was his method; answer with a simple 'yes' or 'no.' Don't give the vultures anything they can turn against you...

_"NORWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"_

Norway sat up abruptly, his eyes flying open with alarm. No...it couldn't be. He wouldn't have the nerve...

Denmark sprinted up to him and threw himself behind him, using him as a shield from...something.

"Denmark" he snarled, as the reporters all whispered and pointed. Great - now they had something to use against him. "I thought I told you to wait in the house!"

Norway's eyes drifted over to where his boss had been standing; the man looked downright furious. Beside him, the security that had been sent over to oversee the conference was shuffling uncertainly, obviously unsure of whether they should act or not. They obviously regonized Denmark as a nation.

"Norge" Denmark whispered, and the muscle in Norway's jaw twitched at the use of the nickname. "You gotta help me - Finland's gone crazy!"

Norway's jaw clenched. "What are you _talking _about -"

"COME HERE DENMARK - COME BACK TO FINNY!"

Norway jumped in alarm; many of the reporters followed in suit. Denmark let out a shriek of terror.

"Was that _Finland?!" _Norway demanded. A moment later he was given an answer, with the arrival of the other nation. Finland was breathing heavily and staring at Denmark with a crazed smile spread across his face; a bow was tightly clutched in his hands, with a set of arrows slung onto his back.

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?!" Denmark wailed, clutching onto Norway.

An arrow sailed past their heads, narrowly missing Denmark. Denmark screamed and ducked down; all the reporters let out cries of panic as they stared at Finland in fear (sadly enough, quite a few of them looked eager at the possibility of a new story - after all, how good would "FINLAND GONE CRAZY!" look on paper?).

Norway stood up.

"Finland? What the hell is the matter with you?" he demanded.

The deadly look on Finland's expression disappeared immediately, replaced by a look of intense happiness.

"Hi Norway!" he exclaimed, sounding slightly breathless. His eyes flickered over to where Denmark was hiding and his expression immediately changed back to his previous one. "Denmark..."

Denmark squeaked in fear.

"Finny wants revenge..." Finland breathed, his eyes glinting slightly. "Finny wants sweet revenge..."

"See!" Denmark sobbed.

"What did you_ do?!"_ Norway demanded, his voice incredulous. His mind was whirring; what the _hell _had Denmark gone and done to turn the normally sweet, cheerful nation into..._this?!_

"Nothing!" Denmark protested. "I haven't done anything!"

Murmurs spread across the crowd of reporters; many were copying down notes. Some were taking pictures. Norway's eyes once again drifted over to his boss, who was whispering to the security guards standing near him.

"Don't worry" Norway called out to them, before they could head over. "It's just Finland - he's harmless -"

At that exact moment, an arrow hit Denmark in the arm.

"OW!" he howled, his face screwing up in pain.

"...Or not" with a cautious glance in Finland's direction - who looked estatic that he had caused Denmark pain - Norway headed over to Denmark and, without a moment of hesitation, yanked the arrow out of his friends arm.

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

"Oh, stop screaming" Norway scowled. "It's just a flesh wound."

"FINNY LIKES!" Finland let out a shriek of excitement and clapped his hands. "FINNY LIKES VERY MUCH!"

"Finland!" Norway whirled around and scowled at the other nation. "Go home for godsake, you sound like a maniac! You're just embarrassing yourself!"

"Why is Norway being so mean?" Finland demanded, his voice wobbling slightly. His eyes narrowed and a scowl stretched across his face.

"If you even THINK about shooting an arrow at me..." Norway warned.

There was the sound of heavy panting, and Sealand came running up to them.

"Did I miss anything?!" he asked, struggling to catch his breath.

"Seriously" Norway's boss said, frowning as he observed the scene. "I think this should be dealt with..."

The security guards took a step forward.

"It's fine" Norway responded, sounding irritated. "I've been dealing with these idiots all my life."

He turned to Sealand.

"Why are you here and why is Finland acting like a psychopath?"

Sealand beamed. "Hi Uncle Norway!" he exclaimed. "Why is Uncle Denmark crying?"

Norway glanced over at Denmark, who was balling his eyes out in large, hysterical sobs. He turned back to Sealand and shrugged his shoulders.

"Ignore him - what happened to Finland?"

"C'bn f'vr."

Norway looked up, surprised at the sound of Sweden's voice. The other nation had arrived sometime after Sealand and now stood to the side, observing the current ongoings with his usual blank expression.

"Yeah!" Sealand agreed, nodding his head. "He spent too much time indoors and went crazy!"

"Is everyone forgetting about the psychopath trying to kill me?!" Denmark shrieked. They all turned to face Finland, who was in the process of loading another arrow onto his bow.

With a small sigh, Sweden walked over and picked up Finland, swinging him over his shoulder in one fluid motion.

"I'll t'k h'm b'ck" he told them.

Norway's eyes drifted over to the over-excited crowd of reporters and to the enraged face of his boss. His shoulders slumped; this was going to be hard to deal with.

Iceland chose that moment to show up.

"Norway!" he cried, panting as he came to stand in front of his brother. "I tried to keep Sweden and Sealand away from the conference, but they just -" his voice cut off and he stared at Finland in surprise. "...Finland? What's going on?"

...

Ukraine was in a terrible mood; who wouldn't be, after finding out that the majority of your country thought that you had gotten a boob job sometime in your life? A woman had even come up to her on the street, asking her where she had gotten her "amazing assets done" and Ukraine, in an effort to keep up her reputation of being a sweet, motherly person, hadn't even been able to insult her.

Now she had to go and speak to her sister, as requested from her brother. She'd love to just go home and ignore everything but...Russia had pleaded with her. And he didn't plead often. It just showed how desperate he was, and Ukraine didn't blame him. Anyway, sometime in the future, if her brother ever decided to declare war on the world, maybe this little nice deed would work in her favour...

She knocked on the door in front of her. When she received no response, she tried the door handle; the door swung open.

She walked inside and immediately caught sight of her younger sister, sitting on a chair across the room and scribbling furiously onto a notepad.

Belarus' head snapped up and she glared, viciously. "What do you want?!" she demanded.

"I need to talk to you" Ukraine told her.

"Go away!" Belarus snapped. "I don't have time to talk to you! I'm busy!"

Walking over, Ukraine pried the notepad out of her sister's firm grip, and glanced down at it. Her brow furrowed as she read the words that headed the page; "ONE WITH RUSSIA!"

"...This is what I need to talk to you about."

"It's my new group" Belarus told her, pride oozing through her voice. "It's called 'One With Russia' ...it's going to help me conquer Big Brother's heart!"

"I know, Belarus" Ukraine sighed.

Belarus perked up. "You mean news of my noble work had begun to spread throughout other countries?"

Ukraine handed the notepad back to her sister, shaking her head. "No, Belarus" she replied, trying to hide the exaperation in her voice. "Russia asked me to come and speak to you. He heard rumours of this and begged me to come and find out whether or not it was true."

"Well, of course it's true!" Belarus exclaimed. "This group will help me marry Big Brother, once and for all!"

Ukraine closed her eyes and mentally imagined slamming her head on a tree a few dozen times. She opened her eyes a moment later, and smiled gently at her younger sister.

"Belarus, stop this" she sighed. "You are only embarrassing yourself - people are talking!"

"Excellent!" Belaus crowed, her face lighting up with delight. "I'll get more publicity that way!"

"Belarus -"

"Now, go away" Belarus went back to scribbling on her notepad. "I'm working on a logo...Ukraine, you know how to sew, don't you? Do you think you could make me a few uniforms for my followers?"

"No!" Ukraine snapped. "This is _ridiculous!"_

Belarus' head snapped up and she glared coldly at her older sister. Her expression promised intense pain and suffering in the future.

A few moments later Ukraine was lying on the ground outside, with Belarus towering over her.

"Now make me my uniforms or I will declare war on you!" she snarled, before storming back into the house, and slamming the door behind her.

"...I am really not having a good day..." Ukraine sighed.

...

Japan, for the past five minutes, had been staring at the same spot in utter horror.

Why did the world seem to hate him? Why was everything working against him - why couldn't he end up the lucky one, just for _once?!_

He had been wondering through the forest, trying to put as much distance between him and his brothers as possible, when he had caught sight of the woman, hurrying through the woods with her phone in her hand. A video had been playing on her phone and, from the brief snippets he could hear from whatever had been filmed, it had sounded very familiar.

Very, _very _familiar.

...A few moments later he had realized that he'd been listening to the conversation shared between him and China, only moments before.

He'd almost cried.

"Why?" he moaned. He'd been so _certain _that no one had been in the area...how had he missed that woman, standing somewhere nearby and recording them?! And why on _earth _had she been this deep in the woods anyway?!

With a quiet mutter of "why is my life so shit?" Japan headed back to where China and Korea were.

"Where were you, aru?!" China demanded, when Japan finally managed to find them.

"Wherever you were, it originated in Korea!" Korea declared, beaming widely.

"Shut _up _Yong Soo!" China spat. "We are in China!"

"China originated in Korea!"

"How does that make any sense, aru?!"

"Would both of you shut up?!" Japan snapped. "I think someone has been filming us!"

"...No, aru!" China wailed, his expression turning distressed. "Did she film Yong Soo?! Yong Soo, why must you continue to ruin my good name?!"

"Who _cares _about that, you _idiot!" _Japan snarled. "She could have heard out earlier conversation!" his eyes widened in panic. "No! She could know that I like watching naked anime!"

China frowned. "I still think you never said naked, aru."

_"I SAID IT!" _Japan howled.

**...**

**AN:**

**So...Finland is...completely gone...xD Lets just hope he manages to go back to being his sweet, lovable self soon :D**

**Belarus is back and will probably be getting her own little storyline in this (since you can probably tell, there is many little storylines for each of the characters in this - Finland and his insanity, America breaking into Area 51...)**

**...Speaking of which, America, Prussia and Canada will be back in the next chapter! :D**

**Review and tell me what you think of this chapter :D**


	12. Chapter 12

Romano flung down the newspaper and let out a howl of rage. Spain glanced up at him, his expression curious.

"What?" he asked.

"I can't take it anymore!" Romano howled. "I am getting _fucking _sick and tired of all these bastards claiming that we're a couple!"

Spain smiled, dreamily. "To me, it's a dream come true."

"SHUT UP!" Romano snarled. "It's you talking that way, that got us into this mess in the first place!"

"...No. Actually, it was me throwing myself off the roof."

"Whatever!" Romano glared viciously at him. "It's still your fault! Goddammit...I'm going to watch some tv."

Turning away from Spain, Romano reached for the remote and turned the television on. The screen flashed to life and, when he saw what was going on tv, he immediately cheered up.

"Just what I need!" he sighed. "And a new episode too!"

"Soap operas?" Spain snorted, taking a seat next to Romano. "Really?"

"Oh shut up" Romano grumbled.

The scene on the screen was a classic sappy-romantic moment. A busty woman had her arms wound tightly around a man in front of her, and was rambling on about how much she loved him.

"I love you so much!" the woman declared, batting her ridiculously long eyelashes. "You are the umbrella to my rainy day! -"

"Ahh..." Romano smiled widely. "Isn't this awesome?"

" - The sand to my beach -"

"Isn't this just the best show _ever?!" _Spain frowned over at Romano and shook his head slightly.

" - The Spain to my South Italy -"

_"WHAT?!"_

"Wow!" gasped Spain, his eyes widening. "We're becoming national icons of love!"

...

Lithuania woke up to the feeling of something being dabbed onto his face. His eyes snapped open and he stared up, his eyes widening in horror when he caught sight of the tube of lipstick, inching closer and closer to his face.

"What are you doing?!" he cried, hysterically.

"Like, calm down, Liet" Poland said, smearing the lipstick across Lithuania's lips, despite his struggles. "I'm like, only helping you put on your disguise."

_"What _disguise?!" Lithuania demanded. "Also, _how _did you find makeup?! There wasn't any makeup in here!"

"I like, always carry around makeup" Poland set down the tube. He picked up something from the floor and took a bite from it - a cookie.

"Where did you get _that _from?"

"You mean this?" Poland held up the cookie. "I found that in your kitchen."

Lithuania stared at him. "...Poland, we've been stuck in this closet for the past few days."

"Yeah..." Poland coughed and glanced to the door, awkwardly. "I hope you didn't like that door too much."

Lithuania's eyes widened in horror when he caught sight of the _massive _hole positioned in the middle of his closet door.

"POLAND!"

"Well I'm like, sorry!" Poland cried, defensively. "You like, kept sleeping and acting all boring, and I was like, really hungry, and -"

"Why didn't you do this sooner?!"

Poland stopped rambling and stared at him.

"...Liet, you like, get angry over the weirdest things" he said, at last.

...

As they walked out of the forest, Japan continued to adamantly rant out his claims.

"I'm telling you, there was a woman in the woods, filming us!" he cried. "She probably heard our entire conversation!"

"Well..." China frowned. "There isn't much we can do about it, aru."

"Easy for you to say!" Japan shot back. _"You _aren't the one who everyone will accuse of being an..._anime pervert!"_

"...I do not think that is a real thing, aru."

_"Shut up!" _

"Calm down, aru!" China cried, holding up his hands in a defensive motion. "You are getting angry over nothing!"

_"Nothing?!" _Japan stared at him in disbelief. "How is this _nothing?! _This -"

"Nothing originated in Korea!"

Korea had now re-entered the conversation, much to China's horror.

"Shut up, Yong Soo!" he snarled. "Once again, you are making no sense!"

"No sense -"

China cut Korea off. "Don't you DARE finish that sentence, aru!"

Japan let out a loud gasp, cutting off any further argument. Both Korea and China turned to stare at him.

"What?" China asked.

"That woman!" they had now reached a small street, adjacent to the woods; Japan pointed over to a nearby house, where a woman was fiddling around in the garden.

"What about her?" China sounded confused.

"That is the woman I saw in the woods!"

"What?" China's eyes widened. "That one? She is the woman - Yong Soo!" forgetting what he had been previously saying, China whirled around to glare at Korea. "Stop touching me!"

"Your boobs are mine, da ze!" Korea exclaimed.

_"I am not a woman!"_

"Focus!" Japan snapped. "That woman over there," he pointed down the street. "Filmed us. We need...we need to get that phone!"

"Phone's originated in Korea!" Korea declared.

"They did not, aru!"

"Shut up!" Japan looked ready to resort to physical violence if need be; both China and Korea quietened down. "We need to get that phone from her, before she shows the video to anyone! No one can know about...my secret."

China frowned. "You have strange fetishes, aru."

Korea smiled at China. "Your boobs are mine, da ze!"

This time, it was Japan who yelled at him. "Stop talking!" he snapped. "You talking will only make China talk more - and that will just make me _angry!"_

"You are a horrible brother, aru!" China cried. "I only try to be a good older brother but you never give me a chance!"

"I like you!" Korea cried.

"I hate you, aru!" China shot back.

"We need to get that phone!" Japan stared in desperation towards the woman, in time to see her step into the house and close the door behind her. "...I wonder if she lives in there..."

"It originated in Korea!"

China frowned at Japan. "What are you thinking, aru?" he asked.

Ignoring him, Japan continued to stare at the house, as if in a daze.

"...If America-san can do crazy things all of the time, why can't I for once?"

China's eyes widened in disbelief. "Again with America!" he cried. "Are you sure that you two aren't in a relationship?"

Japan's expression darkened. "I told you!" he snarled. "I am not desperate enough to sleep with all of my friends! Stop demeaning me!"

"I wasn't, aru!" China cried, defensively. "You are jumping to conclusions!"

"You _ARE!" _

"Japan -"

"Japan originated in Korea!" Both China and Japan turned to glare at Korea, who simply smiled in return.

"STOP SAYING THESE THINGS, YONG SOO!" China yelled, stamping his foot in rage. "THEY MAKE NO SENSE!"

"We need to get that phone..." Japan's mind once again drew to thought about the object. "She has the phone...it will either be with her, or in the house somewhere. If it's in the house...maybe we can get it...maybe all hope is not lost..."

"How, aru?" China frowned. "It is not like she would just hand it over."

Korea smiled. "Japan wants us to break in!"

"Don't be stupid, Yong Soo!" China snapped, glaring at him. "Japan isn't _you! _He wouldn't do something so _idiotic -"_

"Alright so" Ignoring China, Japan turned to Korea. "You make a distraction, and China and I will sneak through that window and get the phone."

...

Lithuania glared at the woman staring back at him.

Of course, he was looking into a mirror.

And of course, the 'woman' was him.

"Poland, I cannot believe you put this on my face while I was sleeping!" he cried.

"You like, wouldn't have let me do it otherwise" Poland pointed out.

"For good reason!" Lithuania stared viciously at the dark circles of rouge on his cheeks, and his black-lined eyes. "I'll never get all of this stupid mascara off!"

"Like, keep it on" Poland told him. "You look like, totally squeal-worthy."

"I don't want to look like a woman!"

Poland shook his head at him. "Trust me, you need to like, look like a woman" he said. "We like, need good disguises if we ever want to like, make it out alive."

"Why do we need to get out?!" Lithuania glanced out of a nearby window; he could see a crowd of reporters. It was smaller than the one that had invaded his house a few days ago, but they were still _there. _"Why can't we just stay in here, where it's safe and warm?"

Poland looked slightly incredulous at this. "Liet...you do like, remember why we were like, hiding in a closet for days, right?"

Lithuania stared at him for a moment.

"...I refuse to wear a skirt though."

...

"Like, strut Liet!"

Lithuania's cheeks burned bright red; as Poland marched in front of him, acting as if he were a model on a catwalk, Lithuania scurried behind, wishing he was invisible.

"I'm not strutting!" he snapped. "This is humiliating - I cannot _believe _you forced me into a skirt! Why was there even a skirt in my room?!"

"I'll like, tell you later" Poland replied.

The two nations stepped out of the house; Lithuania gazed around, his eyes wide and nervous.

"Do you think they will regonise us?" he asked.

"Hey!" cried one of the reporters, catching sight of them. "I think it's - wait, who the hell are those guys?!"

Poland grinned at Lithuania. "I like, told you it would totally work."

Another reporter glared at them. "Why the hell were you in Lithuania's house?!" she demanded.

Lithuania looked nervous. "What do I say?" he whispered to Poland.

"Like, don't say anything" Poland replied. "Where do you like, keep your car?"

At this, Lithuania's eyes widened. "Poland!" he cried. "We aren't taking my car!"

"Well like, how else do you expect to get anywhere?" Poland rolled his eyes. "Also, don't call me Poland! In woman-form I'm like, _Felka."_

"...Felka?"

Poland grinned. "Exactly, _Lietta."_

_"...LIETTA?!"_

"Why were you ladies in Lithuania's home?" a male reporter asked, interrupting their conversation.

"Who do they think they are?" muttered the female reporter who had previously spoken.

"You don't think they're...sleeping with the nations, do you?"

The female reporters eyes widened. "Oh my!" she gasped, no longer sounding annoyed. "What a story!"

"No, no!" Lithuania's eyes widened in horror. "Poland, do something!"

_"Felka" _Poland corrected. "And like, don't worry, I've totally got a good cover story."

He turned to the reporters.

"HEY REPORTER-PEOPLE!" he yelled. "WE'RE LIKE, TOTALLY HOOKERS!"

"HOW IS THAT GOING TO FIX _ANYTHING?!" _Lithuania howled.

Gasps of shock and excitement rang throughout the small crowd of reporters. While they were distracted, Poland and Lithuania made a run for it.

"I can't believe you!" Lithuania snarled, once they had made it a far distance away. "Now they think we are sleeping with..._us!"_

"I know, right?" Poland grinned. "It's like, totally squeal-worthy!"

"NO Poland! It _ISN'T!"_

"Like, it's _Felka."_

"Oh, shut up" Lithuania snapped. "The reporters are gone."

The two nations headed over to where Lithuania's car had been parked; Poland immediately climbed into the drivers seat.

"What are you doing?!" Lithuania demanded. "You aren't driving my car!"

Poland rolled his eyes. "Just like, get into the car Liet."

Lithuania scowled and stood still for a moment. There was a sudden jumble of voices, belonging from the reporters crowded around the house. Lithuania jumped and let out a yelp of alarm, before quickly climbing into the car.

"Where are we going?" he asked, glancing nervously out of the window, as if expecting to be mobbed by reporters at any moment.

"Hmm...I like, don't know" Poland murmured. "I like, didn't think that far..."

"Do you ever?" Lithuania muttered.

"I like, know!" Poland perked up. "We'll like, go and pick up your uncool brothers!"

"...Estonia and Latvia?"

"Like, yeah!" Poland grinned and nodded his head. "How like, cool is this going to be? It'll be like, a road trip! Fun for everyone!"

"...Except for the fact that we're being stalked by reporters."

"Yeah like, except for that."

**...**

**AN:**

**Okay, know I said America, Canada and Prussia would be in this chapter but yeah...that didn't end up happening xD**

**They will DEFINITELY be in the next one though!**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter :D Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favourited this! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

"And so, then I was like -" America's voice cut of abruptly, and he frowned. "Hey...someone's coming!"

Prussia and America quickly ducked behind a nearby corner; Canada didn't make any move to leave, continuing to sit still, and hate the world in general.

A guard walked past, and Prussia and America stood as still as possible; Canada simply glared at the guard as he passed by.

The guard paused for a moment and stared down at Canada, blinking uncomprehendingly.

"I could have sworn..." He shook his head and then continued on his way.

As soon as he was gone, Prussia and America returned to their previous spot.

"So where was I?" America questioned. "Oh yeah! So then, Iggy was like -"

Canada glared at him. "Are we going to get on with this?"

"Shut up, invisible guy!" Prussia snapped. "America's not done yet! And after that, the awesome me has a story to tell!"

Canada stared at him. "...I thought we were supposed to be breaking an alien out of here?"

"Huh?" America blinked. "Oh yeah...we'll do that in a second."

...

Russia stared at Ukraine, his eyes wide and desperate.

"Did you speak to her?" he demanded, struggling to keep himself from screaming. "Did you speak to Belarus?"

Ukraine, who had been hurriedly stitching a garment together, paused her work and glared up at her brother.

"Ukraine?" Russia stared at his sister. "What happened?"

"Go away," Ukraine snapped. She returned back to her previous activity.

"What are you doing?" Russia questioned.

"Making uniforms," was the stiff answer he received.

"...For?"

Ukraine dropped the needle and material she had been holding, and glared viciously at her brother.

"For Belarus!" she snapped. "And I blame you!"

Russia looked utterly confused by his sister's response, and by her odd behaviour. After all, Ukraine wasn't one to get angry for no reason - especially not at him.

"What did I do?" he asked. "And what do you mean 'for Belarus'?"

"She told me if I didn't make these for her, she would declare war on my country!" Ukraine went back to sewing.

"...What are those uniforms for?" Russia dreaded the answer.

Ukraine's brow furrowed in frustration. "Please leave, Russia," she sighed.

"Ukraine," Russia growled, his usual menacing aura returning. "If you do not tell me, _I _will declare war on your country."

"Is this what I get?!" Ukraine's eyes flashed with indignation. "After I looked after you and Belarus, and showered you both with love and motherly devotion..._this _is what I get?! Declarations of _war?!"_

_"UKRAINE!"_

"Fine!" she snapped. "Belarus has started up a new group - she calls it 'One With Russia'. I don't think I have to explain things to you - the name tells you enough."

Russia stared at her in horror. "You are joking...da?"

"I wish I was," Ukraine replied, stiffly.

"But...no!" Russia shook his head in denial. "She cannot do that! Doesn't she realize that she is humiliating her country by doing this? My country will not stand for this!"

"Yes," Ukraine snorted. "Because they have been doing _so much _since they discovered Belarus' obsession with you." She shook her head. "Face it Russia - they care for nothing other than the gossip."

Russia shook his head in denial. "No -"

Ukraine narrowed her eyes. "I think you should leave now," she told him. "I need to finish these uniforms before Belarus comes after me." A moment later, she paused. "Also - Russia?"

Russia looked at her, curiously. "Yes?"

"Do you mind spreading the word that my breasts are _not _fake?"

Russia, looking disturbed, nodded his head.

...

America's phone rang.

"Can we _please _just go now?" Canada pleaded, as America fumbled around for his phone. "We've been in this same spot for the past -"

"Shut up, invisible guy," Prussia cut him off.

"Hey boss!" America greeted, once he had answered his phone.

"Alfred," said his boss, "I said I wanted to see you, to talk about the conference!"

"Sorry boss," America replied. "I'm busy breaking into Area 51, with Mattie and Prussia."

His boss simply snorted. "Sure you are."

...

Eventually they did manage to get a move on - after that, it was only a matter of minutes before they found what they were looking for.

"Hey - here we are!" America exclaimed. "The aliens!"

"I can't believe it," Canada muttered, looking around incredulously. In front of them were rows and rows of locked prison cells - and in them...well...

...They'd definitely found their aliens.

"This is awesome!" Prussia looked around the room, grinning widely. "There's enough in here for me to make a _fucking awesome _army!"

"We have plans for them first," America reminded him.

"Yeah..." Prussia didn't seem deterred by this. "But _then..."_

America smiled. "Then you can have you fun."

"Awesome!"

"So what...?" Canada frowned slightly, looking unsure. "We just...pick one?"

"Yeah!" America nodded his head. "The best one, of course!"

Walking over to a nearby cell, he peered inside. A moment later he shook his head, and walked away.

"Not that one," he said. "He looks like a pussy."

Prussia glanced into the cell, and then nodded in agreement. "Oh yeah, totally."

Canada stared. "They...all look exactly the same."

"Nah, of course not!" America cried. "They're all unique!"

He walked up to another cell and then glanced inside. "Nah," he said, shaking his head. "That one's too small."

Prussia glanced into another cell. "Too large."

America peered into the next cell. "Too big teeth."

Prussia squinted slightly at another alien. "Too blue eyes."

"Too creepy," America muttered, as he glanced at another one.

"Too awesome..." Prussia scowled slightly. _"NO ONE _can be more awesome than me!"

America stared at an alien who shared a disturbing resemblance to France. "Too perverted..."

_"Oh hon hon hon," _laughed the alien.

The three nations all simultaneously shuddered.

"Too spiky," Prussia said, moving to the next cage.

"Too...boring..."

"Too dead," Prussia frowned into one of the cages. "Wait, no, he really is dead."

America stared at one alien, who stared back with a disturbing look in it's eyes.

"Too Hannibal-Lector-like."

"This is ridiculous guys!" Canada hadn't moved an inch since he'd walked into the room. "Just pick one and let's go!"

"Oh!" America's face suddenly lit up, as he stared into another cell. "I want her! She's awesome - she looks just like Tony!"

Canada wandered over and stared at the alien in question. He frowned slightly.

"How do you know she's a girl?" he asked.

America shrugged. "I don't," he said. "I just think it would be col to have an alien-chick."

"I'll except chicks into my army," Prussia said, nodding his head.

Canada raised his eyebrows, yet didn't say anything.

"Let's let her out!" Grinning, America reached for the bars of the cell. In one single moment, he had ripped a perfect hole in the center of the cell.

"America, wait!" Canada cried. "How do you know it's safe? I mean, there's a reason they keep them locked up!"

Ignoring Canada, America reached in and grasped the alien by the arm. He pulled it (or, in his opinion, 'her') out.

"America!"

America snorted. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"...I don't think that's meant to be happening..."

America and Canada turned around, confused by Prussia's statement. Their eyes widened in horror at what they saw.

The alien...well, it didn't look as innocent as it had previously. In fact, it looked murderous. Also...

...Was it _growing?!_

The alien took a step forward, it's eyes flashing dangerously.

"..._RUN!"_

The three nations took of running through the doors.

...

"I can't believe it..." England shook his head, looking disbelieving. "In this short amount of time, they've created a _magazine _about us?!"

"It's only to be expected..." France shrugged his shoulders. "What did they say about me?"

England glared at him. "Shut up you fool!" he snarled. "Stop looking so bloody eager! This isn't a good thing!"

France smirked slightly. "You are just bitter that the world believes that you are having an affair with Amerique and mon Mattieu."

England looked horrified. "They are my brothers!"

"That would not stop me...oh _hon hon hon..."_

"You perverted frog!"

France reached out, and tried to pry the magazine out of England's hands. "Tell me what they said about me!"

"Ahh! Fine!" England flicked the page; his eyes flickered around, scanning it thoroughly.

"...Apparently you were once a woman."

"What?" France's eyes widened. "They said that?"

England nodded. "Yes...I quote; _'The Nation of France, who now appears to be a man, was once a proud and upstanding female...'_" He snorted. "Proud and upstanding. What bullshit."

France frowned slightly. "How would they know what I once was?"

"That's irrelevant!" England exclaimed. "You were never a woman!"

France raised one eyebrow. "And how would you know that?"

"...Well, you weren't, were you?" England sat still, frozen.

France snorted. "Of course not! I am, however, flattered that they think so highly of my godly features." He fluffed his hair.

England scowled. "They didn't say anything about you being a 'good looking' female..."

"It was implied, of course," France replied.

England snorted. "Of course."

France reached out and grabbed the book out of England's grasp. He flicked through it, his eyes scanning the pages.

"Hmm..." France's brow furrowed. "What is this about Amerique being a child beater?"

_"What?" _

"Yes..." France continued to scan the page. "Apparently a woman claims that she heard him say, _"I'm gong to grab that kid and throw him through a window, and listen to his screams,"_ while at McDonalds."

"...That never happened." England looked slightly disbelieving.

"Well of course not," France replied. He glanced down. "Hmm..."

"What now?" England groaned.

"Apparently Canada is a ghost, haunting this earth."

England blinked. "...What?"

"Don't ask," France responded. He flicked to the next page. His eyes widened.

"Oh my!"

England leaned forward, looking curious despite himself. "What?" he asked.

"...Finland and Sweden have been hiding a secret affair from us all!"

England scowled slightly. "No, they haven't been!" he snapped. "Everyone is aware of their relationship!"

France snorted. "Not according to Denmark."

"Oh..." England frowned. "Alright..."

"Yes," France nodded. "Oh, and look at this. Apparently Ukraine has breast implants."

England's eyes widened. "I knew they were too big to be real!"

"Yes," France agreed, "and Belarus dabbles with incest."

"Of course, of course," England replied, rolling his eyes. "We all knew that."

France glance down at the page; his eye brows raised. "What is this?" he murmured. In a louder voice, he said; "Apparently Poland and Lithuania are sharing secret affairs with hookers...isn't that interesting?"

"It probably isn't even true," England snorted.

"No." France shook his head. "They included pictures."

England glanced at the page. "...Thats them."

"Hmm...so it is." France thought for a moment. "Kinky."

...

_"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" _Canada screamed, struggling to breathe as he ran, his legs pumping as hard as they could in an attempt to get away from the..._thing _that was chasing them.

_"YOU CAN'T BLAME THIS ALL ON ME!" _America screamed back. _"YOU NEVER TRIED TO STOP US!"_

Canada's response was a simple howl of, _"I HATE YOU!"_

_"THIS IS KIND OF AWESOME!"_

No surprise, that statement belonged to Prussia

_"SHUT UP PRUSSIA!" _America and Canada both screamed at the same time.

The three nations ran straight past the duo of guards that they had passed earlier on in their journey. The guards both let out loud snorts, and then went back to sleeping, undisturbed by the chaos going on around them.

"...Yeah," America coughed. "Someone really needs to replace those guys."

...

Somehow, they managed to make it back to America's house in one piece (they'd also somehow managed to make it back without being seen).

"Get inside!" America cried, gesturing furiously towards his two fellow nations. Prussia dashed into the house; Canada followed close behind but before he could, the door slammed in his face.

"America!" he howled, pounding on the door. "Open up, I'm still out here!"

He turned around, his eyes widening with panic as he caught sight of the alien, getting closer and closer with each step.

_"AMERICA!"_

The door opened.

"Oh, sorry Mattie!" America apologized, poking his head outside. "I kind of forgot about you - didn't even realize you weren't there -"

Canada shoved past him and ran into the house.

"I hate you," he spat, once America had bolted the door shut. "I _hate you."_

"Well then," Prussia said, struggling to gain his breath. "I guess that's done. Too bad...she would have been perfect to reveal to the world."

"She would have _destroyed _the whole world!" Canada snapped. "We're lucky we got out of that alive!"

The door burst open.

"...You really shouldn't have said that, Mattie," America choked, backing away. "You know what they say about jinxing things..."

The alien growled and took a menacing step forward; all three of them screamed.

"We're going to die!" Prussia howled. "This is so not awesome!"

"So...beautiful..."

At the sight of a newcomer into the room, Prussia screamed again.

...

Minutes later, Prussia was still screaming.

"It's okay," America assured him. "That's just Tony, my best friend."

"America!" Canada snapped. "Take a look at that _thing _standing in your doorway, and tell me that everything's 'okay'!"

"So beautiful..." Tony took a step forward. "She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen..."

"Aww, that's adorable!" America exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across his alien growled; he squeaked with fear.

"Maybe we should leave?" Canada stared with wide eyes. "I mean...that thing is probably going to kill us...and we're just kind of...standing here..."

"You beautiful woman," breathed Tony. "You beautiful -"

The alien grabbed him and slammed him into the wall.

"Well," Canada coughed. "That's that, I guess."

"She is beautiful!"

The alien slammed him into the wall again.

"Is this some sort of kinky alien thing?" Prussia sat down on the sofa and stared, curiously.

Canada stared, nervously. "I think we should be leaving..."

The alien hurled Tony yet again; the wall cracked.

"This is perfect!" America exclaimed, grinning widely. "Tony has tamed the beast!"

_"What?!" _Canada stared with wide eyes. "No...I'm pretty sure he hasn't. In fact, I think he's made things worse."

He flinched as another crack sounded.

"Tony will keep her normal until we need to use her," America continued, ignoring the unfolding events. "We won't even have to do a thing!"

"Well..." Canada stared at the cracked wall. "You might lose your house..."

"Nah, it'll be fine." America continued to grin. "We'll keep her here until that conference my boss mentioned - and then we'll show her to everyone! It'll be great!"

Another crack sounded; Tony moaned, half with joy, and half with pain.

"Tony can come along too!" America nodded his head, looking pleased. "Two is better than one!"

"...I really have to stop letting you drag me into these things," Canada muttered.

**...**

**AN:**

**Review and tell me what you think :D Also, are there any characters that haven't been in this fic, that you would like to see? I don't have any room to fit in any more main characters, but I could have a small section for them.**

**Next chapter, Japan, Korea and China will be back :D And insane!Finland (XD) should be back soon too!**

**You guys have been so great, and I hope you continue to enjoy this fic :D**


	14. Chapter 14

As Japan stood, hunched over and searching through a nearby cupboard, China frowned at him.

"I don't like this one bit, aru," he said. "What happens if that woman walks through the door and see's us?"

Japan glanced up. "She won't," he replied. "Korea is distracting her."

"You are crazy, aru!" China shook his head, looking disbelieving. "Who in their right mind would trust Yong Soo with _anything?!"_

"Korea will hold her off." Japan sounded completely sure of this. "I promised him something he cannot refuse."

"Oh?" China raised one eyebrow. "And what is that, aru?"

"Your breasts."

There was a brief pause.

_"...WHAT?!"_

"Keep your voice down," Japan told China, narrowing his eyes in annoyance. "She will hear you."

"How dare you aru!" China looked furious. _"How dare you! _Why must you continuously do this to me?! I have only ever tried to be a good brother to you!"

Ignoring this, Japan continued to look around the room.

"Have you seen that phone anywhere?" he asked.

"Listen to me, aru!" China cried.

"No!" Japan glared at him. "We need to find the phone -"

_"JAPAN!"_

Japan stamped his foot. "Would you keep your voice down!"

"Why can't you just talk to me?!" China walked up to the other nation and stared at him. "Why do you have to treat me so horribly? Why can't you be a good little brother -"

"Don't talk to me like I am a child!"

"Why?" China reached out to place a hand on Japan's shoulder. "Why can't we just -"

Japan's eyes widened and he suddenly darted out of the way.

" - be a family..." China sighed and stared mournfully at the now empty spot.

"There's the phone!" Japan's voice was filled with excitement. He reached out and grasped the small device, before bounding back to where China was standing.

"Oh," China muttered. "Well...that's good."

"Good?!" Japan's eyes glinted with glee. "It is amazing! I actually wasn't expecting to find it up here - the first room we checked in. What is the luck of that?!"

China frowned at the device. "Are you sure that is the right one, aru?"

"Well, why would she have two phones?" Japan began to fumble around with the phone, his eyes glued to the screen. China walked around and peered over his shoulder.

"What are you doing, aru?" he asked.

"I am looking for the video," Japan replied. His brow furrowed. "Ugh...there are so many."

"Hmm..." China glanced at the screen. "That is a cute dog."

"You eat dogs."

"...Don't make it sound like such a bad thing, aru!"

"Is this it?" Japan clicked on one of the videos; immediately, it started to play upon the small screen.

His eyes widened.

China stared at it. "...I do not think that is what you are looking for, aru."

"I can see that!" Japan snapped.

There was a brief pause.

"...Aren't you going to turn that off?"

"Of course I am!" Japan's cheeks burned bright red. "I was only looking for the button to do that - stop rushing me!"

As Japan continued to fumble around with the phone, China simply stared down at it.

"So this is anime porn," he murmured.

...

"I cannot find the video! Where is the video?!"

Moments later, Japan and China were still searching through the phone. So far, their search had proved to be unsuccessful.

"Are you sure this is the right phone, aru?" China asked.

"It has to be!" Japan glared in frustration. "Why isn't it here?!"

"It is possibly that she could have multiple phones..."

Japan whirled around to glare at China. "Why must you always hope for the worst?!" he cried.

"I am not hoping for the worst, aru!" China retorted, defensively. "I am only being realistic!"

"You are hoping for the worst!"

...

While Japan and China continued to argue in the upstairs bedroom, Korea stood on the doorstep downstairs, smiling cheerily at the woman in front of him.

"...So then I was like, "give me your boobs, big brother!" and he said -"

"I'm sorry," the woman cut him off. "What exactly was it that you needed?"

"Oh yeah..." Korea thought for a moment. "...Could I please use your phone?"

"Sure," the woman said, after a brief moment of hesitation. "It's in the house."

"No," Korea replied, shaking his head and smiling. "I mean your cell phone. I'm allergic to normal phones."

Under his breath, he muttered; "Even if they _did _originate in Korea."

The woman stared at him. "...Was that a joke?"

"Please?" Korea stared at her with wide eyes.

"I...uh..." The woman hesitated. "Sure."

She handed it over to him.

"Hey," she said, suddenly. "You look familiar..."

"Of course I do!" Korea flung the phone against the wall; it shattered into multiple pieces. "I am Korea, da ze!"

He ran away, laughing.

The woman stood still, staring at her shattered phone, her mouth hanging open.

...

England and France were drunk.

Really, _really _drunk.

England had gotten drunk because, well...he was England. It was just something he tended to do, quite a bit.

France had joined in because he'd thought it would be fun.

On the bright side, at least they were in a private setting this time.

"I...this sucks." France took a swig from the bottle; not a single drop of alcohol came out. He dropped it, looking mournful.

"I know!" England nodded his head. "We're all out of alcohol!"

"No." France shook his head, clumsily. "I mean, everyone knows about us! It isn't fun! It never really was but...now it _really _sucks."

England nodded. "I hate my life."

"You hate everyone," France pointed out.

"I know." England thought for a moment. "I hate you France," he said, at last."

France smiled at him. "Thank you, Angleterre."

There was a moment of silence.

"You know," England said. "We could _totally _beat those bastards. Beat the _SHIT _out of them."

"Totally!"

There was another moment of silence.

"...We can't though," France said, at last. "My boss would spank me."

"Totally," England agreed, scowling. "But...we've got to stop them. All of this is making me depressed."

"Maybe we could change the way we look," France suggested. A moment later his eyes widened and he shook his head, rapidly. "NO! I DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE - I LOVE MYSELF VERY MUCH!"

"I know!" England cried. "We should...we should write a speech!"

France blinked. "A speech?"

"Yeah!" England nodded his head. "Speech's always make things better! Remember that one American bloke...he was all, "I have a dream!" and everyone was like, "oh yeah,totally!""

"...Didn't he get shot?"

Ignoring this, England continued to speak, his speech slurred from the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

"We should write a speech! And then we'll go and read it to everyone and they'll all be like, "oh wow, those blokes are awesome!" And then everything will be good, and I'll be the hero!"

"You sound like America," France told him.

England's eyes widened in horror. "Oh god," he whispered. "Shoot me."

...

_"THE VIDEO ISN'T HERE!"_

After almost an hour of searching through the device, Japan had finally come to the conclusion that the video wasn't anywhere on the phone.

"I think she simply has two phones, aru," China told him.

"Why?" Japan's expression was filled with distress. _"Why?!"_

"...Because she thought it would be a good idea?"

"Shut up!" Japan snapped, glaring. "That is not what I meant!"

China sighed. "Maybe we should just leave?" he suggested.

"That is easy for you to say!" Japan's jaw clenched, his eyes flashing angrily. _"You _aren't the one who everyone will accuse of being a pervert!"

"An anime pervert, aru," China corrected him.

"Shut up! There is no proper term for it!"

"Well..." China frowned. "What do you want to do, aru?"

Japan turned away from him and, in one violent movement, hurled the phone at the wall. It shattered and fell to the ground.

China stared at Japan, disbelievingly. "What did you do that for?"

"I am not taking any chances," Japan replied.

_"Oh my god!"_

Both nations froze and turned slowly to face the doorway of the room. Standing on the other side of the now-opened door was the woman that Japan had seen in the woods. She stared at them, her mouth agape.

"What the hell is _wrong _with you people?!" she cried. "Why is everyone destroying my things -" Her voice cut of, abruptly. She stared at them for a few moments.

"...Hey, aren't you Japan and China?"

"I told you we couldn't trust Yong Soo!" China cried.

Ignoring him, Japan ran quickly to the nearest escape route - the window that they had entered from. China, after muttering a few obscenities under his breath, followed after him.

The woman stared at them. "Hey - wait -"

They were gone soon after.

...

"So, how should we start?"

England stared down at the piece of paper in his hand, and then glanced up and France. The other nation thought for a moment.

"How about..._"hey people! It's us! France and England!"_"

"Oh yeah, thats great!" Smiling, England began to write on the piece of paper. His hand moved clumsily, creating messy, uneven letters on the page.

_"Hey peepz...France and England are in da house!"_

France frowned. "That is not what I said."

"Who cares," England retorted. "My version is better."

France snatched the paper and pen from his grasp.

"Hey!" England glared at him. "I was writing!"

"No," France snapped. "You were hogging the paper."

Glancing down, he scribbled something down onto the piece of paper. England struggled to see over his shoulder.

_"We are cool and fun...love us!"_

"That's lame!" England cried. "You can't write lame stuff in our speech! It doesn't work!"

"Fine then! I'll write something cool!" France thought for a moment. "Um...how about..._"stop stalking us?"_"

"...Yeah!" England smiled. "That's great!"

France wrote it down.

"Okay..." England chewed on his lip. "How about...we're really awesome. And cool. And better than you...except for America. He's a git."

France wrote it down, oblivious to how England's face suddenly crumbled with grief, at the mention of his former colony.

"America...oh god, America." England let out a choked sob.

France continued to write.

"Why did he have to betray me?!" England smashed his fist down on the sofa. "Why? WHY?! I did everything for him! I gave him everything he could have ever wanted! Why did he just..._HOW COULD HE?!"_

France scribbled all of it down on the paper.

"He...he..." England's voice cut of abruptly as he caught sight of what France was doing.

"Hey!" he howled. "Stop writing!"

"Too late..." France let out a chuckle. "It is already down."

England's expression darkened in frustration. "Dammit Frog! You ruin everything!"

France frowned for a moment and then wrote something down on the paper.

"What are you writing?" England asked.

"England is mean," France responded, his eyes remaining glued to the piece of paper. "He took Canada from me."

England's eyes narrowed, indignantly. "You can't put that in the speech!"

"Yes I can," France retorted. "It is there."

_"YOU'RE RUINING THE SPEECH!"_

France narrowed his eyes and wrote on the paper; _"England is an old coot who needs to hide in a hole."_

England snatched the paper from him and wrote; _"hide your daughters, France is coming."_

France snatched the paper back. _"Hide your genitals, England is coming."_

England's eyes widened, indignantly. "HOW DARE YOU?!" he howled. "I am not a pervert - YOU are!"

_"England sucks."_

England snatched the paper back. _"France thinks his hair is so good, but it's not - it sucks!"_

Not even bothering to yank the paper back, France half-threw himself onto England, snatched the pen from him, and wrote; _"England needs to shave off his eyebrows."_

_"FRANCE NEEDS TO SHAVE HIS HAIR!"_

_"England cannot cook."_

Momentarily forgetting about the piece of paper, England whirled around and glared at France.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" he howled. "INSULT ME ALL YOU WANT - BUT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY COOKING, AND YOU ARE GOING _DOWN!"_

France hesitated for a moment. "...Should I write that down?"

England's look of rage morphed into one of consideration.

"...Why not?" he said, at last.

...

"You know what we should do?"

It had been around an hour after the 'speech' had been written. France glanced up.

"What?" he asked.

"We should put this thing on youtube!" England looked incredibly proud of his idea. "Then everyone will be able to hear it and they'll be all; "oh, we were so wrong to accuse England of being all incestuous and stuff." Everyone will love me!"

France nodded his head, looking excited. "And me!"

"...No."

"Let's do it!"

...

"Alright people!" Belarus smiled at the crowd of people standing in front of her. "We are gathered here to discuss a very important topic." She paused, for dramatic effect. "The conquering of my big brother's heart!"

The small group of people standing in front of her, stared back.

"I am Belarus, if you don't already know," she continued.

"We know," responded one man.

Belarus immediately glared at him. "I did not ask you to speak!"

The man swallowed and lowered his eyes.

"...Now I will ask you to speak. Tell me, what are your names, and why did you join?" Belarus stared at them, expectantly.

"Ahh...hi." It was the man who had previously spoken. "I'm Nicholas. I joined because, well...I didn't really have anything better to do."

A woman standing beside him glanced up and smiled, awkwardly.

"I'm Viktoria. I joined because, well...you threatened my life."

A skinny, awkward looking teenager, took a step forward. "I'm -"

"That's enough," Belarus said, cutting him off. "We get the idea."

The teenager frowned. "But there's like, another seventeen of us -"

_"SHUT UP!"_

There was a moment of silence.

"Now." Belarus took a seat down on a nearby chair, and smiled. "Let's get down to business - conquering Russia's heart. Now, why should we conquer Russia's heart?"

She raised one eyebrow at the crowd, waiting for a response.

"Er..." the teenager shuffled his feet. "Because...um...Russia is...a strong country, who we could all, uh...use as an ally."

A few people nodded their heads, smiling at him, supportively.

"WRONG!"

Everyone jumped in alarm at Belarus' sudden scream; the teenager paled, dramatically.

"We are doing this because big brother is beautiful, and he shall marry me!"

"...Yeah..." coughed the teenager.

Belarus stood up and made her way to a nearby pile of clothing.

"My big sister, Ukraine, has made us some pretty uniforms to wear," she told the others. "I have added images of Russia's face to the back."

Picking up one of the uniform-jackets, she held it up for everyone to see. On the back was a badly sewn photo of Russia, who was attempting to shield himself away from the camera, while looking horrified.

"We have to wear that?" muttered Nicholas.

Belarus smiled at him. "Even when you sleep."

Everyone stared at her, their expression's filled with dread.

Belarus lifted her arm in the air, her expression wild and filled with excitement. "WE ARE ONE WITH RUSSIA!"

"...I kind of want to go home," mumbled the teenager.

**...**

**AN:**

**Tell me what you think :D**

**Finland, Sweden and Sealand will be back in the next chapter, along with Lithuania and Poland. Norway and Denmark might also be making a brief appearance :)**

**Keep reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy this!**


	15. Chapter 15

"Face it Poland," Lithuania growled. "We're lost - you got us _lost!"_

Walking beside him, Poland rolled his eyes. "Like, calm down," he sighed. "We can like, totally find your brothers."

"Poland!" Lithuania glared at him. "We stopped searching for Estonia and Latvia _ages ago! _Around the time you _crashed _my car and left us _stranded! _And now we're lost!"

"Like, calm down Liet."

Lithuania let out a noise of frustration. "Why didn't you just drive us to Estonia or Latvia?" he demanded. "After all, it's the most likely places that we would have found the _personifications of those countries!"_

Poland stared at him for a moment. "...Like, stop dwelling on the past, Liet."

"You crashed my car!"

"Totally like, calm down Liet," Poland retorted, rolling his eyes. "We'll just like, hitchhike."

"I'm not hitchhiking!" Lithuania looked ready to walk away at any moment. "Someone will recognize us!"

"Like, calm down - we have our disguises on...and look totally sexy too." Poland paused for a moment and smiled, fluffing up his hair. "No one is going to like, know who we are."

"I just want to go home!" Lithuania cried. "This is a horrible idea -"

Poland, ignoring Lithuania, stepped over to the side of the road and stuck out his thumb.

"POLAND!" Lithuania stormed over to his friend. "You aren't even listening to me!"

Poland turned his head briefly, opening his mouth to respond. Before he could, a car pulled up in front of the pair.

The door opened a moment later and a familiar face poked it's head out.

"Hey!" Poland's eyes widened. "It's like, that Semen guy!"

"I think you mean Sealand," Lithuania muttered, looking embarrassed.

"See Papa!" Sealand cried. "I told you it was them!"

A moment later Sweden poked his head out of the car, his eyes trained on the two nations standing in front of him.

Poland paled, his eyes widening in horror. "Like, run Liet!" he cried, trying to keep his voice low. "It's Sweden!"

"We can hear you," Sealand told him.

Poland let out a squeak of fear.

"W't r' y'u d'n 'ere?" Sweden asked, his eyes trained on them. Lithuania coughed, shuffling uncomfortably under the other nations gaze.

"Well...Poland crashed my car..." he tried to explain. "So...we're stuck."

Sweden's face remained blank. "I see."

"Like - run -" Poland whispered.

"Shut up!" Lithuania hissed back.

"W'd y' l'k a r'd?" Sweden's gaze turned expectant; as if he expected them to accept, no matter what.

"I'm like, telling you Liet," Poland hissed. "Run...now..."

"Poland!" Lithuania glared at him. "Shut up!"

"G't 'n t'h c'r."

Both Poland and Lithuania jumped in alarm.

"Oh God, Liet!" Poland wailed, his expression turning distressed. "Just like, do as he says!"

Sealand leaned towards Sweden. "Why are they so strange?" he whispered.

"Th'y m'yt s'm d'f'rnt b't t'hy j'st l'k us," Sweden responded.

"Actually, you know what," Lithuania interrupted Sweden and Sealand's conversation; his voice trembled with anxiety. "We can just walk -"

"Liet!" Poland's eyes widened, comically. "He'll kill us!"

Sweden stared at him, blankly.

"Oh come on Poland," Lithuania laughed, his voice tinged with hysteria, "don't be silly -"

Sweden narrowed his eyes. "W'd y' l'k a r'd 'r n't?"

"...Sure, why not?" Lithuania let out a small laugh and swallowed, nervously.

The two nations reluctantly made their way over to the car; they opened the back door.

Finland stared back at them.

There was a brief pause, as Lithuania and Poland took in the sight in front of them. Finland was swathed in ropes, his back pressed up against the opposite door. A gag had been pulled over his mouth; his eyes were narrowed, dangerously.

"...OH MY _GOD!" _Poland shrieked. "LIKE, RUN LIET! RUN BEFORE HE LIKE, GETS US TOO!"

"T's n't w't it l'ks l'k," Sweden said, hurriedly.

"Mama went psycho," Sealand piped in.

"Why is Finland tied up in your backseat?" Lithuania demanded, taking a step back in alarm.

"I just told you - he went psycho." Sealand rolled his eyes.

"They've kidnapped Finland!" Poland pointed a finger accusingly in the direction of Sweden and Sealand, taking a step backwards as he did so.

"How can we kidnap him if he _lives _with us?" Sealand shot back.

Poland shot Lithuania a panicked glance. "Liet -"

"H'ry up," Sweden growled. "B'fr he g'ts out."

Lithuania stared at him. "What?"

"He means," Sealand said, "that Mama might get out of his bindings, and if he does - well let's just say, no one will be happy. Especially not Uncle Denmark, since we'll probably have to sacrifice him."

He received blank, uncomprehending stares.

"W're d' y' w'nt t' go?" Sweden asked them.

Lithuania and Poland awkwardly ambled towards the car. They climbed into the backseat, shooting nervous glances at Finland.

"Could you just drop us at my home?" Lithuania asked, his eyes unmoving from the deadly stare that Finland was shooting them.

"No Liet!" Poland cried. "What about our road trip?!"

Lithuania glared at him. "Seeing as you crashed my car," he shot back, venomously, "I really don't see how we could still go through with that."

"But _Liet -"_

"We have to go all the way to _Lithuania?!" _Sealand shot a frustrated glance in Sweden's direction. "Papa!"

"S'lnd, c'm d'wn," Sweden sighed.

"But we're already in Finland!" Sealand slouched back in his seat, his lower lip forming a pout. "We have a few more hours left until we get home!"

"S'lnd," Sweden warned.

"Mama might get out and kill us all!" Sealand shot him a desperate look. "We _have _to get home!"

"'F Fn'lnd g't out, h'd k'll us no m'ttr w're we were."

Sealand's eyes widened in panic. "Don't _say _that!"

While this conversation was going on, Poland and Lithuania sat in the backseat, their eyes trained on Finland. Finland suddenly jerked forward; Lithuania and Poland let out small cries, leaping backwards.

"Like, oh my god, what is _WRONG _with him?!" Poland shrieked, his voice filled with horror.

Lithuania didn't answer, remaining pressed up against the door.

"Could you like, drive us to Estonia's house instead?" Poland asked Sweden, forcing his eyes away from Finland. "We're picking him and that other guy up before we like, start out road trip."

"There _is _no road trip!" Lithuania snapped, momentarily forgetting about the deadly stare being directed towards him. A moment later, he remembered.

"...Why is he staring at me like that?"

"Not _ESTONIA!" _Sealand wailed. "That's even further away that _Lithuania!"_

"Like, no," Poland replied. "I'm pretty sure there isn't like, that much of a difference between them."

"Finland," Lithuania pleaded, "please stop looking at me like that -"

"R't th'n," Sweden interrupted. "To 'Stonia we go."

"But -" Lithuania, who had been prepared to protest against this, was once again distracted by Finland.

"Oh god, Finland," he stuttered, his eyes wide. "Could you just turn around? Finland? Please?"

"...Like, maybe we should leave," Poland muttered.

Before either could make any sudden movements, the car suddenly jerked forward and was soon after gliding down the street.

...

The trip lasted around half an hour before the car broke down.

"I blame them," Sealand stated, glumly.

"Like, what's that supposed to mean?" Poland shot back.

"I'm just saying...I blame you."

"Poland." Lithuania's eyes were wide, his voice tinged with anxiety. "Finland won't stop staring at me..."

Sweden stared out of the window, looking irritated.

"Y' st'y in t'h c'r," he told them. "I'll f'nd a g's s'tn."

Poland's eyes drew up in confusion. "What did he say?" he whispered to Lithuania.

"You stay in the car," Sealand cut in, repeating Sweden's words. "I'll find a gas station."

"Ssh!" Poland hissed, shooting a nervous glance in Sweden's direction. "Keep your voice down!"

"Idi't," Sweden muttered.

"What do you mean 'stay in the car'?" Lithuania demanded, shooting a nervous glance at Finland. "Can't we come along?"

"'M n't l'vn h'm al'n," Sweden replied.

"Why not?" Lithuania shifted, uncomfortably. "I mean, it's not like he's going to get out..."

Finland stared at him, his eyes glinting murderously.

"I'll be r't b'ck," Sweden told them, reaching for the door handle.

"So will I!" Sealand piped up, opening the door and hopping outside.

"Like, no way, midget!" Poland cried. "You like, aren't leaving Liet and me in this car with _him - _like not in a _million years."_

Sealand glared back at him. "I've had to spend _weeks _with him! It isn't fair!"

"You _live _with him!" Lithuania shot back.

"So!" Sealand glowered, petulantly. "Uncle Denmark is the reason that he's like this - _he _should be the one dealing with this."

Poland thought for a moment. "Like, do you wanna go drop him off?"

"That'd take even _more _time!"

Sweden opened the car door and stepped outside.

"Papa! Wait for me!" With hurried movements, Sealand opened the door, and dashed after the other nation.

"Like, oh no you don't!" Poland cried, attempting to grab onto the smaller nation before he could leave. He missed by an inch.

"St'y h'r," Sweden called back to them, as he headed of into the distance. Sealand hurried after him, after taking a brief moment to turn around and stick his tongue out at the occupants of the car.

"That midget is like, going down," Poland muttered.

"...Well," Lithuania coughed. "This is...interesting..."

Poland snorted. "Yeah like, totally."

The two sat unmoving for a few moments, staring uncomfortably at the area in front of them. Beside them Finland continued to stare at them, his eyes narrowed and deadly.

"...Liet," Poland said, slowly, "like, do you really think it'd be like, so bad if we like, left him alone?"

Lithuania hesitated for a moment; he shot a glance in Finland's direction. Whatever he saw - and whatever it was, it probably wasn't good - helped him make up his mind.

"Of course not!" he laughed, nervously. "I mean, it isn't like he's going to get out of those ropes..."

Without another word, the two friends dashed out of the car.

...

"Has anyone seen Prussia?" Italy stared at Austria and Germany, curiosity in his eyes.

"Don't mention him," Austria muttered, his expression darkening. "You know what they say; speak of the devil, and he shall appear."

"Ve," Italy laughed. "I don't think that Prussia is the devil."

Austria snorted. "You'd be surprised."

"We need to think of a plan to end this madness!" Germany cried, interrupting any further conversation between the other two nations.

"Shut up Germany," Austria shot back.

"...Excuse me?" Germany looked slightly disbelieving.

"I said, shut up." Austria glared at him. "We already went though this, and it failed. I am done with coming up with plans. I am just going to enjoy what little peace I have left until those reporters - or worse, Prussia - come back."

"...This is how you enjoy yourself?"

...

Around fifteen minutes after they had left, Sweden and Sealand finally headed back to the car.

"And then the guy was chasing him through the maze -"

"W't are y' t'kin b't a'gn?" Sweden interrupted what Sealand had been saying.

"...The Shining."

Sweden blinked. "Oh."

"Right, so then -" Sealand once again paused what he had been saying and blinked for a moment. He squinted at the stretch of land in front of him, trying to see properly.

"Hey," he said, "isn't that Poland and Lithuania?"

Sweden glanced over. "Y's."

Sealand quickly picked up his pace, and hurried over to where the other nations were standing. Sweden, with a small sigh, headed after him.

"What are you guys doing out of the car?" Sealand glared at them. "You were supposed to stay with Mama!"

"Like, why don't _YOU _stay with that psycho?!" Poland shot back.

"I already told you why," Sealand snapped.

"Look, everything will be fine," Lithuania sighed, interrupting before an argument could take place. "I mean, how is he supposed to get out? He's all tied up. It will be fine."

"Y' b'tr h'p so," Sweden muttered.

Lithuania and Poland both swallowed, looking nervous.

The four nations headed back to the car in relative silence. Even Sealand stayed silent, refraining from continuing the conversation he had been having with Sweden.

Lithuania's brow furrowed and he glanced around, looking concerned. "It it just me or is it really...quiet?"

"Yeah," Poland agreed. "There's like, no one around."

"There's the car," Sealand cried, pointing into the distance. They hurried over.

"See," Lithuania said, once they were in close proximity with the vehicle. "Everything's fine!"

Sealand frowned. "I don't see Mama."

"Like, don't be ridiculous," Poland snorted. "He's like, in the car." Reaching out, he opened the car door and peaked inside. A moment later his eyes widened and he paled.

"...He's not in the car, is he?" Lithuania closed his eyes and let out a loud, miserable sigh.

"Well, like, the ropes are here," Poland muttered, after a brief pause.

Lithuania slapped his forehead.

"Well, he couldn't have gone far, right?" Lithuania tried to keep his voice calm. He turned around to glance at Sweden and Sealand; both nations were as still as statues, their eyes wide.

"You know," Sealand laughed, weakly, "if we keep running for a bit, we might be able to make it to a town, where we can get help -"

"T'h t'rs 'r s'lsh'd."

Everyone turned to stare at Sweden.

_"What _did he say?" Poland demanded.

"The tires are slashed," Lithuania responded.

Poland looked surprised. "Like, damn Liet, you were _GOOD _at this!" he praised. "How can you even like, understand the guy?"

Without answering him, Lithuania pointed shakily at the tires of the car. Poland's eyes drifted over; they widened in horror at what he saw.

"Oh." His voice shook. "The tires...are slashed."

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Sealand moaned. Sweden simply petted him on the shoulder.

"Like, maybe it's not what it seems," Poland choked. "Maybe...some psycho like, came along and like, slashed them. You know...a psycho who like, _ISN'T _Finland..."

A branch cracked behind them.

**...**

**AN:**

**Here's the next chapter! :D Hope you liked it! Tell me what you think :D**

**America will be back in the next chapter :D**

**Also, just in case you guys are confused with all Sweden's dialect, here is everything that he said throughout this chapter:**

**_w't r' y'u d'n' 'ere? - What are you doing here?_**

**_w'd y' l'k a r'd? - Would you like a ride?_**

**_g't 'n t'h c'r - Get in the car_**

**_th'y m'yt s'm d'f'rnt b't t'hy j'st l'k us - They might seem different but they're just like us_**

**_w'd y' l'k a r'de 'r n't? - Would you like a ride or not?_**

**_h'ry up b'fr he g'ts out - Hurry up before he gets out_**

**_f fn'lnd g't out, h'd k'll us no m'ttr w're we were. - If Finland got out, he'd kill us no matter where we were._**

**_y' st'y in t'h c'r. i'l f'nd a g's s'tn - You stay in the car. I'll find a gas station_**

**_'m n't l'vn h'm al'n - I'm not leaving him alone_**

**_st'y h'r - stay here_**

**_w't are y' t'kin b't a'gn? : what are you talking about again?_**

**_ y' b'tr h'p so - You better hope so_**

**_t'h t'rs 'r s'lsh'd - the ties are slashed_**


	16. Chapter 16

For America, the days leading to the press conference had passed by in a blur. As he stood facing the crowd in front of him, he only half listened as question after question was fired at him.

"So how old are you?"

"Do you have parents? Were you naturally conceived or did you just...appear?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Are the rumors about you, England and Canada true?"

"Alfred," his boss hissed, eyes narrowed in irritation. "Pay attention!"

"What?" America blinked in confusion. "I - oh come on boss, their questions are stupid anyway."

There was a pause in the rapid stream of questions.

"Ah..." America let out an awkward laugh. "Just joking folks. Carry on."

The questions resumed.

_'I wonder when Prussia and Mattie are going to get here,' _America thought. _'Dude, why do they have to be so slow? This is BORING!'_

The only reason America had even bothered to show up (other than the fear of his boss's wrath, of course) was because of his brilliant plan. After today...well, no one would be paying attention to him anymore! They'd be much too focused on the revelation of the existence of aliens!

Now if only Prussia and Canada would hurry up and bring Tony and the other chick over...

"Alfred!" His boss broke through his stream of thought. "Would you pay attention?!"

"Ah, sure," America murmured. "But let me tell you boss, things are about to get really -"

"You were just asked a question!"

"Huh?" America turned his head to face the crowd of reporters. "Ahh..." What had been the question? Somehow, he didn't think his boss would be too happy if he asked...

"Dude, yes."

Well, that worked, didn't it?"

His boss squeezed his eyes shut, looking miserable. "They just asked you whether you have any illegitimate children like Norway."

America's eyes widened. "Oh well then _no - _and hold on a second, _Norway?"_

...

The sudden scream that echoed through the house jolted Denmark out of the light nap he had been having.

"Oh shit," he muttered under his breath. Had Norway found the stash of porn he'd hidden in his room? He'd always knew the guy was a prude...

"Norge," he called out, wondering in the direction of the scream. "Everything alright? Sorry about the porn - I hope I haven't permanently damaged you or anything."

"What porn?" Norway snapped, his expression filled with panic. In Denmark's opinion, it was actually slightly disturbing to see actual emotion on the other nation's face.

"You know..." Denmark's voice trailed off. "Er...something tells me that you and I are talking about two _completely _different things."

"Look at this!" With an angry shove, Norway thrust a newspaper into Denmark's hands. With raised eyebrows, Denmark glanced down at it.

_At a conference held by Norway (the personification) insanity occurred. Finland (personification) came running towards the crowd, shooting arrows at a startled Denmark (personification). The reason for this is unknown but parts of the conversation may have hinted that due to the stress of being revealed to the world, Finland lost his mind._

_He was subdued by Sweden (his assumed spouse) and taken to an unknown location. The police sent to guard the conference, as well as the Prime Minister, were quite startled by the events that occurred, although Norway himself seemed quite calm. Denmark on the other hand was reduced to a sobbing mess._

_What does the attack mean for the countries of Denmark and Finland? Is Finland intent on declaring war on Denmark? Or is it all a petty misunderstanding?_

_On a brighter note, amidst the chaos, the mysterious entrance of a young male with an almost identical appearance to Norway has stirred up some questions. Which nation is he? How is they related? Currently, the most popular belief, fueled on by the boys adamant dismissal of any relation to Norway, is that the boy is the illegitimate child of the nation. This will be looked at in further detail._

"...They think Iceland is your illegitimate child?"

"Yes!" Norway looked horrified. "Why would they think that?! What's _wrong _with them?!"

"What's the point of sticking 'illegitimate' in there?" Denmark's brow furrowed in confusion. "How would they know if he was illegitimate or not? Why not just call him your child?"

"The point is, _he isn't," _Norway snapped. "But everyone thinks he is! God, there goes my reputation..."

"Oh calm down Norge," Denmark sighed. "I bet no one is even going to look at this garbage."

"I just don't understand," Norway muttered, ignoring Denmark completely. "...We don't even look alike..."

...

As the conference dragged on, America was beginning to get frustrated. Prussia and Canada had yet to arrive and it wouldn't be long before things would draw to a close.

"Right then," his boss said, taking a step forward to address the crowd. "To finish of, America here has something to say."

He glanced at America, looking expectant. America stared back, his expression blank.

"Alfred," his boss hissed. "Come on, say your speech."

"...What speech?"

There was an awkward pause; the reporters began to murmur amongst themselves.

"Oh you have _got _to be kidding me," America's boss muttered.

"You never told me to write a speech!" America protested.

His boss squeezed his eyes shut. "I've been telling you to write a speech _all week!" _He shook his head. "Oh never mind - just make something up, for godsake. Just make it _good."_

America nodded. "Sure. I'll just -" His voice cut of abruptly at the sound of his name being whispered. He glanced around, looking confused.

"Alfred," his boss hissed. "Come on -"

"I'll be back," he responded, quickly. Ignoring his boss's angry response, he hurried off n the other direction, away from the crowd. His eyes flickered around, looking for the owners of the whispers. His eyes landed on Prussia and Canada, crouched nearby. With their horrible attempt at a hiding place, it was a wonder that no one had seen them yet.

(Of course, it was very possible that they had been spotted, yet no one had cared...).

"Dudes, what's up?" America hurried over. "I've been waiting for you for _AGES! _Where were you?"

When he saw the other two nations properly, his eyes widened.

"Dude, what _happened _to you?!"

"Your loser of an alien is what happened to us!" Prussia snapped. He glared at America, viciously.

"America..." Canada shook his head, looking frustrated. "God, that's the last time I ever listen to you."

"Okay, whatever," America said. "You guys look hideous, moving on."

Prussia's expression darkened further. "Why, you loser!" he growled. "My radiance trumps you, and makes you bow at my awesome, perfectly-shaped feet!"

Canada stared at Prussia, looking slightly disturbed.

"Hey, where's Tony?" America glanced around, looking confused.

"America..." Canada's eyes narrowed. "Take a look at us. What do you _THINK _happened?!"

America stared at them for a moment. "...You met an angry mob on the way?"

_"TONY HAPPENED!"_

There was an awkward pause.

"...Tony met an angry mob on the way?"

"AMERICA!" Canada howled. "TONY -"

"- The fucker beat the shit out of us!" Prussia's jaw clenched in anger. _"So _not cool!"

"No, that can't be right," America protested. "Why would Tony do that?"

"Okay," Canada snapped. "You don't believe us? Then here's a direct quote from him - _"You aren't telling anyone about me. I don't want to end up like you pathetic fuckers, not when I've finally found true love."_"

"Aww, how sweet!" America's face lit up in excitement. "Tony found true love and -" His voice cut off as everything Canada had said fully hit him. "...wait, what?!"

"After all this shit, I better get my army," Prussia muttered.

"Tony said that?!" America looked stunned.

"Yes America," Canada growled. "Your stupid little alien friend said that - right after he beat the _shit _out of us and threw us out of your house - or his house, should I say."

"...What?"

"Oh yeah." Canada's mouth twitched into a humorless smile. "He claimed it for himself. Looks like you're homeless."

There was a brief pause.

"...I'll be right back." America sprinted off in the opposite direction.

...

"Dude, this is so shit," Prussia said, staring after America's disappearing figure. He turned to face Canada. "Wanna go out for a drink?"

Canada cocked his head to the side, looking considerate.

"Sure, why not?" he said, at last.

...

After about five minutes of furious banging on the door, it finally opened to reveal Tony standing on the other side. America glared at him, his expression dark with rage.

"What do you want, asshole?" Tony asked.

"Tony, what the hell dude?!" America sounded furious. "Why'd you say those things to Prussia and Canada?!"

"...Who?" Tony looked slightly confused.

"Prussia and Canada," America responded.

"Who the fuck is Canada?"

"He's my brother..." America's brow furrowed. "...I think..."

There was an awkward pause.

"Er..." Tony thought for a moment. "Is he the white-haired one?"

"Nope." America shook his head. "The other one. He's...hold on, give me a second." He cocked his head to the side, looking thoughtful. "...I can't remember," he said, at last.

"Hmm..." Tony frowned. "I'm pretty sure there was only the white haired one."

"No there was definitely another guy," America replied, firmly. "He...he looks like me!"

"Oh yeah." Tony's eyes widened in realization. "I think I vaguely remember someone like that..."

For a moment there was a pleasant silence between the two, which was broken my America's angry cry of, "anyway dude, what the hell?!"

"They were going to expose me to the public," Tony snapped. "I couldn't allow them to do that."

"But you agreed!" America cried.

"Yeah well, guess what fucker - I changed my mind." Tony gave America a brief moment to process this. "Now that I found true love, I'm not about to let _you _screw up my life!"

"Why are you talking to me this way?!" America demanded. "I'm you best friend!"

Tony let out a snort. "Not anymore, fucker!" he snapped. "From now on, my only friend is my one true love!"

_"TONY!"_

"By the way guess what, asshole?" Tony smirked slightly (an odd look for an alien). "I've claimed this house as my own. You're going to have to find somewhere else to live."

America's eyes narrowed in indignation. "You can't just take my stuff!"

"Finder's keepers," was Tony's response.

"I found it first!"

"Yeah well, _too bad! _I am alien, so therefore I'm cooler."

America let out a frustrated howl. "This isn't fair!"

Tony's response was to slam the door in his face.

"TONY!" America howled, pounding furiously on the door. "COME ON DUDE!"

The door once again opened, sending America staggering backwards. Tony poked his head out.

"Oh and by the way," he said. "You aren't invited to the wedding."

Once again, the door was slammed shut.

_"...TONY YOU TRAITOR!"_

...

"...I'm sure he'll be back at any moment..." America's boss laughed, addressing the impatient crowd in front of him.

...

The knock on Latvia's door was unexpected, since the nation really hadn't been expecting any guests. He opened it anyway, bracing himself for any overly-excited humans, with was highly likely nowadays.

The figure standing on the other side of the door made him _wish _for an overly-excited human.

"Mr. Russia," he stuttered, his eyes growing wide.

Russia smiled. "Hello Latvia," he said, cheerily. "I will be needing a place to stay for a while."

Ignoring the horrified look that crossed the other nation's face, Russia shoved past and walked into the house.

...

"...Oh Latvia, what ever will I do?"

Somehow an hour after Russia had arrived, Latvia found himself sitting on the sofa beside the larger nation, listening as he rattled on about his woes.

Latvia swallowed, heavily. "I don't know, Mr. Russia." His voice trembled with anxiety.

Russia sighed. "I do not know either...perhaps I will just hide here forever..."

Latvia's eyes widened in horror.

"Oh no, don't do that," he said, quickly. "You...you have every right to stay in your own home!"

_'And please leave mine...please, please leave mine...'_

"I know I do - and if it were anyone else, I would simply crush them." Russia smiled and Latvia let out a shudder.

"...But it is Belarus and I cannot crush her." The smile faded and Russia's shoulders slumped. "She is my sister and more importantly - she is very scary."

"I understand," Latvia replied, quietly.

Russia smiled at him. "That is good Latvia, but say that again and I will be forced to crush you with my pipe."

Latvia's eyes widened and he flinched away.

Ignoring this, Russia let out a loud sigh. "Belarus has always been tormenting my existence but this time..." He shook his head, looking frustrated. "This time, she has gone too far. She has created an army!"

"Well," Latvia said, trying to sound supportive (and to hide his fear). "I heard it's not too big -"

"Quiet," Russia snapped.

Latvia's mouth snapped shut.

"I haven't said this to many people Latvia," Russia murmured. "But I will say this to you because I do not believe anyone will care if you told them. You are simply boring and unlovable, da?"

Latvia frowned. "Well, I wouldn't say -"

"I am afraid." Russia let out a small shudder. "I am very afraid."

Latvia hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should say anything. The last thing he wanted was a shattered skull.

"Well," he said, at last. "Mr. Russia, maybe you could talk to Ms. Belarus? I'm sure she would understand why you wouldn't want her to do this."

"She is Belarus."

"Yes, well..." Latvia shrugged. "You never know unless you try, right?"

Russia frowned slightly. "Perhaps...da, you are right."

"Really?" Latvia's eyes widened in surprise. He smiled. "Oh, that's great! So you will be talking to her?"

Russia smiled. "No. You will."

"...What?"

At the look of horror on the other nation's face, Russia's smile grew. "I will not be confronting Belarus; it is suicide. You on the other hand...well, you would not have lived long in the first place."

"But...but..." Latvia struggled to find words.

"You will be talking to my sister for me, da?" The look on Russia's face clearly told Latvia that he had no other options. "Tell her that I do not want her to continue this madness."

"She'll kill me!" Latvia cried.

Russia's response was to lift his pipe high in the air. Latvia paled and swallowed, heavily.

"But of course, you'd kill me anyway," he muttered.

"Smart boy," Russia said, lowering the pipe. "If I were you, I'd get a move on, da?"

"But..." Latvia stared at him for a few moments. "...What about you?"

"I will be staying here."

"...Oh." Latvia hoped that Russia couldn't see the displeasure he was feeling.

"Yes..." Russia's fingers brushed over his pipe, his eyes glinting menacingly, despite the smile on his face. "But of course if you fail and Belarus threatens you with mutilation - the most likely scenario - you will be directing her to your brother, Estonia's house, da?"

...

In Canada's opinion, the day hadn't turned out _too _bad. Sure, he'd had the crap beaten out of him and sure, he'd been forgotten about over a dozen times but...well, after all that had passed, he'd actually been _invited _to something.

Someone had actually noticed him long enough to want to spend time with him.

"So how crazy was that alien right?" He shook his head. "I mean seriously - he just went psycho, and -"

_"Totally unawesome!" _Prussia's sudden angry exclamation stopped Canada abruptly. He stared at the ex-nation with wide eyes.

"Prussia?"

"That Canada loser is so fucked!" Prussia seethed, his expression darkening. Canada stared at him, his eyes wide and his expression bewildered.

"I mean," Prussia continued, angrily, "he just left me here and fucked of somewhere! What the hell?!"

Canada's eyes widened in realization. "No," he said, "I'm right here."

Prussia didn't hear him. "Seriously uncool," he continued to rant.

Canada waved a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention. "Prussia really, I'm -"

"Dammit!" Prussia leapt up, his expression wild. "No one leaves the awesome me hanging!"

_"I'M RIGHT HERE!"_

**...**

**AN:**

**Okay, so here's another chapter! Hopefully you enjoyed this :D Tell me what you think :D**

**In the next chapter, you will be able to find out what happened to Finland and co...and others too, although I haven't yet decided who else I will be including in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows, and thank you for reading my story :D Hope you continue to enjoy it!**


	17. Chapter 17

Poland was the first to back away, his eyes filled with horror.

"F-f-finland," he stuttered. "Like - oh my _god, _you look like a total _psycho -"_

"Poland!" Lithuania hissed, shooting him a warning glance. Poland glanced back, a hint of indigence slipping through the fear.

"Well he does!" he shot back.

"Sh't up," said another voice, reminding them that Finland wasn't the only psychopath in the area. Sweden narrowed his eyes at them, looking annoyed.

"Why is everyone like, totally dissing me for like, stating the obvious?!" Poland flung his arms in the air, looking frustrated.

Finland smiled at the group in front of him, coldly. "You thought you could keep Finland tied up," he laughed. _"NO ONE _can keep Finland tied up -"

"Mama!" Sealand shot him a desperate look. "Come on, stop looking at us like that! It's...it's _us!"_

"Brat!" Finland's expression darkened. "Shut up!"

"But -"

"I said shut up!" With the same dark expression plastered across his face, Finland began to pace. "You're all traitors - just like Denmark -"

"I like, totally don't even know what's going on!" Poland wailed in distress. Immediately Finland's head snapped in his direction.

"...That's not normal..." Lithuania muttered.

"You think I care that you don't know what's going on?!" Finland's eyes flashed dangerously. "No one can keep Finland tied up! Finland will have revenge!"

"Like, oh my god," Poland wailed, "he's referring to himself in like, third person!"

"Yes Poland," Lithuania sighed.

"Like, everyone run!"

"Now d'nt panic," Sweden told them, slowly. "Ev'rythin' will be -"

His voice trailed off and his eyes widened. For a moment he - along with the rest of the group - stared at Finland with wide eyes.

To be more specific, at the _axe _in Finland's hands.

"Where did you get an axe from?" Sealand stammered, taking a step back in horror.

Finland let out a loud, hysterical laugh. "You'd be surprised about what you can buy of the street." Smiling, he stroked the blade of the axe.

"...We're going to die," Lithuania whispered.

"I'm like, too young and perfect to die!" Poland wailed. "Like, _TOTAL SOS! SOMEONE SAVE ME!"_

"Papa?" Sealand stared at Sweden with wide eyes. "What are we going to do?"

Sweden stared at Finland, his eyes unblinking.

"Papa -"

"R'n."

The soft response said by Sweden was all the instruction they needed. Without a moment of hesitation they went running off in the other direction, towards a stretch of forest that _really _didn't look too inviting.

Oh well...anything was better than staying with Finland.

_"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FINNY!" _Finland shrieked, chasing after them with a mad grin stretched across his face.

"Like, somehow it makes me want to like, pee my pants when he talks like that." Poland's expression darkened. "Totally _not _cool."

...

Lithuania came to an abrupt halt, struggling to catch his breath.

"So," he panted, "I think we lost him -"

_"FINNY WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE!"_

"...Or not..." His expression fell.

"He sounds like he's a bit back," Sealand said, in-between heavy breaths. "That should give us enough time to outrun him, right?"

Sweden looked thoughtful.

"Papa?" Sealand glanced at him. "What do you think?"

For a moment there was no reply. Then, in a firm voice, Sweden replied, "I th'nk we need t' go b'ck."

Everyone stared at him, looking shocked.

"Like, _WHAT?!" _Poland shrieked.

"We c'nt leave Fn'lnd here," Sweden said. "We have t' get him."

Lithuania looked horrified. "Sweden," he protested, shakily. "I don't think that's the best idea -"

Sweden's head snapped towards him and he stared through narrowed eyes. Lithuania's voice trailed off and he lowered his eyes to the floor.

"Papa!" Sealand cried. "We can't go back! He'll kill us!"

Sweden's eyes narrowed further. "Th'ts a ch'nce we'll h've to t'ke," he growled.

"Like, no _way!" _Poland snapped, his head whizzing from side to side in frantic movements. _"You _can like, do that if you want! I'm like, totally out of here!"

Sweden's head snapped around to stare at him, his eyes glinting dangerously. Poland swallowed heavily, the fire leaving him.

"Or like, not..." he muttered.

"Sweden," Lithuania said, his voice trembling. "What do we do? Finland has an _AXE _for godsake! What do _we _have?!"

Poland leaned towards him and, keeping his voice low, said, "like, maybe if we sneak off -"

"Papa, Poland wants to sneak off!"

Poland shot a vicious glare in Sealand's direction. "Like, shut up midget!" he snapped. "I like, totally never said that!"

"Would b'th of y' shut up?" Sweden growled.

"Guys, maybe we should get a move on," Lithuania murmured, his eyes nervously inching backwards. "I can actually _hear _Finland's footsteps now -"

"We need t' g't him," Sweden muttered, cutting him off.

Sealand shot Sweden a desperate look, shaking his head wildly. "Papa, no!" he cried. "We'll come back for him or something - I don't want to die -"

"I can hear you, Sealand!"

At the sound of Finland's voice, everyone froze. Horrified glances were shared between the group, save for Sweden, who stared calculatingly in the direction of the voice.

"I like, think I wet my pants," Poland moaned.

"...St'rt movin'."

Simultaneously, everyone turned to stare at Sweden.

"Well, c'm on th'n," he responded, stiffly.

"...What?" Lithuania stared at him, looking bewildered.

"I'll like, never understand that guy," Poland muttered.

Finland chose that moment to appear, abruptly stopping any further line of conversation. Sweden whirled around and took of running in the other direction, grasping Sealand tightly and pulling him along behind him. After a few brief moments of staring, Poland and Lithuania followed in hot pursuit.

"Where are we running?!" Lithuania howled, refusing to look behind him in fear of what he would see.

"T' my house!" Sweden called back.

There was a brief pause.

"Papa, is that a joke?" Sealand choked, struggling to breathe as he ran beside the other nations. He received no reply.

"Your house is miles away!" he cried, shooting a desperate glance at Sweden.

Once again, there was no answer.

"This is like, my worst nightmare," Poland whimpered.

"I don't understand," Lithuania panted from beside him. "Why are we going there?"

"D'nt ask questions," was Sweden's answer.

"But Sweden -" Lithuania struggled to speak through heavy pants. " - I really don't -"

Sweden (looking surprisingly unaffected by the run) swiveled his head around and shot Lithuania a threatening look.

_"WAIT FOR FINNY!"_

Everyone jumped as a familiar voice sounded from behind them.

"Like, oh my god, I peed myself again!" Poland moaned.

"I don't understand any of this!" Sealand wailed.

Sweden shot them all glares. "St'p askin' questions!" he snapped.

Lithuania glanced behind him briefly, struggling to see if Finland was close behind him or not. The area behind him was empty - he supposed that was some sort of relief.

...Wait, what was that figure in the distance? Dammit.

"How much longer?" he asked, panting heavily.

"You really don't want to know," Sealand responded, shuddering slightly.

...

An hour later found them hiding behind a cluster of trees, all panting heavily (well all except for Sweden).

"Like, what did I ever do to deserve this?" Poland wailed. "Like, why me?! I feel like a total retard!"

"Shut up," Sealand snapped, struggling to breathe.

"Sweden - please tell us," Lithuania moaned, shooting a desperate look in the other nation's direction. "Why are we doing this?"

Sweden didn't answer, staring blankly ahead of him.

"Sweden!"

"C'nt drag him home," he sighed. "He's too mad."

Poland rolled his eyes. "Like, tell us something we _don't _already know!"

Sweden shot him a brief glance and Poland wilted, lowering his eyes to the floor.

"This way we're luring h'm home," Sweden explained, dragging his eyes away to look at the group as a whole. There was a brief pause.

"...Oh." Lithuania blinked. "Well that...actually makes sense..."

A branch cracked behind them.

Poland let out a pitiful moan, his eyes widening comically. "Like, why does it have to be so painful?!"

Sealand shot a horrified look in Sweden's direction. "We...we have to start r-r-running again?" he stammered.

Sweden nodded. Sealand let out a choked sob; Poland joined in.

Lithuania looked like he desperately wanted to join in.

"C'm on," Sweden sighed.

...

"So, uh..." Spain shot a glance at Romano. "You've been quiet..."

Romano's head shot up and whipped around. He shot Spain a deadly glare.

"What was that?" he spat. "I thought I told you to shut up!"

Spain lowered his head slightly. "My little Romano is so mean to me!" he whimpered.

"Oh, shut up," Romano snapped, glowering viciously at the wall. "Why can't you just go home?!"

"Reporters," Spain responded, shuddering slightly. "They're everywhere. At least this way we can battle our way through the crowds _together."_

"Stop!" Romano shot him another glare. "It's _you _saying shit like that, that turned us into Europe's newest _fucking vomit-worthy lovebirds!"_

An excited smile spread across Spain's face. "Oh Romano!" he crowed. "I knew you'd eventually admit to it!"

"Bastard!" Romano spat. "I didn't admit to anything!"

"The world would say otherwise."

Romano's expression darkened further. _"You _did that, bastard!" he howled. "Go back to your own fucking house!"

A sound from upstairs halted any further conversation. Both nations froze as the sound of footsteps echoed from the hallway.

"...Did you invite some guests over?" Spain inquired, shooting Romano an inquisitive look.

_"No _you bastard," Romano spat. "I _didn't _invite anyone over! You won't leave me the hell alone, how could I have invited anyone over without you knowing?!"

Spain frowned. "Then who's in the house?"

Romano blinked.

"...Shit," he sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I'm going to have to relocate, aren't I?"

"Have no fear, mon chers, it is only me!" cried a voice and, a moment later, France bounded into the room, a large smile spread across his face.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Romano moaned, as Spain let out an excited squeal. "It's not enough that I have to deal with _him. _Now _you're _back?!"

"Wait!" Spain's smile faded. "You abandoned us to those reporters!"

"Yes, well..." France let out an awkward laugh. "Well you see...uh...it was all part of my uh plan - yes that is right!" He nodded his head enthusiastically. "It was all part of my plan to reveal to the world the love that you two share!"

Spain's expression brightened. "Oh France!" he gushed. "You're such a great friend!"

Romano let out a series of curses.

"Yes, well..." Wandering over, France threw himself onto a nearby chair and let out a dramatic sigh. "I had to sneak in through your bedroom window - you might want to get some new glass, by the way."

"Bastard!"

" - Yes as I was saying, the reporters are still swarmed around the door. Someone really needs to do something about those people - I wonder how long we can survive before starving to death?"

"We still have plenty of food," Spain responded, waving a hand dismissively.

_"I _have plenty of food," Romano snapped. _"You _have nothing, bastard!"

"Besides," Spain continued, ignoring the comment. "It's not like we can die."

"Don't ignore me!" Romano leapt up, his fists clenched. "And _you! _He whipped around to stare at France. "Why did you have to come here?!"

"I was staying with England," France responded. "He kicked me out - Prussia is busy with America and some fellow named...Candora? No, that doesn't sound right..." He frowned and shook his head. "Anyway, your's was the next house I thought of."

Spain frowned. "Wait, why did England kick you out?"

"A stupid reason really - you know how England is." France waved his hand, dismissively. "It's all on youtube if you're really curious."

**...**

**AN:**

**Okay, sorry for the delay. I'll try to update sooner next time. **

**I hope you enjoyed this though - aaaaaaaaaand the secret of how the secret of the nations came out (haha xD) will PROBABLY be coming out in a few chapters (then again, I'm not a hundred percent sure...but it WILL be coming out eventually, I haven't completely forgotten about what this story is about xD).**


	18. Chapter 18

"Run!" was the first word hissed at him as the door opened, revealing the interior of the dreaded house.

"What?" Latvia asked, his voice bewildered. The unfamiliar teenager on the other side trembled slightly, his eyes wide.

"Run while you still can," he whimpered. "It's too late for me...but you can still escape!"

"Who are you?" Latvia stared at him, blankly.

"I don't even know anymore," the teen whimpered. "She just calls me Russia-Lover-6."

_"Huh?"_

"There's twelve of us now," the teen continued, his voice trembling. "Russia-Lover-1...Russia-Lover-2...Russia-Lover-3..."

"I don't understand -"

"Russia-Lover-6?" called a familiar voice; Latvia felt a chill go up his spine. "Who is it?"

"I don't know!" the teen stuttered.

"Is it my big brother?"

"No." The teen took a shaky step back and shot Latvia one last, warning look.

"Run," he whispered. He then turned and took off down the hallway.

Latvia stared after him, a foreboding feeling forming in his gut. Maybe he should run like he'd been told to...did he even have enough time? He glanced behind him, calculating his chances of escaping.

"Latvia?" Belarus stood in the doorway; Latvia silently cursed.

"H-h-hello B-B-Belarus," he stuttered, his hands curling into nervous fists. "How...nice to see you."

"Why are you here?" Belarus demanded, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I'm busy - do you want to know what I'm doing?"

"Well actually -"

Belarus cut him off. "I am preparing for when I conquer Big Brother's heart." She smiled in that way of hers that made people want to wet their pants. "The loyal citizens of my country have been wonderful enough to help me with my cause - it's so lovely to know that they feel the same way!"

Latvia stared at her for a long moment, remembering the horror on the teenagers face; he certainly didn't _look _like he was here voluntarily.

Dear lord, where had these people come from?!

"Belarus," Latvia said, cursing himself for opening his mouth, even as he said the words. "Where...did you get all your...Russia-lovers?"

Belarus beamed. "Do you like their new names?"

Latvia simply stared at her.

"I realized how much they truly love Russia, like I do," Belarus responded. "I'm helping them as much as they are helping me, see?"

"Oh..." Latvia once again began calculating his chances of escaping.

"So why are you here?" Belarus asked, her smile suddenly disappearing. Latvia swallowed heavily.

"Um..." He thought for a moment. "Well...Russia -"

"Big Brother?!" Belarus' eyes widened, looking slightly crazed. Latvia resisted the urge to back away.

"Yeah," he choked. "Anyway - he wanted me to ask you to...er..." His voice trailed off as he realized _exactly _what he had been about to say to this _madwoman. _Did he have a _death wish?!"_

"You know what?" Latvia took a nervous step backwards. "It doesn't matter - I'm just going to go back to -"

"What did Big Brother say?!" Belarus took a step forward. "Tell me!"

Latvia let out a squeak of fear. "He just - he just wanted me to tell you to er...stop all this!"

She was going to kill him...she was going to kill him...

"Stop?" Belarus looked slightly confused.

"Yes." Latvia nodded his head, his body trembling. "Because uh...he just...well he wants you to stop."

Belarus stared at him for a long moment, a slight frown on her face.

"Latvia," she said, at last.

"Yes?" Latvia squeaked.

Belarus smiled slightly. "I think you are a very smart boy."

Latvia blinked in surprise. "Really?" he asked. "So...you'll stop all this?"

The smile changed then; Latvia's eyes widened in alarm at the utter _coldness _that radiated from her.

"No - you will be joining this _amazing way of life! _If you know what's good for you of course - and as I said, you are a smart boy."

He had to run - _now. _Latvia whirled around, prepared to run off in the other direction, but Belarus latched onto the back of his shirt, dragging him inside with a strength that someone her size shouldn't have possessed.

"More people to help me with my cause!" Belarus said, happily. "Big Brother will soon be mine...hmm, Latvia, I wonder if you'll fit the spare uniform I have...if not I'll have to get Ukraine to make a new one..."

"I told you to run," whispered the teenager, as they passed by in the hallway. "Now you're as doomed as the rest of us."

...

"Is it the hair?" Norway growled, his eyes narrowed furiously. His eyes scanned the mirror, staring intently at his silvery locks.

"No, it can't be that," he growled a moment later. "Maybe the eyes...no it's not that either...the voice? No, we sound completely different..."

"Norge," said a cautious voice from the doorway. Norway turned around briefly, his eyes narrowing in irritation as he caught sight of Denmark standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Norge, you've been holed up in here for the past few hours," Denmark said, slowly. "Come on out - your starting to act like a creep. Well, more so than usual."

"Go away," Norway snapped. "I'm in the middle of something."

Denmark stared at him dubiously. "You're staring at your reflection.

"I'm trying to figure out what the _hell _made those idiots think Iceland is my kid!" Norway's expression darkened further. "We don't look anything alike!"

Denmark stared at him in slight disbelief.

"What?!"

"Well..." He coughed. "Norge...you know, whenever you used to say that you and Iceland looked nothing alike, I never really thought you were serious..."

"What the hell is _that _supposed to mean?!" Norway growled.

"Well -"

"Nothing, that's what!" Norway stood up and stormed out of the room, shoving Denmark out of the way as he passed by. "Those idiots are out of their mind - completely crazy! I look _nothing _like Iceland, there is no _reason _for them to think we're related -"

"But you _are _related!" Denmark called after him, sounding bewildered. He shook his head, walking away. As he passed by the hallway he caught sight of Iceland, who was curled up on a chair, staring intently at a hand mirror.

"We look nothing alike..." he muttered to himself.

Denmark shook his head in disbelief; first Finland, and now Norway and Iceland. Sweden of course had always been insane but...was _everyone _in his family completely of their rockers?!

He was the only hope left...

...

"We're here!" Sealand gasped, his voice barely audible over his heavy pants. "We...made it! We finally...made...it! We're home...we...oh god, is that the press?"

Everyone stared at the crowd of reporters that surrounded the house. Poland let out a choked sob; Lithuania collapsed to the ground.

"You think things would have calmed down by now!" he moaned, as Sweden yanked him up by his collar, and deposited him in a standing position.

"They're surrounding the house!" Sealand complained. "How are we supposed to get in now?!"

The sound of distant footsteps could be heard from behind them; the group simultaneously froze.

"We'd b'tter th'nk of somethin' quick," Sweden growled. "Fn'lnd's c'min"!

"Why does the world like, always work against us?!" Poland wailed. "We're like, totally good people! I'm like, _way _too fabulous for all this - I think I like, damaged my new heels with all that running!"

"St'p complaining," Sweden snapped. "Th'nk of a plan t' g't us out!"

"What Papa said!" Sealand piped in.

"Like, don't rush me -"

_"FINNY HAS ARRIVED!"_

Everyone froze, their eyes widening in horror - even Sweden, although he quickly masked the emotion.

The scream had drawn some attention to them; reporters began to turn around, glancing in their direction. The group stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do.

Poland suddenly jerked forward, grabbing the front of Lithuania's shirt and pulling him into...

...a make-out session.

Everyone stared.

"Like, lesbian make-out session, yeah!" Poland cried, clutching onto Lithuania tighter as the other nation tried to get away. "Like, look at us reporter-people!" he called to the bewildered press.

"Poland!" Lithuania snarled. "What are you _doing?!"_

"Shh!" Poland hissed. "It's _Felka!"_

"I don't care!" he snapped.

The reporters started to glance around, their eyes landing on Sealand - who they quickly breezed over because they were only interested in _nations - _and then on Sweden.

Excited murmurs began to spread throughout the crowd as more and more of them landed on the nation. A few began to point and snap pictures; they completely ignored Poland and Lithuania, who were dressed as their female-counterparts.

Sealand, on any other occasion, would have been furious about the dismissal; however he was too busy panicking. More and more of the reporters were taking note of Sweden, and he could hear the footsteps behind them getting closer...

_"IT'S LITHUANIA AND POLAND!" _he screamed, pointing in the direction of said nations. Murmurs of shock travelled through the crowd of reporters and they surged forward, trying to get a better look at the two cross-dressing nations.

"Oh my god!" gasped a woman from the crowd. "Does this mean that Lithuania and Poland are in a relationship?!"

_"Poland, you are a traitor!" _Lithuania shrieked.

"Like, Liet, I didn't do anything!" Poland wailed in response.

The press started to descend on the two horrified nations; Sealand tugged on Sweden's hand and Sweden, understanding what the younger nation was trying to say, surged forward, dragging Sealand behind him. The two took of in the direction of the house, just as Finland came into view.

"It's for the greater good!" Sealand called out to Poland and Lithuania as he passed by.

"Like, that midget is going _down!" _Poland snarled, stopping briefly to pose for a picture; sure, he hated this, but that didn't mean he had to look _bad _while hating it...

...

**AN:**

**Oh my god guys, I am SO sorry for the MASSIVE wait! I honestly didn't intend for it to happen that way - I'd been planning to update ages ago but I kind of ended up with a bit of a writers block - and then school started and I had a heap of work piling in from their, so I was having a bit of trouble with all of this.**

**I've mapped out the remaining chapters for this fic, and planned out everything, so hopefully that'll prevent something like this happening again.**

**I'll try update quicker next time - maybe not as frequently as I used to when I first posted this out, because I have a TONE of work pouring in at school, but I'll try not to leave it for such a long period of time again!**

**Also, I recently posted out a one shot ("Case of the Missing Nation") so I'd love it if you could check that out! :D**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter! :D**


	19. Chapter 19

Italy had a plan; a really, really good plan. It was a plan that, after being completed, would make things perfect and happy again. It was a plan that would stop Germany from being so mad (...well, madder than usual) and that would prevent Austria from losing his mind (more than he already had).

Italy would find a shooting star and wish for things to be back to the way they used to be - the plan was so foolproof, Italy had to pat himself on the back! He was shocked that he hadn't thought of it before.

"Everything's going to be happy again," Italy murmured, gazing up at the night sky as he walked. "No more scary reporters to chase us around...I'm going to miss staying with Austria and Hungary, but things will be better this way..."

Italy paused his stride and looked around, considering which way to walk. Where would a shooting star go if it wanted to go somewhere?

...The forest of course! With a smile on his face, Italy hurried off in the direction of where he could vaguely remember a forest being.

...

"Italy's missing," Austria told Germany, his voice matter-of-fact and revealing no hints of concern.

"I noticed," Germany responded, his voice just as blank.

There was a brief pause.

"I'm not concerned," Austria told him.

"Neither am I."

There was another pause.

"...I think we should look for him." Germany turned to stare at Austria; Austria flushed slightly. "Not because I care of course! Just for...for..."

" - Our own good," Germany finished. Austria nodded, quickly.

"Yes," Germany said. "...Not because I care of course. Just...I mean who knows what Italy could get up to on his own?"

"I agree." Austria nodded his head. "I don't care about him, I just want to save myself...and did I mention that I don't care?"

"Are you two going to go or not?" Hungary demanded, walking into the room. "Who knows what could be happening to Italy while you two waste time?!"

Germany paled. "What do you mean what could -" He shook his head. "I'm not concern!"

"Concern is for people who are not me!" Austria added, firmly.

Hungary let out a loud sigh. "Whatever - are you going or not?"

"You aren't coming?" Germany asked, frowning slightly.

Hungary snorted. "Of course not - this is the first time I'm going to have the house to myself since all this happened. Do you honestly think I'm going to pass that up - I care for Italy and all but..._honestly."_

Germany and Austria exchanged glances, before getting up and heading towards the door.

...

"We're lost," Germany told Austria, around half an hour later. Somehow they had found themselves on some deserted street that, to their own bad-luck, happened to be completely devoid of light.

"This is all your fault," Austria grumbled, struggling to see in the darkness.

"How is it _my _fault?!" Germany spluttered. "This is _your _country!"

"Italy is your friend," Austria retorted. "I blame you."

"He's not my friend!" Germany protested, blushing slightly. "And you raised him for a time so you're to blame for him getting lost!"

"How am _I _to blame?!" Austria demanded.

"You probably instilled all that horrible coordination into him!"

"Yes well..._Hungary _raised him too! And she dressed him in _women's _clothes - _tell me _that wasn't damaging!"

_"You _let it happen!" Germany snapped back.

"Of course I let it happen - I thought he was a girl!"

"Like I said - you're fault."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?!" Austria roared. "Pull up his skirt and - and -" His voice cut off and his cheeks turned red.

"I think we should stop this line of conversation before it progresses any further," Germany said, embarrassment in his voice.

"Agreed," Austria said, quickly.

They proceeded to walk in silence.

"I think there's some light over there," Austria said, pointing into the distance. He squinted. "Yes, there is - I think that building over there must still be open. We could go and get some directions from inside."

"Good idea," Germany said. "...Directions to where?"

"Don't push me," Austria replied, stiffly.

Germany frowned slightly but shrugged his head and followed behind the dark-haired nation.

...

_"THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED!"_

The door flung open and Hungary jumped in alarm, letting go off the bottle she had been holding. She managed to catch it at the last moment before it could clatter to the floor.

"Prussia!" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wide at the sight of the person standing in front of her. "Don't scare me like that you idiot! Couldn't you have knocked on the door?!"

"Why, did I scare you?" Prussia asked, strolling into the house with a smirk stretched across his face.

"No," Hungary retorted, narrowing her eyes. "You _did _interrupt the nice time I was having though. Where have you been, anyway?"

"In America, doing some cool stuff with America and that other dude." Prussia flung himself down on the sofa. "Breaking into government bases, getting ideas for new armies - that sort of thing."

"...Oh. Well couldn't you have stayed in America?" Hungary took a swing from the bottle.

"I got bored." Prussia leaned forward and peered at the bottle, curiously. "Is that alcohol?"

"It's mine," Hungary snapped, holding the bottle possessively. "This is _my _private time - stop interrupting. They'll all be back soon."

"Yeah, where is everyone?" Prussia gazed around the room. "I come back expecting an awesome "hey Prussia, never leave us again, we almost died without your awesome self!" but instead I get _you _drinking away your miseries with a bottle of alcohol?"

"I'm not drinking away my misery!" Hungary retorted. "I'm enjoying some me-time - I _told _you that."

"I don't blame you," Prussia continued, ignoring Hungary's statement. "I mean, it's a pretty screwed up world...everyone's out there, trying to interview us, and take pictures of us, and break into our homes, and write about our personal lives...and things are probably never going to go back to the way they were, and we'll probably spend the rest of eternity being stalked..."

Hungary stared at him with wide eyes for a moment; then she gulped down the bottle in one swallow.

"...And you know what the worst part of it is?" Prussia let out a mournful sigh, his shoulder's slumping. "I'm not part of any of it."

"I need more alcohol," Hungary muttered, peeling herself off the sofa.

"Is is Austria's?" Prussia called after her.

"Yes."

"Awesome - get me every bottle you can find." Prussia flung himself onto the sofa. "Hungary, let's have a chat about how screwed up this world is."

...

"A strip club!" Germany snarled, staring in panic at Austria, who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "How the _hell _did we end up in a strip club?!"

"I..I...I don't know!" Austria stuttered. "I...I think we...I mean...my mind's gone blank!"

"We need to get out of here," Germany hissed.

"I can't see the door!" Austria wailed. "It's all blurred -"

"What do you _mean?!" _Germany spat. "This door is right over _there!"_

"Too many half-naked women to see..." Austria muttered, closing his eyes and trembling slightly. "I'm a faithful husband...I'm a faithful husband! How could I have possibly ended up here...how could I have _possibly _ended up in a _strip-club...?"_

"Stop complaining and let's get out of here!" Germany yelled, over the loud music.

"Naked women everywhere -"

And so, that was how the two biggest prudes in the world found themselves in the middle of an Austrian strip-club.

"...My god, my country has _strip clubs!"_

...

Italy stared up at the sky, a blank expression on his face. He'd lost track of just how long he had been waiting for a shooting star; in fact, his mind had already started to wander away from his quest.

"...Germany is so strong and brave," he sighed. "Why can't I be strong and brave like Germany? Why do I have to be so weak and pathetic..."

He looked around, almost as if searching for someone to answer his question. Of course, he was met with silence.

"I don't want to be weak," he mumbled. "I want to be an amazing nation...like Germany! I don't want Germany to always have to protect me - maybe if I was stronger, Germany wouldn't be so mad all the time! I don't want Germany to be mad all the time..."

Once again, he was met with silence.

"...Germany is so amazing. Why can't I be amazing too? I don't want to be a scaredy-cat anymore..."

Something flashed out of the corner of his eye; he dragged his eyes over to it, his eyes widening at what he saw.

"A shooting star!" he exclaimed, sitting up in surprise. "Ve, this is so great! Now I can wish for things to go back to the way they were!"

He opened his mouth to make his wish - and -

" - I want to become the ruler of the world!"

...Okay so that hadn't been part of the plan.

Italy watched the star disappear at sat still, staring into the darkness. He frowned slightly; maybe he shouldn't have said that. He'd really _wanted _to ask for things to be normal again but...all that thought of being as amazing as Germany had changed his direction of thought! Being ruler of the world had seemed nice at the time...after all, that would make him as strong as Germany! No, _stronger. _That way he could protect Germany for once.

"Oh, I'm so _selfish!" _Italy wailed, screwing up his eyes. "Now things will never be good again, and it's all my fault! I don't want to be ruler of the world anymore - take it back, take it back! _Please _take it back!"

There was no response (obviously) and Italy let out a loud wail.

"How do I give back a wish?" he cried out. "I want to give it back! Can someone tell me how?!"

Italy sat there for a few moments, a look of distress on his face. How could you hand back a wish? There had to be some sort of process...right? You could get refunds for things like clothes and furniture, so _surely _you could get ones for wishes...right?

"Germany will know!" Italy announced, leaping up. He hurried off in the other direction. Yes...of course Germany would know! Germany knew _everything!_

...

"That was horrific," Germany muttered, his shoulders hunched as he walked. "I honestly have no idea what France see's in these things."

"He's France," Austria pointed out.

"True."

The two walked in a silence for a few moments, refusing to glance at each other. Germany stared at the wide expanse of darkness in front of him, letting out a sigh.

"So what are we going to -"

"Germany! Austria!"

Something slammed into Germany from behind; he managed to prevent himself from stumbling forward and whirled around.

"Italy!" he snapped at the figure standing behind him. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Do you know what you made us do?!" Austria snarled.

"I did a horrible thing!" Italy moaned. "I...I...I had a chance to make things go back to the way they were before everyone found out about us! But...I messed up!"

Germany and Austria stared at him.

"...What the hell did you just say?!" Germany demanded.

"I could have fixed things!" Italy screwed his eyes up. "You see - there was this shooting star, and I could have wished for things to be good again, except I wished to be ruler of the world instead! Germany, I don't deserve to be ruler of the world!"

Austria and Germany's shoulders relaxed simultaneously.

"Thank god," Austria muttered. "I thought he was serious for a moment."

"No," Germany responded, continuing his walk forward. "Just Italy, blabbering on about nothing as usual."

...

The sight they were greeted with when they opened the door to Austria's home, actually made Austria scream out loud.

_"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" _he howled, as Prussia slammed his coffee table onto the ground, breaking it in half.

"Bruder!" Germany yelled, glaring at Prussia, who ignored him and reached for a nearby lamp. Hungary beat him to it, grabbing it and smashing it against a nearby wall.

"Hungary!" Austria yelled in protest. He suddenly paled. "Oh god...she knows about the strip club! She knows about the strip club!"

A nearby ornament was smashed an inch away from the startled trio.

"What are you two _doing?!" _Germany demanded.

"Hey un-awesome loser, from his un-awesome place, which is clearly not as awesome as Prussia!" Prussia slurred, clearly drunk. Beside him, Hungary let out a high pitched giggle.

"Hungary is way better than Prussia!"

"Is she drunk?" Austria asked in disbelief.

"I am awesome!" Prussia continued, staggering forward. _"AND THIS WORLD IS NOT!"_

"We're taking out our anger on your stuff," Hungary giggled, beaming at Austria. She reached out and smashed a picture frame inches away from his head. "It's so much fun!"

"I should have wished for things to be better!" Italy wailed. "Oh Germany, help me take back my wish!"

**...**

**AN:**

**Haha okay, I know not much happened in this chapter to help with the storyline, but I just thought I'd give these characters a bit of time, because they haven't had much in the story so far.**

**Hopefully this was worthwhile; tell me what you think :D **


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